Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

[Hauelzk]

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

Is laddish some kind of code for being an absolute dick?

I couldnt spend time with such an immature, unkind prat

I bet he then passed it off as “banter”!!! AKA bullying …

Your husband sounds like a bit of a dick. I don't know what football has to do with it. I adore football and I wouldn't be a cunt to someone trying to do their job.

My Ss has worked in the building industry all of his working life, from trainee surveyor to managing director, he would never behave like this. As well as fed up I would find your Dp mortally embarrassing, as the MN saying goes ' put the whole man in the bin'

I don't think @Hauelzk will be coming back but I really hope they are reading every single post and will be making a decision to leave this awful man.

There are also decent men in the world, and I suggest you find one.

A thick bully sadly but at least you’ve stopped another poor women getting him.

Agree with pps - awful behaviour. At least he’s only your DP, not your DH, so it’s easier to toss him back into the cesspit he crawled out of.

Awful behaviour. Imagine having kids with this Neanderthal.

Agree entirely.

No excuse. ‘Banter’ at work with mates should stay at work. The building trade has lots of enforced safety rules so, were he not drunk and loutish, he should appreciate an employee doing his job in difficult circumstances.

He’s a total bellend. Whatever you do, don’t have children with him.

Your DP is a bully. This is truly awful behaviour! Raise your bar ffs!! How can you justify this in your head OP?? I’d have been utterly mortified if I was even associated with your DP…never mind living with him!! You know this is wrong…and you know this won’t change. This is who you’re sharing your life with…I’m embarrassed for you!

I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

Sounds like that achieves nothing!

And makes you part of the problem.

You’ve got yourself a real charmer there.

He’s a bully boy.

It’s only “banter” if the recipient is in on the joke… your DP sounds like an absolute knob.

I do admire that you are questioning it rather than just laughing along… but really he sounds like an obnoxious bully. If he treats other people like that he’s more than capable of treating you like that down the line.

my dh is in consctruction. If he did this I wouldn’t want him coming home with us that night, it’s disgusting behaviour.

I would be breaking up with him. Laddish behaviour as standard. Chanting abuse at someone at work. They are not qualities I would have been looking for in a husband.

can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually
What sort of behaviour do you mean here? You roll your eyes so you find it either embarrassing or pathetic? What is it?

@Hauelzk Remember, you choose your life partner. You date them to decide if your morals and outlook are a match then you decide to commit. If you stay with someone who you regularly roll your eyes at because their behaviour is an embarrassment, that’s is a bit lazy and not going to lead to a happy relationship.

How pathetic. Why would you be with someone like that?

A good example how awful this country has become. Disgusting behaviour from you ALL but especially your DP. If my DP did this I’d tell him to stop being so rude and go and check the guy was ok.

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

Even if the staff member was a bit rude, chanting "you fat bastard" at him was a disproportionate response and totally unacceptable. You're not being a killjoy! That was just mean.

You think his behaviour is acceptable on the terraces as well?

You think that behaviour was laddish?

You deserve each other OP.