Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

[Hauelzk]

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

Do you live with this immature twat?

He’s a bully

I despise ‘laddism’. It celebrates everything I hate- basically, it celebrates men being sexist, charmless, ignorant, oafish, beer-swilling morons. They’re so loud and cocky when they’re full of beer and surrounded by their little buddies. Get them on their own, however, without alcohol, and they are usually so f-ing boring you want to scream.

Your husband behaved like a nasty little teenager showing off his front of his friends. That poor guy was probably hot, tired and stressed. He’d probably had a hellish day, and then he gets jeered at by two man-babies. I wonder if your husband and his little sidekick would have insulted that man if he’d been a six foot boxer? I suspect not.

I'd say "is your husband 12?",
But even a normal twelve year old knows not to be a nasty bully.
That's what your husband is.

Singing to humiliate someone doing their job? Weren't you absolutely mortified to be with him?

The shame needs to switch sides on this one.

Because not only did he behave appallingly, but rather than own it and feel ashamed, he reversed it to bully you for calling it out. Darvo.

Yes his reaction to you is equally important.

This is not a case of someone going a bit mad after too many drinks and waking up embarrassed and with remorse.

He thinks his behaviour is fine, and doesn't even see a need to apologise. He's a bully and he doesn't respect you either.

I'm sorry OP, he is a prize wanker.

He's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Covering it up as 'laddish behaviour' doesn't really cut it, 'true colours' more like.
If you stay together it's a case of put up and shut up, doubtful he'll every change into a caring, compassionate adult so it's whether or not you can cope with that reality really - but can you have a meaningful relationship with someone you don't respect?

I’d be horrified if my son ever behaved like this, or my teenage nephew… if my husband acted like this he wouldn’t be my husband. Any chance you married a 15 year old boy by mistake?

YABU for staying with the abusive twat.

Okay, I'll say what I really want to then, when one of these drunk or drugged up idiots fall on a rail line or have an accident that maimes them THEN they learn a lesson.

That would definitely learn them (sic)!

Your DP is a drunk bully as has been pointed out to you.
My dsis works in construction and strangely has never behaved like this? I don’t think it’s essential in the field. In fact she has been extremely successful.

It would if they are on the platform then fell on the tracks. There would be a few people that would be happy about that, I certainly would - no sympathy at all.

Exactly. The thing I hate about men like that is you know they’d never do that sort of thing on their own. And they certainly wouldn’t do it to a big ex-para with a broken nose. In my experience, ‘laddism’ is a way of hiding. Men who identify as ‘lads’ are usually boring beyond words. Only when they are full of beer or drugs and surrounded by their little friends do they feel confident. Get them on their own, totally sober, and they can barely string a sentence together.

@Hauelzk Fucking hell, you must have dredged the local canal to find this dinosaur. Are you that desperate? I thought men like him died out in the 80's.

Never ceases to amaze me how low some women’s bar is when it comes to a male partner. I’d have dumped him on the spot for being such a yob, apologised to the station worker and got a different train home.

LTB PLEASE

That is disgusting. Totally out of order - I would struggle to get past that and would see him for his true colours that he most definitely showed. What a nasty piece of work!!

He’s an arsehole. I wouldn’t go out in public with someone who behaved like this.

Oh Christ, no. Not a cat in hells chance I would be with someone who behaved like this.

Calling someone who is just trying to do their job "a fat bastard" is verbal abuse not "robust banter". If this had been a woman and they called her a "fat cunt" is that "robust banter"? If you stay with him you are just as bad as him. Disgusting.

Yep, not laddish. He’s a cunt.

How old are you and DP? I've only seen teenagers act like that. I'd have zero attraction to a man who acted like that.

Do you enjoy being out and about with the type of man decent people would cross the road to avoid?

I've got secondhand ick. Your DP sounds like a right wanker

That is not robust banter it is bullying and verbal.abuse.
I would not be staying with a prat like your dp is. Using the word banter as a cover all for any abuse, grim.