Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

[Hauelzk]

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

yuk. I couldn’t be around someone who behaved like that. He’s a dick end of

You're married to a real prince. 🙄

Yep.

And if you have children. It would make me wonder what kind of standard of behaviour he is showing them and if they think its normal. It's a throwback to behaviour we would have seen in the 1970s and 1980s.

Yeah that kind of behaviour would be instant ick for me.

Such embarrassing, loutish behaviour. I’d have been ashamed to be seen with him, and would have told him so in no uncertain terms.

You’re confusing ‘laddish’ with ‘a cunt’ OP. Do you really want to be associated with such an utter bellend?

I’m afraid if I’d witnessed that I’d be thinking almost as badly as the friends / partners that tolerated it as the perpetrators themselves. Evil triumphs when good people say nothing and all.

The construction job is a red herring by the way. I know plenty of tradies (was married to one) and yes that kind of ‘banter’ might unfortunately about fly on site between themselves but they’d never in a million years speak like that to a stranger just doing their job.

Your partner is uncouth scum.
The type that decent people step away from, don't want their children to witness, and generally studiously avoid as they are loud threatening thugs with a few drinks.

Yanbu to be appalled.
Any decent person would be.

Oh and people absolutely judge you by the company you keep.

Raise your bar, and don't inflict him on a child.
There are more than enough of this type around spoiling a days outing and the world in general.

Vom. Last time I've seen someone behave like that was in high school. I would be speechless but my partner is a kind, sincere person.

What a prince amongst men he is

…and it wasn’t even witty or clever. Chanting “you fat b*stard” isn’t just loutish and cruel. It’s the sort of thing a thick 14-year-old would chant because he wasn’t clever or sharp enough to think of anything else.

Yeah he sounds like an absolute dick. If you’re not unfortunate enough to be already married to him I’d get rid of does he know you think it’s awful behaviour?

@Hauelzk Most men grow out of "lad culture" before they reach 20. Is your partner young?

Even the term "lad" makes me cringe. There are other men you can date, so why have you selected a "lad" to be your partner? That makes no sense.

Your partner has the personality of a 7 year old, actually my 7 yr old nephew is way more mature that your hubbie because at least he's fully aware that a being train staff is a stressful job and knows better not to call "fat bastard" to a poor dude trying to do his job in a very stressful situation.

I feel sorry you have to put up with this t-wat and hope reason for this is becase he's a millionaire, amazing in the sack and wakes you up on sundays with eggs and bacon ready otherwise I see no other explanation.

This.

This.

the poor station guy.

Your DH has no idea what that man might be going through.

He sounds awful.

My Dh works in a very traditionally male dominated trade. All his employees are men. I can assure you that this behaviour is not the norm. Dh would never in a million years treat someone like this, nor would anyone he works with, and they’ve been on many boozy nights out.

I have family members who work on site and yes the language and ‘jokes’ can be a bit brutal.
However there is a time and a place and taking the piss out of your fellow mates on site in that environment is totally different to verbally abusing someone in a public place whilst they are doing their job
I can’t imagine my brother in laws behaving like it and they’ve worked on sites for 25+ years and if they had their partners/wives would have been so horrified, they would have been left on the platform.
It’s only banter when it’s people of equal status in a place where both people are participating, otherwise it’s small minded bullying and harassment.

This is disgusting. It was disgusting in 1994 when it might have been less unusual but now it's just bizarre.

Does he have no empathy? How can he think it's ok to humiliate a person at work like that?

I would be so turned off and it probably wouldn't change for me. So I'm not saying ltb but I'd probably end up doing just that.

I’d be furious and embarrassed with my DP. Nothing wrong with a joke but this went further and was humiliating for the poor guy at the station.

If there’s a power imbalance (outnumbered, humiliated etc) then it’s not banter, it’s bullying. Simple. Like your DP.

Nasty behaviour aimed at a person trying to do their job.

How would he like it if the body shaming chant and jeering was aimed at him, his dad or his brother?

Your DP sounds a horrid rude git .

edited for spelling

Awful. I would be mortified if that was my partner.
‘Laddish’ usually means appalling yob-like behaviour. Low class.

Your partner and his mate are VILE!!! Utterly VILE!! Anyone who thinks this behaviour is ok there’s something badly wrong with them. Get some balls and self respect and dump the vile arsehole

I think you spelt 'bully' wrong. Gross.