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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my dd is very young to be pregnant

254 replies

Nantobeb777 · 01/05/2026 20:02

Just 23

OP posts:
Peonies12 · 02/05/2026 06:25

I thought you were going to say 14. It’s young but it’s her decision. Lots of pros to being younger - more energy, and I think it can be easier to adjust as you haven’t had much of your own life yet!

pilates · 02/05/2026 06:27

It’s not that young. You haven’t said if she is a in a happy stable relationship with a roof over her head and a good financial position?

Stnam · 02/05/2026 06:49

My friend's mum had my friend straight after university. She went back to work in her late 20s. By the time we were teenagers, her career was going really well. When we were nearly finished at university, she sold her business and bought a house by the sea. We spent many happy times there. It isn't as if life stops when you have children. You probably do a few years less of going out and drinking. My friend's mum always recommended having children young. You do have to be able to house them though, and her dad had a steady job that paid reasonably well.

rainingsnoring · 02/05/2026 06:49

It's not that young. Context is important here though and you have completely left that out of your post @Nantobeb777 and then disappeared.

Joeythehurler · 02/05/2026 07:10

Yes she is. I’d be depressed if she is. It’s early to have such a huge life changing event.

BlueMum16 · 02/05/2026 07:12

Has she got her shit together? Job? Partner? Home?

If so, I don't see age being a factor.

FedUpOfThisGCSEmalarkey · 02/05/2026 07:20

231 responses and OP, unsurprisingly, has not been back.

Gibstub · 02/05/2026 07:24

Great age to be pregnant. Fertility starts going backwards at 25.

Wecanbeheroes26 · 02/05/2026 07:33

Yep. But to each their own.

GoldMoon · 02/05/2026 07:44

I was 21 & 25 . I also think it depends on how mature and where you are in life etc that matters .

HoppingPavlova · 02/05/2026 07:54

Yep, I think it’s too young. I’d be disappointed if my child as I can’t imagine how they would be well set up at 23yo. I have kids older than that, uni educated, well paying professional jobs, mainly have their shit together but they are nowhere near being set up enough to consider kids.

FriendshipDynamic · 02/05/2026 07:54

IMO the fact people are leaving it so late to have children now is leading to a grandparentless generation. We’re changing the dynamic of family and society.

soon it will be rare for people in their 40’s and 50’s to still have extended family and even parents, and that’s not a good thing.

RS1987 · 02/05/2026 08:01

I think 23 is a lovely age to have a baby. If I had had my first 10 years earlier I think I’d have ended up having 3 or 4. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, don’t get me wrong, but there are more than one way to do things.

HereAndNo · 02/05/2026 08:57

I would hate my daughter to be pregnant at 23. I think it’s unlikely, with her being at university and hearing about her hopes and dreams for the next few years.

HereAndNo · 02/05/2026 09:06

Calliopespa · 01/05/2026 22:16

In fact it's none of your business.

Why do people say this kind of thing?

It's really normal to take an interest in one's children and worry about their decisions.

I know. It’s just stupid. They are probably the kind of parents who think that because their kids are adults on their18th birthdays, they can kick them out.

Myli1 · 02/05/2026 09:08

Absolutely not! I thought you were going to say she’s 15 or something! 23 is a perfect age IMO, old enough to cope mentally and emotionally and still young enough to be at peak physical fitness.

Girlwithavibe · 02/05/2026 09:28

I was 23 and turned 24 10 days after having my 1st child .
I am 50 this year and he will be 26. ! It's a fabulous age to have a baby lots of energy and still young to enjoy them as adults / friends socialising !
Plus she is at her most fertile and healthy age to have a baby !

Calliopespa · 02/05/2026 12:34

HereAndNo · 02/05/2026 09:06

I know. It’s just stupid. They are probably the kind of parents who think that because their kids are adults on their18th birthdays, they can kick them out.

Edited

Yes, either that or I sometimes wonder if they are very young and resent having their own parents point things out when they are plainly taking poor decisions. disagree.

Scarlettpixie · 02/05/2026 12:59

What are you worried about? I don't think 23 is too young. I wanted a baby at 23. Had it happened it would have been fine. As it was I was 34. Also fine.

ZoeCM · 02/05/2026 13:36

Look at all the women who are taking ethically dubious routes to parenthood (surrogacy, donor eggs) because they waited until too late to have children. And if anyone points out the ethical concerns, they try to shut the discussion down by playing the "you don't understand the pain of infertility" card, as though there's no way they could possibly have known that fertility declines with age.

Your daughter is taking responsibility for her own fertility and having a baby at the healthiest point to do so. Good for her.

myglowupera · 02/05/2026 14:05

YABVU. I had two by the time I was 23 and I was beyond happy.

I really hope you haven’t told her she’s too young and you keep your thoughts to yourself. You have no right to put doubts in to her head.

FedUpOfThisGCSEmalarkey · 02/05/2026 15:08

OP isn’t coming back, people.

Cherrytree86 · 02/05/2026 15:34

So long as she’s doesn’t live with you and can support herself it’s ok

Nantobeb777 · 04/05/2026 22:04

Cherrytree86 · 02/05/2026 15:34

So long as she’s doesn’t live with you and can support herself it’s ok

She does

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 05/05/2026 07:58

Cherrytree86 · 02/05/2026 15:34

So long as she’s doesn’t live with you and can support herself it’s ok

Do you mean kick her out? What do you mean by ‘so long?’