What number?

[coulditbeme2323]

Following on from a discussion with a friend in real life.

What figure would you check with your husband/wife before spending?

Obviously this is going to vary on stage of life, earnings etc etc.

But you said LESS likely in that quote history if married. That’s the confusion.

Apologies, typo.

Not if you’ve got joint bills eg mortgage and or children.

I take your point, but there still isn't the legal financial protection of marriage.

We don't have a joint account so I wouldn't ever check. I earn my money and spend it how and when I want. I may tell him I have bought something, I showed him a picture
Of the car I was going to buy 🙂

We are not married but we have very joint finances and who pays for what is more a function of who happened to set up the DD rather than anything more strategic. These days we don't have a lot of spare cash because we are renovating and he is not working (we have small kids) so I'd probably discuss anything over £1k before buying it. Back when we were both earning and there was a lot of money spare I might mention a purchase but probably wouldn't feel the need to actively discuss anything less than 10k.

🤣🤣🤣

Yes, but that has nothing to do with how you spend/sort the money. That only really comes into play if people separate or divorce.

There are other financial protections/benefits to be being married - but yes I take your point.

Purely based on OPs replies, I am going to take a stab, and assume your HUSBAND has bought something without your approval OP. Which has taken a chunk of your "joint" (cause you're married) money and you think he should have discussed it with you?

No, it was actually following a convo with a friend.

She was the buyer, and husband thought she should have checked first.

Please do tell… because I’ve been in a relationship in both situations and nothing was different.

I don’t check with him at all. We have separate finances, always have. Providing the bills we’re responsible for get paid and we have money for holidays and savings the rest is ours to do as we want.

It might not have felt different, but legally it was.

I don't check, we have a joint account into which goes all of our money. We both buy what we like. Only time it would be discussed is if it was something large for the house and that would have nothing to do with the cost just which item was better or we liked more.

But the protection only comes into play when you are divorcing

There are other financial benefits to being married, but yes I take your point.

So again, I ask…how should attitude around money be different when married?

Jesus wept… you keep saying the same thing what are these other benefits? name them!

I don't think it's so much that it "should" it's just that when you are married, there become all sort of legal implications.

Stuff for the home, a new car, holidays etc. we’d look and decide together.

Clothes, concerts, sporting events, etc. we’d just go ahead and buy. The only checking might be confirming the date is free.

You have reminded me of a story about my grandma. She was out with her sister in law and saw a nice standard lamp. Her sister in law told her she’d have to ask her husband if she could buy it. Therefore, grandma bought it on the spot, saying no I don’t!

DP and I don’t really check with each other regarding our individual spending. We will discuss joint/household purchases and decide together on that.

We have a joint account that we each put 20% of our monthly salary into and that covers groceries, fuel, window cleaners and small miscellaneous household bills. DP earns much more than I do so he can spend what he likes as far as I’m concerned. We’re both quite sensible with money and neither of us are big spenders anyway.

There are 9 here.

https://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2025/01/martin-lewis--the-nine-big-financial-benefits-of-being-married/

LOL.

We've been together for 23 years and we own a home together. We're legally and financially linked in all sorts of ways. It's not different at all.

We would still have separate bank accounts if we got married. If we got married tomorrow, we wouldn't suddenly start asking each other if we could buy things because we'd exchanged rings in a register office. There's nothing we'd do differently if we were married.

I think people are getting defensive, because they think I am suggesting that non married couples are inferior.

To be clear I am not, but that doesn't take away from the fact that financially things legally are quite different.