How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

So, what's your point, exactly...?
🤔

I’d be interested to know if people would feel differently about a woman who’d slept with 50 men and a gay woman who’d slept with 50 women? I have a friend who’s ’body count’ is similar to mine but she’s a lesbian and quite proud of it and would never dream of lying about it. IF you do have a bit of judgement about a woman who has slept with a high number of men (which is kinda normal - thanks patriarchy) how would you feel about a woman who’d slept with a similar number of women?

Abused as a child.

There I've said it. Late 50s now, never kept count but alone now. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic or I just haven't met him yet!
I've worked hard to forgive myself and find some sort of peace with it. Its a daily thing that I work on.

3 fabulous kids now grown, living their own lives. Divorced.
Would never discuss body count with partners or kids !
Definitely don't recommend casual encounters as a past time, though many do advocate FWBs, its not something that I'm comfortable with because I just end up feeling used.
Have a chap thst is here 6 months of the year. Always up for socialising with inevitable ONS. Been like this on repeat since covid - when we bubbled.
I've distanced myself recently from our 3- 4 yearly fumbles.
Sad really because I want connection but I also value my own time and space and can think of nothing worse than full time compromising over little things.
He offers wining , no dining and s*x! Nothing else, no outings - zilch
Anyway, thats clarified my position and been quite cathartic!
Thanks if you've made it this far. Apologies if I strayed from the original point.

Thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Those of us with that particular type of adverse childhood experience absolutely will have had our approach to sex and relationships affected. I'm in my mid 40s and still have problems in the area. You're not alone.

3 and nearly 40 years old
1st one beat the crap out of me for years, second one died and third one I’m married too.

Its so damaging, hard to to frame sexual encounters in relation to it. I've tried - believe me!
I'm too full on, no boundaries, great for most men but ultimately makes me d*e a little inside and the respect goes.
I dont know how to behave with men its either full on or sexless and distant.
I'm happy to sit this one out now. Love to see loved up couples but it really isn't for me.
Maybe if the right man comes along but can't see it .

I am exactly the same. At the beginning of a relationship I'm hyper sexual and 'too much', then most of my relationshios end when I can no longer bear to be touched by them. I always found ONS easier because it seems to me the problem is caused when emotions and sex go together, like I had to separate them as a child and now as an adult I can't join them back up. I've had so much therapy, but it never changed.

I'm sorry if this has hit a nerve. Some people can happily have ONS but I've still got this romanticised idea of a happily ever after - contrasted with the idea all men are potential serial killers!
I think I need to accept the reality of whats available and not worry too much.
Its difficult being older and single, life is designed for couples unless you're financially solvent.And I'm not !
In my experiences historic abuse messes with teen years when women are consolidating education and careers.
I did go back and get my education but by then life had happened and finding time to work on myself and commit to a new relationship has somewhat passed.
If ONS works for you then thats great!