How many people have you slept with?

[Fearlesssloth]

…and do you lie about it? I’m late 30s, 4 or 5 relationships, most 1-2 years, been married now for 6 years. I’ve slept with around 50 people (I know cos I made a list once!) Only 1 or 2 were ‘true’ one night stands. I know that’s a lot but I refuse to be ashamed of it, I had a lot of fun in my youth. When I was dating before my husband I never admitted it to anyone I was dating. I’d always say less than 10. So how many people have you slept with and do you freely admit it or do you reduce the number a lot if asked by people you’re dating or were dating before if you’re in a relationship? And how do you feel about the number?

One, one time, when I was 21, which made me realise I truly wasn't interested in sex. Later on I discovered the concept of asexuality. While I have no interest in labelling myself as anything, it was nice to know that my experience did exist and was a thing.

I started late at 23 and then they were all between 23 and 31.

Could have been a lot more but I was really picky! One was a relationship, one was love and the last was both, my now husband! The others were 1 night stands with friends I fancied but didn't want any more from.

That seems really arbitrary, what's the rationale for 15/20? I get it if someone says they only have sex with people they love which is usually quite a low number, or if people are the opposite end of the spectrum and enjoy casual sex, I can't see the logic of your number? Not judging just curious.

There is no logic there. Just feelings of shame for no logical reason

Does your husband know your a dick?

I know quite a lot of people who have only slept with their now husband. They weren't necessarily their first boyfriend though.

In my 20s I moved in a lot of evangelical church circles so most people I knew through that tried to wait.

I was engaged in my 20s and we didn't have sex. It was incredibly difficult and if we hadn't both had the same aim to wait for marriage we'd never have managed it. I was glad in the end as we broke up very traumatically and I think if I'd slept with him it would have been even worse.

By my 30s I wasn't religious any more but knew myself well enough to know I wouldn't enjoy a random shag. DH was the first relationship I had post-ex and he proposed very quickly, luckily for my libido 😂

I have really struggled with this thread and have gone to post several times, but the answer is none of your business and, it is nobody else's business either.

Has anyone claimed the username DoesYourHusbandKnow yet?

I’m 55 and I’m slightly embarrassed that it’s 1. Very few people know my number. Started dating DH at 20, fooled around a bit with two previous boyfriends but never did the deed. I don’t know if I could have sex with someone else, the thought of it fills me with dread.

I'll start using it as a catchphrase. 😂

40-50 I reckon. I am 37. Been with my husband 13 years. I was his number 5. He knows, we were friends before we got together and knows details I probably wouldn't have told him if we weren't friends. 4 longer relationships. Quite a few friends with benefits. The rest 1 night stands.

I'm not embarrassed about it.

I’m not sure, definitely more than 10 probably less than 20, but only one, so far, in this century. I’m nearly 60.

Yes be happy with whatever number you have.

Most (if not all) of my many (more than 50 less than 100) were great fun and certainly not wading through poor offerings.

Good sex takes two. If he's a shit shag, show, teach or tell. Life is too short.

I've had a few long term partners two husbands and plenty of FWB or ONS.

If asked in person it is no one's business so I wouldn't enter that conversation.

DH has a good idea I've had a few before him but I think he may have had a few too. Who cares. Safe sex. Consenting adults. Lots and lots of fun.

Happily married now in my early 50s. I'd hate to think if we split that would be the end of intimacy.

We must be attracted to very different types of men!

Lots. Don’t know the exact number, between 50-100. My 20s were fantastic, zero regrets and no shame. I had no interest in serious relationships until I met my husband.

People are welcome to judge, I couldn’t care less. If I have the privilege of getting old and retaining my memory, I’ll have plenty of stories to keep the residents of the old folks home entertained!

6 I think. 2 are ex-husbands, 1 is current husband.

I’m 42 and somewhere between 20 and 30?

Before I met DH I had some long relationships, some ONSs and a lot of fun. I don’t lie about it as such but if DH had ever asked me then we wouldn’t be married, in my experience there is no right answer for anymanone that asks that question when dating. There’s always a motive for asking beyond idle curiosity.

6 for me. Never lied about it, but to be honest I can’t recall anyone ever asking! I’ve been married for 15 years, DH has never asked.

23 at age 23, when I met my husband, and he has been the only one since. I wouldn’t lie about it, I’m pretty sure we did talk about our numbers at one point or another but can’t remember what he said for his as I don’t really care. I think it was around the same ballpark, maybe more.

I feel good about my number. I was glad I got a variety of sexual experiences before settling down. I don’t think I’m going to wake up at 45 and wonder if there is more to life.

I think had I stayed single for longer I’d have racked up a higher number. I like sex and I liked trying sex with different kinds of men. I like being desired!

Perhaps ABBA could do a re-mix of ‘Does your mother know’ in honour of OP!

I’m 31 and it’s probably about 30 odd people. Who cares though, honestly? And to the judgemental women on here gloating that they’re glad no one remembers their vulva, I highly doubt any of the men I’ve slept with in my past remember my genitals. I certainly don’t remember theirs.

What I do remember though is having a hell of a lot of fun, partying a lot, laughing harder than I’ve ever laughed before on crazy nights out and sleeping with attractive, equally as fun men. I was always safe about it, it was always consensual and I don’t regret a single thing.

I’ve been with my now husband since I was 21. He’s slept with 10 people. He doesn’t care about my number.

I was just thinking ''is that an ABBA song?'' before realising it's mother, not husband. 😂

@KellsBells7 Hard agree with this. I had the best time ages 18-21. I had such fun on nights out and then when I went to university I just went a bit wild. I loved sex and I loved being desired, even if it was literally only for a few hours lol! I had no interest in anything serious at that point in my life. I couldn’t imagine getting to my 50/60s and wondering if I’d missed out on anything…

Just counted and it’s 17, maybe 18 or 19 if I’ve forgotten any. Been married 25 years, all were before husband when I was living and loving the single life. Then travelled and had a
few holiday romances that were brilliant, I’m not ashamed nor do I deny.

I'll be honest and say I don't actually know without sitting and really thinking about it and then I'd probably miss one or two.
I'm open about it though as don't actually care if people think it's a lot, life is short.
It's a lot more than DH though.
Edit to add-I'm late 40's and been with DH since I was 19. The years prior to this were clearly fun... 🤭