Matcha, leggings with socks over, botox, yada yada yada

[Wheredidallthegoodonesgo]

So bored of it.

This is nearly every mum in my area, pilates & matcha, botox and handyman & cleaner recommendations. No depth, no real worries..basic.

Aibu to want to meet funny, down to earth mums with depth and interesting pasts and conversations?

And the irony is, OP has been called out as ‘judgey’ but her accusers have said some awful things about her (‘thick as shit’ is just one lovely example). The words pot, kettle & black come to mind

Ah the white sock wankers as I call them.
Sneering at anyone who's different and ignores you when you say hello.

OP, can you try to think of other ways of meeting people?

Do they also say ‘obsessed’ a lot and everything is ‘gorgeous’?

Haha glad we didn’t buy there then! I thought it looked nice with lots of eateries.

Its quite sad if women get so influenced by social media that they do this.

I’m with you OP. Late to the thread but yes basically they are following what they see on social media. Plus what they see at the school gate. Lots of ‘new money’ where we live too. Also lots of wellness coaches. Whatever they are. No one seems to be going to a normal job.

It is nice. There are many different types of people who live there, just like any place. I don’t recognise the version of it that the PP describes.

Why don’t YOU open up more ‘down to earth’ conversations?

I get what you mean OP. I'd go further to say that even people with so called "interesting pasts" can be shallow or self absorbed, assuming the other person just wants to listen about how interesting they are 🤣
I also know smart, accomplished people (according to societal standards), ready to discuss politics and current events at the drop of a hat. That doesn't appeal to me personally, I see it as nothing but dry intellectualism. My interests lie elsewhere and mean nothing to them so we have no common ground.

🤣🤣🤣

People have always followed fashion aka 'lacked originality'. Look at any painting and you can date the century/era. People in Tudor times didn't dress like Elizabethans who didn't dress like Victorians.

More recently, look at any photo of a group and you will accurately be able to identify the decade in which it was taken. Every period and era has its 'look'. There will always be rebels and outliers but even they will probably reflect something of what they see around them.

My mum was always very scathing about people who followed trends completely ignoring the photographic evidence of her as a young mum in the 60s with mini skirts, long white boots, bouffant hair enhanced with 'switches' and multiple false eyelashes.

There shouldn't be any shame in wanting to look au courant or dressing to identify your tribe any more than people should be embarrassed by expressing their individuality.

This is true but how do you explain the matcha? Do they all like it or are they all just sheep? People are just buying what social media tells them to like.

I have heard people say that they can't be friends with people because they are 'girly girls', privately educated, state educated, vote labour/reform/conservative, too rich, too poor, too foreign, too old, too young, too gay, too cliquey, too blond, too nerdy, too straight, too working/middle/upper class, too flashy etc. Your lot are too 'basic' for you.

When I feel like this, which I sometimes do, it is because I am being prejudiced or insecure. I tell myself to stop being a dick and talk to people. Or sometimes I justify it in my head and wallow in it.

Very judgmental OP! You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Once you get past the school gate small talk, people can be very interesting. People can be multifaceted - it's possible to care about one's appearance, like a certain type of drink, AND be interesting and well-read. Sounds to me like you need to improve your conversation skills.

Also how do you know they like matcha? It's hard to imagine this coming up in conversation. Are you making assumptions based on the leggings and socks?

No because they all carry it and talk about it

People are allowed to enjoy a drink!

Genuine advice. Stop worrying about what other people are doing, completely. Focus on being yourself, wearing what you like, doing things you like and you will find your people.

The world is full of vacuous people who become triggered at the drop of a hat. Sadly they are in the majority and everyone else has to accommodate their vacuous outrage while pretending they are vacuous too if they want to assimilate.

The world is full of people who go home and despair at the shallow nature of their social circle. Men in particular. I’m seeing women become more like men by having lots of superficial boardline competitive friendships where is traditionally women would have a few close deep friendships. That’s sad, but adults don’t really have the opportunity to develop deep friendships anymore. Proximity is the biggest factor in developing friendships but people move house, their children move school, they move job, they work remotely. People aren’t in proximity to each other long enough to form deep friendships anymore.

You are not alone, but the other people like you are having to pretend to be shallow and superficial- so they are not instantly recognisable to you. You will have to talk to people and get to know them and find the ones who only drink the matcha to get by socially- kiss a lot of frogs so to speak.

The problem then is the superficial friendships you’ve formed with vacuous people while trying to find your tribe. They stay superficial and you’d happily drop them, but to another person outside the group it looks like you’re all matcha drinking, Pilates ‘obsessed’ idiots. And the cycle continues.

Basic and bubbleheads? Because they go to Pilates and have cleaners? Wow

what the same as coffee? It’s no different, you either like it or you don’t.

That’s not judging, that’s reading someone’s judgment and knowing that it’s a really stupid thing to say! It’s evidence based on what she has said, not assuming because she drinks fresh orange and goes to the gym that she’s basic and lacks depth, because as I say, that would be thick as shit

You know exactly who she and I am talking about. You don't need to pretend to be deeply offended, it's OK, this is a safe space.

I don't do anything on that list but its all on my aspiration mood board