Matcha, leggings with socks over, botox, yada yada yada

[Wheredidallthegoodonesgo]

So bored of it.

This is nearly every mum in my area, pilates & matcha, botox and handyman & cleaner recommendations. No depth, no real worries..basic.

Aibu to want to meet funny, down to earth mums with depth and interesting pasts and conversations?

I love my botox and pilates! judge me all you will but my pelvic floor is steel and my forehead gives no fucks.

I work with a mum like this it's so boring she just talks about the latest health food kick all day or fashion trend. She has no hobbies or interests. Just because her kids are the same age as mine she thinks we're meant to be besties but she bores me to death.

I prefer my mud covered horsey friends and my nerdy friends I play D&D with but none of them are mums. I don't feel the need for mum friends though, I just carry on with the friends I already had. I've never found a mum friend I have anything in common with other than having a toddler and who wants to talk about sleep regressions and toilet training all day?

Maybe give up on the idea of a stimulating group of mum friends and just carry on with the friends you already had for your interests and if you feel the need to talk about being a mum just accept it's going to be with other women who only want to talk about being a mum and don't expect the two groups to overlap.

@Wheredidallthegoodonesgo I get what you mean. It's not the matcha, pilates or botox per se; it's what it says about them all "obeying" in a sectlike manner to what a woman should do/like. I find it incredibly tedious. Rather keep my RBF and stay expressive and have a personality of my own.

Her hobbies and interests are fashion and health stuff, it’s not hard to understand! Honestly you’ve made her sound nicer than you, I’m sure she’s just fine without your friendship, just as you are without hers.

I am funny and have lots of depth and I also need recommendations for Botox and handymen

I’ve never had Botox and I think matcha tastes like moss but I did pull my adidas socks over my leggings this morning when I went to the gym (mainly because I like the horrified looks my 18 y.o DS gives me). I’ve also never had a cleaner but I do have an amazing plumber and joiner but I’m not prepared to share that info with you. You clearly live in the wrong area or your judgement is getting in the way of you forming friendships because all my mum friends are amazing funny interesting women (and some of them have had Botox and do Pilates - not sure any of them drink matcha though)

I wear socks over leggings at the gym. I think I might be safe from the friendship on offer here.

That was my thinking - I live in the rural south west and don't meet anyone (mum or not) like the OP describes!

They just sound rich, which I assume you are too if you’re associating with them.

They could be basic or you could just not yet know them well enough to access the more interesting sides to their personalities? I don’t know anyone like you describe so I couldn’t say.

I’m sure your Mum acquaintance finds your horse and D&D chat fascinating.

Sounds like me but I am actually interesting in my opinion 😂😂

Why does not having worries make you basic?

Are people not interesting unless they have worries?

I don’t need friends to have had an ‘interesting past’, especially if they’re going to insist on talking about it

I think you probably are too, I think we could be good friends because in my opinion I am also quite interesting 😂

Sounds like me. Love a bit of matcha, especially with a nice syrup.

I'd fit the description in your op but the truth is, I'm really private and tend to keep school gate conversations quite surface level - including nonsense like Pilates and handyman recommendations.

I don't generally speak to casual mum friends about the sex parties I've been to, my weird childhood, my favourite rock band that I have seen 12+ times, the book I'm writing. I'm blonde, have Botox and wear gym wear to pick up a lot - you wouldn't know anything about me based on how I look and I imagine it's the case for many of the women you're talking about.

Some people are private, some people don't 'wear' their personalities. Chatting about mundane stuff is actually a fairly normal way of communicating with acquaintances! It tends to be safer when you don't know somebody very well.

I do all those things.

I’m also a lawyer in the City, love reading historical non-fiction and will happily debate politics.

Just because someone wears leggings, gets Botox and has a cleaner, doesn’t mean they are shallow.

Your attempt to be the cool pick me girl really isn’t that cool.

How does the OP know? The matcha of course… so superficial! 😂 or may be the socks? Socks tell you loads about personality.

I have Botox, do yoga and love a matcha. I don’t have a cleaner. And I don’t think I would want you as a friend tbh.

That would drive me mad.

Are they genuinely all boring or are they just doing it to fit in?

I would try and find friends outside of your area.

I assume these are school mums?

What would drive you mad? You know nothing about these women and are judging them solely on how they look and what they drink…

Just concentrate on making friends through all those fascinating hobbies and interests you must have then? 🥱

A good handyman is damn hard to find. Matcha in the morning is wonderful. I like Pilates and have a reformer. Botox, you do you. Same with wardrobe.

She sounds fine. What's your beef? She doesn't drone on about drunken shenanigans or dudes you have no idea who they are she used to bang or she got stuck on top of a mountain? 🙄

Be present now.

Go blab on about Schopenhauer or Sparta or Les Annales or women's figure skating over on that street corner. People can like what they like.

Sounds like me too, I'll admit I'm pretty dull though. I could talk about the gym all day...I should probably get a second hobby

What’s wrong with drinking matcha and sharing recommendations?! You sound really judgemental.

I’m judging them based on what OP has said - that they’ve got no depth to them, aren’t down to earth, aren’t funny and can’t hold a decent conversation.