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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go without her?

132 replies

ThreeGirl · 27/04/2026 08:37

I booked a theatre trip next weekend with SD11. SD14 (who we rarely see and has never expressed an interest in theatre) is now upset she’s not going. DH has suggested I reschedule so she can come. AIBU not to?

OP posts:

Theysignoffquick · Yesterday 17:53

Wildefish · Yesterday 10:02

She’s not ignoring her. The teenager is ignoring the OP s messages, and has done she says for months. Yes, if my DD or SD was being rude when I message and not returning texts then I would not be running after them. If the SD wants to be included she needs to acknowledge messages at least most of the time.

Show quote history

Your advice is that the op “just ignores” her.

What do you mean in practise by that @Wildefish ?

Theysignoffquick · Yesterday 17:56

ThreeGirl · Yesterday 09:27

She has read my message and not replied. Apparently she’s told SD11 that she doesn’t want to go anymore.

I’m not surprised she doesn’t.

Are the other siblings you refer to also your step kids?

Wildefish · Yesterday 19:35

Theysignoffquick · Yesterday 17:53

Your advice is that the op “just ignores” her.

What do you mean in practise by that @Wildefish ?

Show quote history

I meant ignore the request over the tickets. The OP has already said that the. 14 yo does not answer or acknowledge text messages for months. I did not mean ignore her in general. Also, if my daughters were rude to their stepmother ( which they’re not) I would be very embarrassed. Anyway, my opinion, my old and expect manners.

Theysignoffquick · Yesterday 19:37

Ok that’s a relief. I read as “I would
just ignore her” as have nothing to do with this young teen

Wildefish · Today 10:38

ThreeGirl · Yesterday 10:58

If you see my earlier posts, we rewarded SD14 for her swimming achievements at SD11’s age too, and will be for her GCSE mocks.

I’d struggle to know what to reward her for right now because she doesn’t speak to me or spend time with me, so I don’t know what she’s up to. She’s still invited on all family events and gatherings, but declines.

Show quote history

Op I get it. You’re doing a great job snd people on here who have no idea what you may have done for your SD in the past. They are judging you on this one particular thing. Just keep doing what you are doing and hopefully when she is older you can try to rebuild a relationship, but only if she wants to.

IBlinkedAndBecameMiddleAged · Today 12:04

LocalHobo · 27/04/2026 10:16

I'd go ahead with the theatre trip but find something equally suitable for you to do with your elder SD. It would show you are hoping to have a better relationship with one on one time. If you invite her and she ignores you or declines, then that is her prerogative.

I agree. Say that you would love to arrange a similar trip for the two of you and that you can both pick something nice when you next see her.

Theysignoffquick · Today 14:10

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