AIBU to feel awkward about only my husband being invited to the wedding?

[Thewitchofwestminster]

I don't know to feel about it.

Both myself and my husband work in an office with 'Jane'. I have always thought we got on well together and we have become friends outside of the workplace, socialising together.

Jane is getting married in a few weeks and has invited my husband to her wedding but not myself. Husband was given an invitation with his name only on and when he queried he was told it was only for him.

If she had come to me and said it was because of costs or if she invited me she would have had to plus one others I would have understood but it is all just a bit weird!

My husband is attending and that is fair enough but it has left me feeling so awkward.

Would you invite just one spouse to a wedding?

Wow

I would never invite only half of a married couple, very bad etiquette.

That's strange. Rude, too. However, you could have a nice quiet time doing what you want to do while your DH attends.

Oops posted too soon.
Yes that’s very weird. If you worked in different places and she was inviting a group of office friends fair enough.
But this is really strange, better not to have invited either of you.

Its definitely unusual and I have to wonder why your dh is going?

Are they in the same team and you are not? I don’t subscribe to the having to invite a spouse to a wedding just because married or in a long term relationship - things are far too expensive and space often limited but this does seem odd unless she’s invited the team and you’re in another team in which case I find it fair enough. Also when he asked if it was just for him did she not say yes it is because…..??

I don't think I would attend a wedding if my DH wasn't invited, or vice versa- but we both love a wedding which isn't always the case on mumsnet. The evening do maybe, but seems strange to celebrate the uniting of one couple only to divide another. Obviously if it's a micro wedding then fair enough but if colleagues are invited presumably that's not the case.

That seems extremely and pointedly rude.
Tbh i would have thought your H would have turned down the invitation out of loyalty to you.
Do her and your H have history together?

Yeah, this is weird. I thought you were going to say only he knew them, but if you both know and socialise with her it's odd for only him to be invited.

I think inviting one spouse is ok if you dont really know one party. My husband went to a wedding of a school friend who I dont really know and I wasnt offended at all. My best friend had a micro wedding with only immediate family and bridesmaids so no husbands/ partners etc were invited. This situation sounds really odd though. Is he especially good friends with her outside of work? Or is he maybe in her immediate team and you are not? How many other people from work are going? I think he should have said no!

Strange that your husband is choosing to go…

I also think its odd your husband is going, unless they are on the same team and she only invited people from the team, but still I would probably not go in his shoes as its odd.

I don’t generally think that you need to invite both people in a couple - if you invite a group of work friends, I wouldn’t think you needed to invite spouses.
But when you know both people, I think it’s very weird and rude.

This specific situation is very odd. Plenty of good reasons not to invite a random spouse but this one is strange.

So you and your DH both socialise with her out of work but only he has been invited to her wedding? I think she is being pretty rude and I'm surprised that your husband accepted the invitation. Have other colleagues been invited?

That’s weird. It’s even weirder that he’s going. Dh would have declined because it’s so odd and rude.

How rude and ignorant of her.

How disloyal and downright weird of your husband to accept.

This is my question too - is she perhaps inviting her whole team without partners, of which your DH is part of but you are not?
If not, agree that this is odd and baffling.

We are all the same small team.
My husband is the only one from our team invited apart from his boss and the bosses wife but only myself and my husband socialise outside of work with Jane.
No history as far as I know.
The venue is large.

One spouse to a wedding-absolutely, if s/he's invited as part of a friendship/hobby/work group.

The fact you work with her too is really weird and awkward, even more so the fact that your husband is attending!

Did he say why he's attending?

It’s a bit weird and rude. And I can’t believe your DH is going!

Has your H said why he thinks it's appropriate to go to this wedding OP?
Does he not recognise what an unpleasant snub this is to you?

It isn't something I'd do. But I've known of people invite colleagues as a group. Is he maybe amongst a group of workmates who are close or socialise together?

Is DH friends with the groom, as it may be he is included with the numbers for the groom’s friends and family whereas she may have reached her limit of friends.

As far as I’m concerned if someone’s married you invite them as a couple or you just don’t, end of. I’m shocked your dh is considering going- how rude.