AIBU for making a harsh comment to DH about our sex life?

[HungryJ]

DH and I have had issues with our sex life for a while now and I have to admit I resent him for it. He keeps promising to try and improve things but this lasts a couple of days at most.

We had yet another argument this morning, and were shopping this afternoon. On the way back to the car, a man passed us in a vest who’d clearly been to the gym.

DH made a sarky comment to me when we sat in the car about my eyeing him up.

I replied ‘yeah, need to make sure I remember him for when I use my toy tomorrow when you’re working’.

DH snapped that I was out of order. I told him I stand by what I said. I’m just feeling so fed up.

This is a joke, right?

Question. Why would any woman post this stuff about themself.

Answer. They wouldn't.

If this were a man posting there would be outrage.

I hope this is a made up thread. Poor bloke if not.

Hopefully. I feel sorry for the husband if this really is his wife.

Don't be. The poster is posting all sorts of bitchy comments on other threads, so she's either having a really fucking awful day / life or she has a waspish personality.

I don’t think your comment is going to make him want more sex.

You need to discuss the issue in a calmer way.

The more I read from the OP the more I think this man needs saving. I have single friends.

You were so nasty on that thread about the woman shouted at at her new job, if that’s typical of your personality I’m surprised he wants to have sex with you at all. Oh and YABU on this thread too.

Read the thread

There is

Wow, do you even like your DH?!

Sex once a week is a decent amount but I get it's not enough for you. However, making the comment you did was cruel. Just imagine how you'd feel if things were the other way round, feeling under pressure to perform and then baited by your partner when you didn't.

If multiple times-a-week-sex is that important to you, maybe the marriage should end.

You sound awful! A really nasty person.

I hope he leaves you and your salary and you can fuck yourself at home alone.

Indeed. Imagine if this was reversed sexes? It would be absolutely unanimous that you’re abusive and to call women’s aid. Probably with a ‘are you safe?’

I think some people are being overly harsh to the OP. While it was a bitchy comment, he did start it by making a comment about the bloke in the first place.

Unless you’ve been in a sexless marriage, you have no idea how it can eat away at you. I think it’s more about being unwanted and undesired than the lack of sex itself actually. As a woman you feel humiliated and it’s easy to lose self esteem if the man you’re with isn’t arsed about being with you.

People will say ‘just leave’ but with an issue like this it’s not always easy to just leave when you have built a life with a person - a home, shared finances, possibly family too. You don’t hear of many marriages breaking up just because one doesn’t want to have sex - although that may be the trigger for affairs which then cause the marriage to end. I’m not saying that’s right, but sometimes it’s easier to leave over something big and irreversible like that, than it is over à lack of sex. Usually people just learn to live with it with quiet resentment, until you get to an age or a point where it doesn’t matter anymore.

You were a total dick.
HTH.

That was out of order.

Wow, from this exchange and your replies on this thread, you sound pretty horrid.

You were horrible and out of order OP, and nobody should be pressured or mithered into sex. Hopefully he finds a way to leave you if this is how you treat him.

So you hold all the power in the relationship, except for this one thing....
Maybe that's why his interest in sex has disappeared?
I don't mean necessarily to punish you (though it could be that)
I mean because he feels powerless and it has sapped his confidence

That’s a gross comment. Especially when your sex life isn’t that infrequent

Sounds very tempting tbh.

Well, if he starts off with a sarcastic comment, he can not be shocked if he gets one back.

Sorry having troubles OP, hope you can both work things out together. Are there reasons, stress, work, tiredness why he's not putting the effort in? Maybe look at the cause(s) and will find something you can both work towards improving. You'll only get a better outcome if work as a team tbh.

Once a week isn’t sexless. And he didn’t ’start it’, she was the one eyeing up the guy while with her DP!

Totally agree.

How spiteful of you. I’d hate to be in a relationship like yours. What is the point?

I mean it was a bit harsh, but if he started with the sarky comment, then he probably deserved a clap back.