AIBU for making a harsh comment to DH about our sex life?

[HungryJ]

DH and I have had issues with our sex life for a while now and I have to admit I resent him for it. He keeps promising to try and improve things but this lasts a couple of days at most.

We had yet another argument this morning, and were shopping this afternoon. On the way back to the car, a man passed us in a vest who’d clearly been to the gym.

DH made a sarky comment to me when we sat in the car about my eyeing him up.

I replied ‘yeah, need to make sure I remember him for when I use my toy tomorrow when you’re working’.

DH snapped that I was out of order. I told him I stand by what I said. I’m just feeling so fed up.

That was a bit harsh op. That’s not going to help really.

What are the issues you’re having?
Without more info then I think you shouldn’t have said that. It was hurtful and I wouldn’t like if my Dh said it to me. But I need more info I think.

Yes that was hurtful and disrespectful and if a man said that to a woman we'd never hear the end of it.

He can never be bothered to have it, once a week if I’m lucky and only if I instigate.

It doesn’t sound like you like each other so sex isn’t going to be easy

Ewww That’s a gross comment.

Once a week seems reasonable.

How often would you like?

DH made a sarky comment to me when we sat in the car about my eyeing him up.

is he 12? Has he been horrendously disfigured in an accident? or is it that he let himself go and projecting his insecurities via "sarky" comments and put downs that cause arguments?

If he is going to throw out sarcastic comments then he needs to be prepared for an equivalent response.

Agree. The writing is on the wall in a relationship when you’re casually throwing around mean comments.

Once a week doesn’t seem too bad to me. How long have you been together? If my DH said something like that to me I’d be extremely upset so I can see why he’s pissed off - and if he’s pissed off he is even more unlikely to want sex, so that was an own goal really.

This.

If my husband made a comment like yours it would be really hurtful and would make me less likely, not more likely, to want to have sex with him.

Yeah girl, its time to get your ducks in a row

Life is too short for no sex, honestly x

My DH would be over the moon with once a week! It was a mean comment and would put me off sex with that person tbh.

Good for him. Doesn’t mean we all have such low expectations.

No one is owed sex.

So, that makes it OK for you to have made that comment? Did it help your situation? At this point, I wouldn't blame him for leaving you. If you were so nasty, that easily...it makes me wonder why he won't sleep with you more often. What else have you done to beat his confidence into the ground?

So you’re having sex weekly despite being this mean to him? Try being nicer and you might get a bit more. Or not, he’s allowed to not want it and you’re allowed to leave.

Shudder

Grotty marriage circling the drain

Cherry on top will be that there were 3 kids in the back of the car at the time

Does he have any other redeeming features that you married him for, or was it just his cock that attracted you to him?

He won’t leave me. He’ll be in all sorts of trouble without my salary.

No - disagree - he doesn’t have low expectations - we love and respect each other. Your DH probably has low self-esteem, putting up with such mean digs though.

Yes. You are very cruel. You have mismatched sex drives, you are a sex pest to him, either accept him or leave, don’t be a cruel sex pest.

She’s allowed to be cruel though because she brings in the money!

Wow, what a bitchy comment. Can you imagine if a man said “yeah, I’ll remember her for when I’m having a wank later”. Everyone on here would be LTB.
you clearly have different needs. But saying stuff like that to him is hardly going to turn him on for you! You’re pushing him away.

Oof. So unattractive knowing that he puts up with you for the big salary. You both deserve each other.

Imagine all the threads that will have been made about the Op from colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances!!