AIBU or is this not 100% my fault? *Warning - involves sex and a bit graphic /gross*

[CoffeeDate22]

I’m with a relatively new partner , about 8 months in to dating and things having been going pretty well. I’m late 20s, he’s late 30s. I have a history of sexual assault which he knows about. Something happened which made me uncomfortable and I’m looking for some perspective?

We’d been out for drinks and I was pretty pissed. I’ve had some family bad news recently and I was a bit emotional and drank a bit too much wine but not completely out of it.

When we got back to his flat we started having sex. I remember I was pretty messy, staggering about but I still consented and wanted to do it. I started to give him oral sex and during this he suddenly pushed my head and made it (sorry) go too far in and made me gag. I threw up … on him.

I was extremely apologetic but he made me feel really awful and like it was totally disgusting. I get it’s not nice but he pushed my head down! And I was really drunk. I ended up apologising so much and basically grovelling for him to give me a cuddle that night when we went to bed. The next day he was still saying I can’t believe you did that it’s so gross.

I don’t know. I feel upset and strange about it. AIBU?

His fault!

He is the gross one!

Choking a woman in oral is common in porn.

LTB.

Sending a 🫂

I'm not a woman, but holding someone's head during oral sex is a massive NO unless you ask if it's ok and they clearly stop what they're doing to say 'yes.' What did the idiot expect to happen apart from she's going to vomit? It's ludicrous behaviour. Any man telling her 'it's your fault' isn't old enough to be having sex with anyone.

Fuck him off now - you never push someone's head down and he knows what you have been through - fucking bastard.

He's horrendous. Unless you have actively told him you enjoy him doing that, he should not be doing it.

I suspect it's potentially dangerous too, though I am no medical expert. And very unpleasant/painful/scary if you aren't expecting it and don't want it.

And even if you asked him to to do it, he still ought to be aware that vomiting is a potential outcome when you forcibly trigger someone's gag reflex like that.

Just seen this is a zombie thread - sorry.

Darling, you did nothing wrong.

Again, another man that’s watched too much porn and thinks women enjoy this sort of behaviour