Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

What is the point of asking for their opinion if it isn’t going to be taken into account?
Surely you mean compromise?
And the people who didn’t compromise here were the parents who, other than eating dinner, finished every day at 2pm.
The kid did ALL the compromising.
It wasn’t an OAP trip. It was supposed to be a family holiday.

at 11 they should be able to amuse themselves for a couple of hours...bit ridiculous parents are expected to provide 24/7 entertainment for a child that can read, walk and talk.

Absolutely wholesome and she will be better with them next time. And it’s great that there is an option for everyone to be happy.

I just don’t get why the op is having such a hard time

Siesta is a very common word to use. It’s a sad day when we can’t use an inoffensive word like siesta because it’s making someone tweak.

Have you never said Ooh La La in your life if someone has said something risque? Or Bon Appetit? Or Salut?

It's not hard to understand that most people in this situation upon finding out their child hadn't enjoyed spending hours alone in a hotel room would try hard to rectify the problem on the next trip away. Not just leave their child behind because that was easier than compromising and making the experience enjoyable for everyone?

No. Granted, the OP shouldn’t have asked for her opinion but now at least everyone knows the compromise is staying with her grandparents.

But the child is happy with the grandparents and the op and her partner will be able to holiday however they like. Nobody has to miss out on anything for the sake of anyone else

So what are the sort of holidays you have or had with your children? Have you ever had to negotiate the adults sleeping when your child is not sleepy? What worked for you?

That's because there's no alternative being offered? I'm sure she would genuinely much prefer to go away but ai suspect it suits the op and her partner to think the 11 year old would prefer to be with Granny.

Or the parents could learn that a family holiday involves more than just letting their kid tag along with them.

You’d almost have to wonder how companies such as Eurocamp and Canvas continue to exist…..

Actually, the OP did say that they went out in the morning, but they had an afternoon nap every single day, which presumably they had to get back for, which takes time.

Also I didn’t say they don’t do anything in the evening. I said that if they have a nap in the afternoon, perhaps they don’t have time to do anything else BEFORE the evening, in other words what she thinks of as a two hour nap could actually impact what they do for the entire afternoon. And the OP said this was every single day.

Makes more sense now?

But it seems the dd’s choices are either enduring her parent’s overriding need for siestas or go to granny’s. what happened to the parents wanting to improve the family holiday situation?

Exactly what my parents did. I read for a couple of hours a day - from the age of 8. Boredom teaches children creativity and resilience. More patients should try it.

But presumably you knew that when you booked?

I can see the 11yos point. I'd have thought the same at 11, had I been her. At that age, kids want action-packed, exciting holidays. The whole day grinding to a halt for 2 hours, in the middle/best part of the day (in their eyes), must have seemed utterly bizarre to an 11yo.

Yes, an 11yo should be able to entertain themselves alone for 2 hours, but stuck in an apartment abroad... She's probably thinking, "I could just as well do this at home, and I'd have all my stuff with me."

And while it's "not all about her", I can wholeheartedly see why she was annoyed.

I WAS that child. And I didn’t expect the world to revolve round me

It doesn’t appear to have benefitted you though. I don’t get the impression you empathise with children on any level. Just my take of course.

She isn't expecting the world to revolve around her either? She clearly knows the situation isn't going to be one her mum will compromise on, so she's maturely said she will stay at home with her gran who wants to spend time with her.

It's the very opposite of wanting the world to revolve around her really.

That was pretty boring for her. 30 mins nap is one thing, 2 hours a is a lot!

I'd be saying I didn't want to go on holiday again too.

Or they are independent because they have to be and are frequently ignored by their parents who prioritise what they want to do without regards to their bored kid who has to tag along.

I wouldn't be happy if had to be stuck in a hotel room pretty much all afternoon every day of my holiday without entertainment. Books are fine, but what if you don't want to read and aren't allowed to leave the room on your own? She has lost a good proportion of the day doing nothing and won't have been able to do day trips anywhere because her parents want to come back and sleep.

My parents did too but not for two hours. That is pretty extreme.

OP maybe next time you should try a city break.

We Once went overnight on a ferry to France with a berth. The kids slept all night and we didn’t. When we got to the other end, which was not far from the Ferry terminal, my husband and I took it in turns to look after the children while the other one slept.

Girl, what? I have MS and I’m more tired and sensitive to heat than you could ever hope to be, and even I’m not out here scheduling a daily two-hour nap. Like… I’m assuming you’re in Spain? Because even during peak Chicago summers (which are easily hotter than Spain right now), people aren’t just clocking out of parenting every afternoon. That’s not a “quick rest,” that’s a scheduled disappearance—and the fact your kid remembers it as the defining feature of the trip kind of says everything. If your vacation highlight reel is you being unconscious for two hours a day, I don’t think the weather is the issue.

That's the thing, you work around these things. A holiday is meant to be enjoyable it’s not meant to be a boredom bootcamp for children. Of course there are times when the heat makes you tired, but a rigid 2 hour nap every day when you have one child with you is just self indulgent. It’s not even like they have a sibling there.

With what?

You seem quite rigid in putting the blame on an 11 yr old girl for this specific situation not working. You give the impression its failure is all on an 11 yr old with no culpability to the parents. Is there a reason for that?