Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

In the context of the thread I take it back. DC have lots of down time on our holidays and it all feels very relaxed and everyone happy. This does sound different and like her needs and interests weren’t factored in at all.

Why did you need to relax on the balcony if just had a 2hr nap

and dd to go to pool on her own 😢

sure she would have loved you to go in the pool with her or even just sit by pool relaxing

why relax in hotel room ?

I'm sure she'd be fine doing art and going for a walk at home. But would an 11 yr old really go wandering around in an unfamiliar place by themselves for two hours every day? And did she have access to lots of art materials in a holiday appartment? Probably not?So that leaves reading. For two hours every day. Probably not a fun holiday for many 11 yr olds.

13 hours a day in the room/in bed while on holiday does sound pretty shit to be fair- your DD has a point

When she’s old enough to plan and pay for a holiday, she can do what she wants. In the meantime she really should be able to entertain herself for two hours a day.

Couldn’t you just sit in the shade near the pool so she could swim? Sounds totally bizarre to me. When our kids were little they would sleep for an hour or so on a lounger in the shade, we didn’t even see the need to be in the room, seems a waste of the holiday to me. I really don’t get the need to sleep for 2 hours in the day as an adult.

Entertain herself with what? She had a couple of books and that was it. She is not in her own home, with her own things. OP has already said the TV was foreign so unwatchable. Its not like she can go on Netflix for a couple of hours. How boring for her to be sat just with a book, on her own, in a strange place for 2 hours every day of the holiday. No wonder she doesn't want to go again.

And my parents in the 90's didn't leave us kids on our own. We spent the whole day doing stuff together, as a family. Visiting places, playing in the pool, playing games and cards, listening to music and enjoying each others company.

No, in no way at all us 11 a tiny child.

they're no longer even a young child at 11.theyre more than half way through their childhood

If it was that bad she could have bought herself something to entertain herself like a puzzle book, magazine etc. No point in complaining afterwards

OP if you only went downstairs for 6, it sounds like your poor daughter had literally nothing to do every afternoon.
No 11 year old in the world does a siesta. Your approach to holidays does sound really selfish. Having 1 afternoon nap at the end of the week is fair enough but expecting her to entertain herself every afternoon is rather nuts.

The day is neaty divided into 2 parts for a reason. Morning = activity like beach etc. Afternoon = activity like museum, aquarium or something else indoors outnof the worst of the heat. You can't take your daughter on a couple's type of holiday and be surprised if she thought it was bad.

It's not complaining to answer honestly that you found something boring.

This sounds like a very short day in terms of hours awake. I would be bored, as would any of my kids. This sounds like a very lonely and dull routine for anybody. Couldn't you include your 11 year old in the planning for next time?

I think the issue is that she didn’t get the afternoon but also you were still
coming in quite early. So maybe she literally wasn’t tired to need to sleep in the day.

Also she spent time in the pool while you watched her from the balcony. So she was on her own a lot. That must’ve felt pretty lonely tbf.

We are a family of three. At that age; our holidays would’ve been all about her. We were having fun if she was. From about 14 she brought a friend.

Sorry but I can see why she was bored. She might have been lonely. She was on her own a lot. Being somewhere warm with a pool isn’t compensation for that, especially as the fact it was warm is why she was on her own for 2 hours a day.

Maybe she didn't know that her parents were going to sod off every day for 2 hours and leave her entertaining herself?

Even I would hate being forced to sit and read indoors for 2 hours everyday while there was a pool outside and the sun was shining. Let alone a kid.

Children in the 70s and 80s managed to entertain themselves without supervision on holiday (without the benefit of Netflix etc). But at least it will be easier for you to have your holiday without her whining about being bored

How is she whining? She was asked if she enjoyed herself and she said no. She’s just being honest and a lot of people can understand why.

Exactly - 11 yo is the age they should be able to find stuff to do independently, presumably she is close to starting secondary school so shouldn’t need to be entertained 24/7

That’s fine - she doesn’t have to endure it again.

When someone has taken you on holiday then the least you can do is be grateful

Just because that might have been the case, doesn't make it right. Most of them managed to get themselves into mischief when left alone. And there is a difference being in the UK on a caravan holiday to being abroad in an apartment or Hotel when you can't go out and do stuff by yourself without supervision. So her only option is being sat inside with a sodding book. I would be bored out of my brains now as an adult, let alone being a child.

Get themselves into mischief at 11?

If she’s an only child then surely she’s used to entertaining herself? The only issue I can see is if she ran out of reading

Sorry but how is she asking to be entertained 24/7?
3 people go on holiday. 2 are adults, one is 11.
For 2 hours every day, the two adults shut themselves in a different room.
As the third person is 11; they can’t go off and do as they wish (as another adult could do) so they have to sit inside and amuse themselves, presumably while listening to other children have fun.
They don’t kick off about it at the time (or at least not enough to change the behaviour of the adults involved) but after the holiday, when asked by these adults if they enjoyed it, they said no and said why.
Sorry; what has this kid done wrong? How is she spoilt, entitled, as some have said? How could she be more independent??

How was she not grateful?
Clearly she just put up with it during the day, or she was not openly upset about it enough for it to affect the behaviour of the adults involved at the time.
After the holiday she was asked by adults who she presumably loves and trusts as they are her parents if she enjoyed herself. She said no and when asked said why.
Are we going to teach this 11 year old girl to never express how she feels??

No they're not, but her grandmother seems to have figured her out. You could have taken it in turns to sleep - if you absolutely had to, so that she had company and something to do. You say she likes puzzles, walks etc, might have been an idea to bring a cheap one that you were happy to leave behind. It's okay for children to be bored sometimes or not to have thoroughly enjoyed a holiday, but this was avoidable. I get it. As an older single mum to one child - DS, holidays were rarely relaxing. I was exhausted and coupled with the hot weather it was tough, but you suck it up. Many times I wanted to just chill with my book, but I needed to keep him entertained, keep and eye on him (he was 4-9 years for our holidays). I would have been really upset if holidaying with me had been so crap that he would prefer to stay home with a relative. Also even only children enjoy company. Being left alone for 2 hours every day, and only really doing anything in the morning, sounds dull. She doesn't sound ungrateful, she was asked a question and gave an honest answer. Ask her what she would like to do next time, or what she would change about the holiday if you did go again - then take it from there.

Why compare to Just 50 years ago. Why not 100 years ago and just make the kid give up school and just go to work?

Times evolve.

I can assure you that as an only child myself who was extremely good at entertaining herself and loved reading, being left by myself in a hotel room for 2 hours per day would’ve bored the shit out of me on holiday.