Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

To me it's not about her being able to entertain herself-she can & did.

For a lot of kids that's a necessity whilst parents are otherwise busy.

I wouldn't expect it to be happening religiously on a holiday though.

Poor kid, no wonder she had a shit time. Her memories of that holiday will always be mum and dad heading off to bed every day. Wouldn’t blame her if she never wants to go with you again.

Letting a child chill with the TV on or a book in the afternoon after a day trip doesn’t sound awful to me. Then presumably you’re all up a bit later having dinner etc.

(I don’t have an 11 year old though - my kid is younger, so freely admit I might be wrong!)

Isn’t a bit boredom supposed to be quite good for kids, rather than constant entertainment provided by others?

I don’t think you were being super unreasonable but now she has mentioned it perhaps talk about how things could be different next time: shorter naps (or not every day), get her some activities she loves, or consider a holiday with kids club or activities. Or go with another family with kids.

Well yes because they would presumably be an adult and therefore told to go out and entertain themselves...you seem to have missed the fact this child couldn't do that.

It sounds like she spent most of the holiday in the hotel given the ops update on what they did daily.

If that adult then said -while she napped my friend took away all my devices and any other sources of entertainment and told me to read books for the two hours while she slept, and then force me to have dinner at 5 every day and be in bed by 9 … I think there would be more sympathy:)

Once or twice but not everyday. It is boring and the horrible feeling as you approach that two hour period.

Grown adults cant do that so not really comparable.

Also, if you read the posts by the OP her daughter likes reading, chooses to do it herself and isnt into devices.

Also, where does she say she was forced to go to bed at 9? she said they returned to the room at 9, not that she was forced into bed 🤣

Thing is, even for adults, there’s something really irritating about having to wait for someone to wake up before you can get on with the day. I defy anyone to be ok with it when it’s not a one-off.

Maybe the poor kid was looking forward to more time with her parents. While sheltering from the sun for two hours every day the parents could have chatted, played games or read a book with their child. They could have even taken turns if two hours were beyond him.

Rotten parenting. Why do people have kids then treat them like this? She must've dreaded every afternoon the whole holiday.

It sounds like you took a child for an adults holiday, of course it was rubbish for her.
You should have swapped over to stay with her or gone somewhere with a kids club and plenty of activities.
We often do go to the room if its hot around mid day on holiday, but wouldn't jist actually both go for a sleep and leave them to it.
Look at holidays with clubs and activities your child can do next time. We choose holidays where there are plenty of things, kids games rooms, activities , clubs and plan our holiday with our kids to ensure we all have a good time.

Why didn’t you both just take turns sleeping , you sound really thick.

She’ll 11 not 5. She could entertain herself for a couple of hours. Had a nap herself, watch a bit of telly, read. Parents don’t need to be entertainment 24/7. This is why parenting now is so stressful, need to take a leaf out of our 90s parents. They probably spent 2 hours with their kids on holidays per day max. My advice would be look at a holiday next year that has activities she can do on her own, surfing classes or something so she is entertained and you get to chill out a bit.

OP you don’t sound like someone who wanted to be a parent unfortunately. I’m glad your daughter has a loving attentive grandmother.

When we're on holiday and we fancy a nap in the late afternoon it will be for half hr to an hour when ds will watch something on the tablet or tv.2 hours is ridiculously excessive.

Dinner at 5 pm isn't very late.

Treat them like what? She's 11 not 2

I said I didn't see a problem with it thinking you meant a nap later in the afternoon around 5/6 previously but sorry op, that sounds absolutely shit. Your day was over by 2pm? That's like the routine of a young child you're sticking to. Why are you basically ending the day at 2pm, why are you going for dinner and then to the room so early? It sounds utterly boring and I'm totally on her side now actually. My kids would be raging if we did that.

Abandon them for two hours in the middle of the day in the house. The child's stuck in a building in the middle of the afternoon. Lucky her...

A reasonable point ruined by being so rudely phrased.

I’m guessing your DH isn’t her dad as you said “my” rather than “our” DD. So you two disappearing off for two hours at a time every day maybe feels like more of an abandonment than it otherwise would. I would probably have brought some films on an iPad or picked a resort where she could have sat out or gone to the pool area rather than being cooped up in the hotel. I’m a fan of naps but sleeping for two hours in the afternoon is a bit excessive.

Yes but you need to get up and get ready first. You don't just magically transport yourself to the breakfast room, all dressed & ready. In all the hotels I've been to they start taking the food away & closing the coffee machines around 9.30. So you don't really want to be going down to breakfast any later than about 8.45. Nobody wants to be rushing at mealtimes

I mean it's not social services level of neglect, but...

Oh no she's so hard done by. They are doing things for her in the morning and evening and just want a couple of hours for them to relax

Why do people make so many assumptions??

yes we were sleeping for the whole siesta and DD was in the living room during that time, when she went to the pool by herself it was whilst we were up but just relaxing on the balcony where I could see her.

I also never once said we were in Spain. Entertainment started around 6 and sometimes incorporated dinner. So we “went down” for dinner but didn’t necessarily eat immediately