Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

Her grandma is old school, there is no spoiling but she does all the stuff she did when she was young so they do baking, go for walks picking berries, do puzzles, knit etc. most kids would think that was boring - I think DD was born in the wrong century 😂

I wouldn't want my 11 year old walking in a foreign place - especially not when everyone else was avoiding the sun and heat.

Think of Michael Moseley.

The heat is some of these countries is real. It is perfectly reasonable to take a siesta - especially when on holiday. Shops close, locals do it. Only fools and Englishmen go out in the noon day sun is the saying.

I just think the DD might have been allowed a device to watch a movie and chill given it was a holiday and she was left alone. Other than that, it sounds fine op.

I don’t know where you were , but if it was so hot that you really needed to be indoors resting for at least 2 hours then that’s understandable, but she probably did find that boring .
At home she could probably entertain herself because she has all her stuff / resources .

Maybe next time she can invite a friend along for company ?
Or you take turns being with her playing games / cards whatever while the other one has a nap then switch ?
Or have a holiday somewhere less hot 🥵

because its a routine they are used to and are in their own homes surrounded by their own stuff.

All day it was 2 hours.

Go for a walk in a foreign unfamiliar country?

My 11 yo would of been fine with this if she had screen time unrestricted during that time

Hideous.

Poor kid.

I can't fathom why you thought it was okay to leave her alone for 2 hours. No wonder she wants to stay with Grandma next time. She sounds much more fun.

But the little girl did survive, she didn’t make any fuss and even said that the holiday was ok.
she was also able to express that in general she didn’t enjoy the holiday - there is nothing wrong with it , if anything it’s healthy that she feels safe and confident enough to express her feelings. She was asked if she enjoyed it and she said not really.

Do you both have medical conditions that make you tired so easily?
It's not as if you were burning the candle at both ends, and surely it wasn't that hot if you were in Spain/The Canaries recently?

Dinner at 5 is terribly early.

Would your DD have preferred to be at the pool instead of staing indoors being bored? Could you not have rested on a sunbed in the shade?

Except OP has said she only had books.

DS1 would have read for 2hrs quite happily at 11, but he was the anomaly in his peer group. Your average modern 11 year old doesn't regularly spend 2hrs at a time reading. And your average 11 year old doesn't take a relaxing bath or shower to entertain themselves either, jeez 😂

So generally our days were up around 8ish, down for breakfast then activities in the morning were pool, markets, beach etc
back to hotel at 2ish, slept until 4 then down for dinner around 5ish.
Evening entertainment every evening then back to room around 9pm

So let’s say you all get to bed at 10. That’s 10 hours sleep a night and then 2 hours nap every day? 12 hours sleep? Plus another couple of hours in the room getting ready before and after your various sleeps.

So only out of the room for 8.30-2 and 5-9. Rest of the time is in the room with no TV and no friends or siblings. I can see this would be quite lonely for her.

It also just seems like a hell of a lot of sleep. Do you have exhausting long hours jobs when you’re at home so you need to catch up on sleep on holiday? Are either of you unwell?

This. I really don't see what the big deal is and what's so terrible for a child to be "bored" for a few hours a day. Its not a bad thing for a child at 11 to learn that every waking minute can't be dedicated to entertaining them and that other peoples needs and interests matter too.

I remember spending good deals of my holidays bored out my brain and that was even with siblings my own age. It's part of life. She'll be fine.

Go for a walk? on her own , in a strange country?
Play a game? who with ?
Watch Tv? No English channels* *
Read a book? OK - but for 2 hours a day every day?

If there's no English tv and she's not allowed a phone or tablet and her parents are too selfish to play a game with her, then it's no wonder she's bored.

Listen it probably isn't about the holiday, which sounds totally fine btw. She's 11 which s a notoriously tricky age. Is she gloomy generally right now?

But a couple of things do stand out to me. She doesn't have a friend close enough to take on holiday and she wouldn't go to kids club - if she's an only child is it possible she's very lonely? Do you have extended family or family friends you could plan a holiday with? It could be camping or a few nights hotel break in the UK. My lo loves that.

The other thing that strikes me as weird is that you didn't realise she was unhappy. When you were in bed would she not have come in T any stage for a cuddle or a chat?

It seems like a nice holiday to me and must have cost a fair bit. Perhaps the 2 hours every day was a bit much on reflection.

Maybe daughter has learnt something along the way. You do your best.

Well it sounds boring for an 11 year old to be stuck inside while you sleep for 2 hours every day.

Surely on holiday you get enough sleep in the morning to have enough energy during the day?

Or if you needed that amount of additional rest you should have checked that there were kids clubs or activities that your daughter could do under supervision while you just slept your holiday away...

We always do. Our hand luggage is always full of books and puzzle books for the aeroplane as they get bored otherwise. And then more in the suitcase. Books we always put about 5 each in our handluggage as they weigh loads.
We then put games and art stuff in the suitcase.

What a tiny day.

Basically a couple of hours of interesting stuff in the morning, but the rest of the day is pretty much a dead loss. Then bed at 9!

You know that most people having siestas then make up for it with a long evening, out until midnight etc. No Spaniard has dinner at 5 or puts themselves to bed at 9!!

Only the British and German tourists, who then turn up lobster-red and peeling at dinner and looking very out of place.

Retreating from the worst of the sun is normal for those who spend a lot of time in these countries and understand the lifestyle and weather. OK, it might be reading under the shade of a tree rather than going to bed, but you won't find many locals choosing the middle of the day to go for a dip.

So are all those berating the kid saying they would be fine being holed up in a hotel room for two hours every day of their holiday imposed by someone else, not you? Not your choice to be doing that, but you wouldn’t in any way voice a negative opinion about it?

The replies on here are mental! My kids are 12 & 17 and look forward to that time of the day when we all go back to our rooms and chill out in the air con. An 11 year old is perfectly capable of entertaining themselves or being bored for a couple of hours, that could be reading, tv or iPad time. Everyone just relaxes its perfectly normal and she needs
to know you aren’t just there to provide 24hr entertainment for her. You didn’t do anything wrong op, she needs to learn to be bored it’s not a bad thing.

Easy spent two hours reading, Playing patience, drawing, puzzles, colouring.

Do people really think that an 11 year old can't entertain themself for 2 hours? Really? Do parents have to spend every moment of the day providing that?

While I completely agree that an 11 year old can be bored and find their own entertainment, you made it so your day essentially stopped at lunchtime. It’s very reasonable to stay out of the sun in the middle of the day. Have your nap, fine, but make it shorter and go for a swim before dinner. Or a potter to a local supermarket (we love sampling unusual crisps on holiday!). What’s with dinner at 5?

I’m an only child and our family holidays could be on the boring side because my parents sometimes forgot a child wasn’t the same as an adult, but even they weren’t as tedious-sounding as yours!