Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

I’m an only child and my parents always fell asleep in the later afternoons on holiday. It was tedious as fuck. I used to be an avid reader though, so I’d just read or listen to my Walkman (I’m ageing myself there).

As an only child, I would say the pre-teen years were the worse for being on holiday with parents and nobody else. I was too old to just want my parents company and too young to take a walk out by myself/do anything alone, and also too young to fully appreciate the places/countries I was being shown (that maturity came in mid teens).

When I decided to have children I always said that if I only had one the only thing I would change is that I would make sure we went on holidays with other families so the child had company. Does she have a friend who could come with her? Can you go on a joint trip with another family? I think this is something you need to consider quite seriously as it did make holidays lonely and boring for years.

I grew up spending summers in Ibiza as had family there and often my parents and my siblings would go and take a siesta in the afternoon. I am not one for afternoon sleeping and would spend the time watching kids tv I mostly couldn't understand because it was in Spanish, reading Enid Blyton books from the 60's because that was all that was there unless I took my own, poking around in the garden, playing in the pool, basically whatever I could do to occupy myself, it really was not a big deal and kids have so much more to entertain themselves with now than I did in the 90's. Every child is different though and my children would probably complain if I did this now but they're younger, I think you will have to re-assure her you're not going to be taking long sleeps in the afternoon if you want to go on a family holiday.

I can't believe 2 adults actually sleep 2 hours during the day. There must have been som shagging at the very least. Is your dh her biological dad?

I like your dd's attitude, she knows her mind.

And why do you call it siesta @Personil are you Spanish? If not it's cultural appropriation.

Next time don't travel to a hot country if you are struggling with the heat.

tiny child !?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Cultural appropriation...you absolute drama queen. Total exaggeration.

If she had a phone/tablet/books/TV/art supplies maybe, any one of these things she should have easily been able to pass 2hrs. Kids these days are spoilt compared to us 90s kids, no tech for us just shitty subtitled runs of Last of the Summer Wine and I never complained!

You're expecting an 11 year old to think like an adult, which clearly they don't. They think like 11 year old children, because that's what they are. An 11 year old's brain isn't mature enough to think through that for themselves and reach a balanced perspective, much less for it to occur to them to be grateful. They need an adult to support them with that process.

"Yes, I get that it was a bit boring in the afternoons because we needed to sleep. Do you remember going to the zoo that morning though and seeing the monkeys? That was fun wasn't it? And what about when we went to the waterpark and you went on the biggest slide? Oh and look, this photo of us with those huge ice creams just came up in my memories today!"

"You know Katie, lots of kids don't get to go on holidays at all because their families don't have enough money to go on a plane and stay in a hotel and do all those things like the zoo and the waterpark So I think maybe we're quite lucky to be able to go on holiday in the sun at Easter instead of being stuck at home in the cold. What do you think?

@Personil Why go on holiday to just sleep and leave your kids alone ? Very very selfish .
Why not book Iceland instead ?

My parents did similar whilst we were growing up and I felt the same - was so boring and ruined the holidays!

Sorry, but YABU. Holidays as an only child can be very boring - could she not have brought a friend/cousin? I’m an only but always had great holidays as my parents made sure I had a friend, or often we went away with other families with kids. You have to make an effort especially at that age - your child isn’t going to want to just tag along with mum and dad. It’ll be worse when she’s 13/14 - what will you do then? Surprised you haven’t thought of this before now.

So not a day trip, but a morning trip.

Massively shocked at the voting and
Kinda surprised at this thread...

Shes 11 not 2.
She can understand you work for all the nice things you have and you have needs too... not everything is centred on her.

My 4 yr old broadly understands these principles.

she was bored for 2 hrs - so what?
Read a book, watch tv, go get an ice cream....
Being bored is okay....

I wouldn't give this another thought

God that sounds so patronising do you really talk like that?!

Most kids that age just aren’t that “grateful” to be taken on fancy holidays they have no say in. Most would likely rather be in a field with their friends then in a paradise resort with just their parents. You’re looking at it through adult eyes.

Very odd behaviour for parents to sleep for two hours every day on holiday. You can do that before you have children but not on family holidays. Quite selfish really.

@Personil People are crazy on this thread. An 11 year old could be left to her own devices during 2 hours every day. I also have a 2 hour lie down every day on holidays. My ds (now 12 and 16) have the choice to go to the beach with their dad or the kids club when a little bit younger. They wanted to stay and play on their devices (switch) while I slept. They had already been to the beach and pool in the morning and wanted to relax in the afternoon even though not sleep as me. Did your daughter have a switch/phone or something ? Because if yes, I can't believe she was bored.

Also - you were out in the morning so it's a good thing to stay out of the sun in the afternoon.

Cultural appropriation to use the word "siesta"? Don't be ridiculous!

The kid did fill the daily two hours but the OP asked her dd a question and the dd answered it truthfully, so why are people piling on the dd?

An 11 yr old who can’t leave the hotel room is not in any way like a student going off to university. Querying how will she manage when a room mate goes out on a date is just bizarre.

As she’s literally just sitting there on her own while you and DH nap I really don’t think it would be unreasonable for you and DH to tag team a nap!!

Think about how many years you have been on this earth for and then compare it to 11 years. An 11 year old is still a young child. Lazy parents may not want to acknowledge this but an 11 year old deserves and needs their family to spend the day with them on holiday and not in their bed for 2 hours every single day.

Surely you know that mid-afternoon bonks on holiday is for when the kids are in kids club.

Just to clarify, you would not be in kids club too. You would be in your room 👩‍⚖️ 😂

Oh that’s embarrassing 😂 Don’t be so utterly ridiculous.

Seriously? DH likes to sleep in in the morning while I'm an early riser. I sleep in the afternoon and he's available to take them out in the afternoon but they prefer tocstay in with their devices while I sleep. Not odd behaviour to have a nap when you're tired. I would just recommend that you don't sleep at the same time so one parent is available for the child.

@Personilabsolutely not unreasonable to have a na on holiday - day to day life is exhausting.

i nap, my 9 year old reads or plays iPad for an hour it’s no big deal. She could do with the rest too on holidays but does not like to nap.

ignore other responses - people on Mumsnet are so ridiculous at times

Two hours every afternoon while she was left on her own? I’m not surprised she was fucked off.

If you were that desperate for a sleep, you should’ve taken it in turns.

Didn't you think to let her take a friend with her on the holiday?