Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

The whole point of going on holiday as a family is to go and spend time together, usually by the pool or out on day trips, sight seeing or exploring the local culture.
Being cooped up in a hotel room every afternoon sounds bizarre.

These posts are totally OTT. An 11 year old can entertain themselves- read a book, watch a film. Nothing wrong with having a rest on holiday, you’ve said you did trips out in the morning. You are not being unreasonable.

Gosh people are dramatic!
Whilst it’s not something I’d personally do (I’m not a napper), I really don’t think it’s as bad as people are making out here,
the child is 11 not 2! Not everything revolves around children every minute of the day.

Perhaps consider planning a holiday somewhere no quite so hot where you wouldn’t need to avoid going outside and could plan more activities with DD??

It's quite comical how many posters are falling over themselves to portray this 11 year old as selfish, a brat, incapable of entertaining herself, self absorbed or a snowflake for simply answering a question truthfully...

if it was Spain, a lot of places are shut during the Siesta time. Did she get to hang out later in the evening as a compensation?

Locals have siestas because it is part of their tradition and a way to manage demanding jobs. You used it as a cop out.

Of course an 11 year old is going to be bored left alone in the room.

If your partner or friend did that everyday of a holiday wouldn’t you get fed up too?

I think those criticising the child are being really unfair. She did put up with it. She presumably did “entertain herself” for 2 hours. She was specifically asked afterwards if she enjoyed it and she said no. What would you expect her to do? Lie?

Exactly!

To be honest I think it’s totally unreasonable for grown adults to leave an 11 year old child alone on holiday for two hours everyday!
What was she supposed to do? No wonder she was bored and fed up, what sort of a holiday was that for a child!
if you really were ‘sleeping’, why? It’s not normal behaviour for adults to go to bed for two hours everyday.

This. Anyone would think she was being abused! Absolutely ridiculous.

Well quite - and this is where parents can't have it all ways.

If you want your 11 year old to tolerate 2hrs of self entertainment per day on holiday while you nap because you believe this will be a valuable life lesson in self sufficiency and helping your child understand they sometimes have to put others' needs above their own, that's an entirely valid parenting decision. It is entirely reasonable to expect an 11 year old to tolerate or accept that, even if it is not enjoyable for them. But it boggles my mind that the OP would then be upset or aggrieved that an 11 year old said honestly when asked that they didn't enjoy that experience. Life lessons usually aren't enjoyable things, even if we grow from them.

"I'm sorry you didn't enjoy that part of the holiday, Katie. I understand that it was boring for you just being in the apartment while we slept, but the heat made us tired and we couldn't be outside in it. I can't promise that every part of a holiday is always going to be fun and enjoyable, especially if the weather is very hot. But we could make sure we take a few more things for you to do next time."

Honestly what we would have done is nap next to the pool and let her play/ make friends. We would have took an hour each so one of us was listening out.

Sounds like generic organised activity in the morning then back to be stuck indoors on a wonderful hot day, alone. If I was 11 the alone part woukd've been fine but stuck staring outside at a sunny day would have been hell on earth.

Also if you both need 2hrs sleep every day I'm guessing you aren't then spending the rest of the afternoon hanging by the pool and having fun in the general way a kid would enjoy. I don't blame her OP.

I hope you don't have kids, if you do, I feel sorry for them!!

It’s odd that the child is left alone for two hours and that the adults take to their bed when there is a child on holiday with them. Also odd that they appear surprised that the child didn’t enjoy the two hours alone. Daily.

"I'm sorry you didn't enjoy that part of the holiday, Katie. I understand that it was boring for you just being in the apartment while we slept, but the heat made us tired and we couldn't be outside in it. I can't promise that every part of a holiday is always going to be fun and enjoyable, especially if the weather is very hot. But we could make sure we take a few more things for you to do next time."

I think this is a great response. As pointed out, the child is just being honest about what they didn't like. It could have been they said they didn't like the food and there would have been less debate over that.

I haven't been abroad in years so don't know what it's like now but people saying watch a film or TV - do they necessarily have a TV in all types of accommodation and would this show a choice of channels speaking English?
Even as a teen I was a very quick reader so would also have needed a suitcase full of books to last a week if I had 2 hours a day of reading time (plus any additional reading by the pool/in the evening).
Also it may be dependent on gadgets for how easily she could amuse herself. Access to a phone and WiFi maybe. And yes she could do things like colouring but sometimes it's nice to have company when doing quiet activities.

I’m a bit confused by this thread. Why on earth can’t she read or watch Netflix for a couple of hours or whatever. I always did this and my kids never expected different. Parents aren’t entertainment and deserve a holiday too.

Yeah its astounding the hate being directed at a tiny child for having the audacity to point out that she didn't enjoy being left alone for 2 hours each day on holiday. It says a lot about these people's attitude to parenting.

Sounds like people being ridiculously threatened by the afternoon siesta because it's not their personal way of life. There is absolutely fuck all wrong with it, or with an 11 year old child being left to their own devices for an hour or two, and every one of you knows it. You're being utterly stupid.

The kid is absolutely allowed to say she didn't like that part of the holiday. That doesn't mean the parent needs to respond with 'how high' - the parent can equally respond with 'that's unfortunate, we'll see what we can figure out for next time'.

Two hours is a long time every day. Yes of course I could do that at 11- but only at home surrounded by my books, colouring stuff and toys. Not in the living room of a holiday apartment with no one else to hang out with. I'd have had my brother at least - and actually 2hrs together would have ended in mischief or tears!

You've got a few options for next time, go to somewhere with a kids club, take a friend along for her to play with or have shorter naps- an hour tops.

Tiny child? She’s 11 ffs

11 year olds do not need a siesta. They need stimulating and engaging things to do or think about.

Next time you have a family holiday go somewhere less hot so that you and DH can stay awake (presumably you are capable of getting through a day without a nap normally). If you go somewhere hot again either invite a friend along to join DD or make proper plans in advance for what to take along so that she has something she wants to do with 2 hrs of solo time (taking a friend is best out of these options if 2hrs a day spent solo just isn't something she'd enjoy).