To just hate having a woman's body

[Redgreenbluetwo]

Maybe it's cos everything has happened at once today, but I just hate having a woman's body, and DH doesn't know how lucky he is.

Meant to be going on a spa day tomorrow with my friend. Obviously I got my period today. It fucking hurts, is a mess, and makes tomorrow more difficult. On top of that I have to go through the rigmarole of hair removal. I hate having dark hair and having to shave my armpits most days. Just such a pain in the arse. Now I have to do my bikini line later as well, and woe betide me if my legs are ever prickly. And my bra has been giving me gyp at work all day too.

Just bugger off with it all.

DH has to worry about none of those things. Sometimes I just hate it. I can't really remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the hassle of these things either but they really are just so bloody annoying!! And we have childbirth. And I have the menopause to look forward to. Men can be as hairy as they like, have no periods, no bras, no anything. Aaarggh!

First world problems though. I'm sure many people would love a spa day but cannot afford it just now.
Glass half empty perhaps?

Oh give it a rest. People are allowed a whine about anything they want without someone as sanctimonious as you are telling them it could be worse because their eyeballs could have fallen out in the morning, or at least they have periods because they have a womb. Many people can afford a spa day, some can’t, so what?

Calm down. I'm just saying that worse things happen. I do not get the eyeballs comment 😀

There is so much of having a woman's body I can't be arsed with but I don't think I want to have a man's body either.

Got breasts and periods early, always had horrible periods, never wanted children so having this annoying monthly bleeding and large bosoms wasn't going to do anything useful for me. Now comes perimenopause but I'm still having some periods, my ovaries just won't let go.

Also got plenty of pesky and obvious body hair but I get round the bikini issue by wearing swimwear with generous coverage. Never cared about an all over tan anyway.

Despite me being flippant in my previous posts (and i'm sorry to the PP for being argumentative) I started my periods when I was 9 years of age. I had no clue what was happening and i'm still having them now at 43 years old.
I also got breasts early and got 'touched up' by boys at primary school.
I have also never had children by choice, so it all seems very pointless 😀

You should definitely sack off the shaving, it's incredibly liberating. Love a hairy pit!

I hope you had a nice day at the spa and didnt feel too periody.

I'll never forget the day when I was trying to explain to dh why I wasnt going to wash my very thick, unruly hair until the next day and it came to light that he has never even had a knot in his hair...

Can I reasonably add body insecurities/complexes to this list? May not be a physical pain but it is a psychological one. Actually, mental health can end up affecting physical health anyway.

I was an ambulance call handler for a decade
doesn't mean my periods aren’t fucking horrific with stage 4 endo. Some periods are so bad that I seriously considered if I wanted to live any longer

I brought a swim vest and leggings from decathlon because I was suffering from eczema and had really awful scars left. I felt I had no choice but to cover up. I was the only one wearing this type of gear so I was really self conscious but it’s actually so liberating now & great for sun protection too. I was a bit chunky before but since losing weight, I actually love these swim garments & think it shows off my figure nicely. No need to show any skin. I don’t have to worry about shaving etc & can enjoy having fun with my kids again in the water.

Ha, good luck with that happening anytime soon. That is a HUGE movement.

Okay, go on… tell us your age, are you single or in a relationship? Tell me your occupation and lifestyle.

I shave my legs and under arms intermittently. Never pubic hair. I’m 42 and single (by choice)
sometimes wear makeup, don’t for work

Well…. That’s a bit different to what the OP is saying isn’t it. You are also single. I’m not saying you have to do this for your partner, but quite often, they like it too.

I have PCOS, so hair removal is the bane of my life. If I didn’t remove hair, I’d be covered and it would NOT be accepted by society. Sadly.

Single, not celibate
I find judging men by their objection to a bush works pretty well
i don’t feel pressure to do anything really

I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. I hope you are feeling better. From one call handler to another. Take care xx

I didn’t suggest you were celibate. When you’re in a relationship/marriage, it can be different though. I am glad you don’t personally feel pressure, but sadly, for a lot of us women, we do…

Yeah I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t 100% happy with me natural or made me feel pressurised to remove hair or wear makeup or heels etc
i get preferences but again, if their preference didn’t match mine then no go

That’s fine.

to be honest, that’s not really what I am taking away from OP’s post though. I think they were expressing the pressures they feel in relation to their male partner. And tbh, I do relate. My DH doesn’t need to worry about half as much appearance related things as I do.

The good news about the menopause is that not only do your periods stop but your armpit hair and leg hair pretty much stop growing (at least, mine did). The bad news is that hairs start sprouting on your chin and have to be tweezed out.

Toxic positivity is a thing, you know!🤪

No, but there were societies that were actually matriarchal, not patriarchal with a matriarch figurehead. I bet the women in those societies still wanted to look nice!!!

Imo it's a human urge to want to look good and nothing to do with society. For example, who wouldn't say no to a magic wand giving them great hair? Would you say "No, I'll just keep the thin stuff with the greys, don't you waste that wand-power"??

In fact, I suspect the urge to groom is to do with reproduction rather than society.

Not having support means potentially more sagging, but maybe some people don't mind that. For me, I hate the idea of jiggling and bouncing all over the place as I walk, attracting all the pervs in sight. (I'm quite large.) Also, my boobs are a much nicer shape in a supportive, well-fitted bra.

Imo it's a human urge to want to look good and nothing to do with society

The urge to attract the opposite sex in an urge for all mammals.
The definition of "look good" is massively cultural. For most of human societies it's been determined by the male gaze.

High heels were initially for men, riding horses in the middle east. Then for high status men in Western Europe. Not for women at all.

For much of Western history, high status women being pale was what was considered attractive. That is because those who worked were tanned.

In the second half of the twentieth century, Western women who were tanned were considered attractive. That's because those who worked were indoors and couldn't tan.

What is considered attractive swerves wildly bad d on the values of the patriarchal society at the time

OP could try going on the pill Seasonale- you only have a period every 6 months.