Page 5 | To just hate having a woman's body

FrostyPalms · 21/04/2026 21:32

Zuve · 21/04/2026 19:01

Agree with you OP. And also the makeup. My hubby pulls his shirt on and off he goes. I am stuck in the bathroom verifying made up.

But you're not "stuck" in the bathroom, "verifying" make up, are you? You choose to wear make up. It's not mandatory.

ainsleysanob · 21/04/2026 21:35

Gwenhwyfar · 21/04/2026 21:13

I would say that very heavy periods like that are a gynaecological problem.
Mine aren't that bad even with a condition that my gynae wants to take my womb out over.

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I’ve had many investigations into it over the last 30 years. It’s just my periods.

ForCosyLion · 21/04/2026 21:35

barkygoldie · 21/04/2026 21:21

Do you know, about 6 months ago I started going swimming weekly with my kids, and at some point I just thought, why am I shaving my legs when no one gives a fuck and if they do care then I think they are weird? Im not there to attract anyone. I’m more likely to shave for myself if I’m wearing a dress and it feels nice to feel smooth and moisturised. But otherwise, it feels great to just give no fucks. I know you can’t manufacture that feeling, but really, think about how no one is interested in you and they are all thinking about themselves. When we are on our deathbeds, are we going to think ‘I’m glad I spent so much time preening my body for some imagined code for females’?

The period bit sucks. Hope you can relax and it doesn’t dominate things too much.

If you feel that you're following an imagined code for females, then no, you shouldn't do it. I truly think I do it for myself, though. But some people (like some PP here) can't accept that some women groom themselves in accordance with they like and only what they like. And sometimes those things are aligned with what society thinks looks good on women. Personally, I don't think that the societal pressures came first. I think these things became the "norm" because they do look objectively nicer, imo, which is why most people did them. Now they're the default look. But I don't think anyone should try to produce that look if they don't want to. If I didn't want to do my hair and makeup and shave and dye my greys etc, you can bet your first-born that I most certainly would not.

It seems that there are quite a few women who do not want to shave, wear makeup etc. but feel they "have" to. I can't imagine spending all that time and money on my appearance if I thought it was a drag. Women who don't WANT to do all that just shouldn't! I don't relate to all the pressure because I've loved makeup ever since I can remember; I love colour and art etc. but it must be a total PITA not to want to groom that way but feel you have to. I mean, that is a lot of time being bored and doing stuff you don't want to. Luckily for those who aren't into it all, the natural look is more acceptable than ever these days.

ForCosyLion · 21/04/2026 21:36

FrostyPalms · 21/04/2026 21:32

But you're not "stuck" in the bathroom, "verifying" make up, are you? You choose to wear make up. It's not mandatory.

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Think PP means "doing" makeup.

PP, don't wear makeup if you don't want to! There's no point if you don't enjoy it.

Original poster

Redgreenbluetwo · 21/04/2026 21:48

ForCosyLion · 21/04/2026 21:35

If you feel that you're following an imagined code for females, then no, you shouldn't do it. I truly think I do it for myself, though. But some people (like some PP here) can't accept that some women groom themselves in accordance with they like and only what they like. And sometimes those things are aligned with what society thinks looks good on women. Personally, I don't think that the societal pressures came first. I think these things became the "norm" because they do look objectively nicer, imo, which is why most people did them. Now they're the default look. But I don't think anyone should try to produce that look if they don't want to. If I didn't want to do my hair and makeup and shave and dye my greys etc, you can bet your first-born that I most certainly would not.

It seems that there are quite a few women who do not want to shave, wear makeup etc. but feel they "have" to. I can't imagine spending all that time and money on my appearance if I thought it was a drag. Women who don't WANT to do all that just shouldn't! I don't relate to all the pressure because I've loved makeup ever since I can remember; I love colour and art etc. but it must be a total PITA not to want to groom that way but feel you have to. I mean, that is a lot of time being bored and doing stuff you don't want to. Luckily for those who aren't into it all, the natural look is more acceptable than ever these days.

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I think it's a bit of both though. I feel like I look better with hairless armpits and neat pubic hair, and that my legs feel nicer smooth. But if the societal norm was hairiness then perhaps I wouldn't!

I think it's more just occasional laziness that makes me bothered. I just want to have a wash in the shower, not faff around with a razor even if it does only take two minutes. And my pubic hair in particular is annoying because that requires more of an effort to keep short and neat. I do it for both me and society though!

OP posts:

Netcurtainnelly · 21/04/2026 21:49

Slupeyisinteresting · 21/04/2026 16:51

Yanbu, and add boobs to this, and more points for big ones. bras: expensive, time taken to shop. They get in the way. Bad back. Sweaty.

I cant deal with all the maintenance!

what is even the point of boobs, alot of women.never use them for the purpose they were intended for either.

Dreamcatcherat50 · 21/04/2026 21:50

Redgreenbluetwo · 21/04/2026 16:28

My pits need doing anyway. They always do. Especially now it's getting to summer again. Nothing to do with the spa day. After a couple of days the stubble is noticeable. I just don't like it and get self conscious.
True about my bikini line but I don't have swim shorts so I feel like I have to. I just don't like being overly hairy. I know it's a societal thing and I've been conditioned to think that etc but I do actually think it! I know that pubic hair is natural and I don't mind having it. It's just the fact that it requires taking care of all the time.

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Would you get lasers? I did and its wonderful. Just cuts out the whole rigmarole.

SapphireSeptember · 21/04/2026 21:52

Calliopespa · 21/04/2026 18:05

Increasing numbers of women don't do anything about body hair now.

I was talking to my friend's 15 year old the other day and she said lots of teens view it as really naff to shave.

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Good! I gave up shaving in 2020 (after doing my armpits and getting a rash.) I decided never again. Haven't shaved my legs since 2014. My lady garden gets a trim when I remember, but I remember shaving it a few times and it just looked awful and felt worse, so I've let it alone since then. I don't pluck my eyebrows either, always thought they looked fine as they are (despite being a teenager in the 2000s when eyebrows were plucked into oblivion.)

sorryIdidntmeanto · 21/04/2026 21:53

Men have to shave their faces. Well they don't have to, but many choose to. You don't have to shave anywhere at all, but you may choose to.

SapphireSeptember · 21/04/2026 21:56

Netcurtainnelly · 21/04/2026 21:49

what is even the point of boobs, alot of women.never use them for the purpose they were intended for either.

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Indeed. I tried breastfeeding DS and failed, now he's weaned I was thinking I could just get them lopped off, as I'm not going to ever need them again as I'm not having another child.

brunettemic · 21/04/2026 21:59

It’s hardly your DH’s fault though is it. There’s also things you can do about it if you so wish like treatments etc. I’d also question the “men don’t have to do any of this thing” given the disgust I’ve seen on here about hair on backs or shoulders.

barkygoldie · 21/04/2026 22:01

ForCosyLion · 21/04/2026 21:35

If you feel that you're following an imagined code for females, then no, you shouldn't do it. I truly think I do it for myself, though. But some people (like some PP here) can't accept that some women groom themselves in accordance with they like and only what they like. And sometimes those things are aligned with what society thinks looks good on women. Personally, I don't think that the societal pressures came first. I think these things became the "norm" because they do look objectively nicer, imo, which is why most people did them. Now they're the default look. But I don't think anyone should try to produce that look if they don't want to. If I didn't want to do my hair and makeup and shave and dye my greys etc, you can bet your first-born that I most certainly would not.

It seems that there are quite a few women who do not want to shave, wear makeup etc. but feel they "have" to. I can't imagine spending all that time and money on my appearance if I thought it was a drag. Women who don't WANT to do all that just shouldn't! I don't relate to all the pressure because I've loved makeup ever since I can remember; I love colour and art etc. but it must be a total PITA not to want to groom that way but feel you have to. I mean, that is a lot of time being bored and doing stuff you don't want to. Luckily for those who aren't into it all, the natural look is more acceptable than ever these days.

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I don’t understand how you can think societal pressures didn’t come first. Women have been objectified and literally were the possessions of men, for hundreds of years. The ‘societal pressures’ are the wishes of men, that have been handed down throughout the generations. You have been saturated in images of smooth hairless women since you were born! Of course you should do what you want to do, everyone should, but I think it is naive to think your wishes exist in some kind of vacuum separate from your culture and your sex class.

Fuchvyghfdmu5464 · 21/04/2026 22:05

Slupeyisinteresting · 21/04/2026 16:51

Yanbu, and add boobs to this, and more points for big ones. bras: expensive, time taken to shop. They get in the way. Bad back. Sweaty.

I cant deal with all the maintenance!

You don’t need to wear bras if you dress carefully.

Fuchvyghfdmu5464 · 21/04/2026 22:06

barkygoldie · 21/04/2026 22:01

I don’t understand how you can think societal pressures didn’t come first. Women have been objectified and literally were the possessions of men, for hundreds of years. The ‘societal pressures’ are the wishes of men, that have been handed down throughout the generations. You have been saturated in images of smooth hairless women since you were born! Of course you should do what you want to do, everyone should, but I think it is naive to think your wishes exist in some kind of vacuum separate from your culture and your sex class.

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This.

Fuchvyghfdmu5464 · 21/04/2026 22:10

Netcurtainnelly · 21/04/2026 21:49

what is even the point of boobs, alot of women.never use them for the purpose they were intended for either.

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True, but we won’t evolve quickly enough for them to disappear. We did need them up until about 60 years ago? Not sure when formula milk came out.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 21/04/2026 22:11

If I was shaving as often as that I’d buy an IPL machine. Approx £500 in Boots. Well worth it.

Fuchvyghfdmu5464 · 21/04/2026 22:11

SapphireSeptember · 21/04/2026 21:56

Indeed. I tried breastfeeding DS and failed, now he's weaned I was thinking I could just get them lopped off, as I'm not going to ever need them again as I'm not having another child.

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Seriously, as in getting a reduction? I’d never lob mine off, there isn’t too much to lob off in the first place 😂

Cel77 · 21/04/2026 22:14

Redgreenbluetwo · 21/04/2026 16:01

Maybe it's cos everything has happened at once today, but I just hate having a woman's body, and DH doesn't know how lucky he is.

Meant to be going on a spa day tomorrow with my friend. Obviously I got my period today. It fucking hurts, is a mess, and makes tomorrow more difficult. On top of that I have to go through the rigmarole of hair removal. I hate having dark hair and having to shave my armpits most days. Just such a pain in the arse. Now I have to do my bikini line later as well, and woe betide me if my legs are ever prickly. And my bra has been giving me gyp at work all day too.

Just bugger off with it all.

DH has to worry about none of those things. Sometimes I just hate it. I can't really remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the hassle of these things either but they really are just so bloody annoying!! And we have childbirth. And I have the menopause to look forward to. Men can be as hairy as they like, have no periods, no bras, no anything. Aaarggh!

I won't wear tampons (they've always freaked me out. I don't like stuff stuck inside me) and I haven't tried period swimwear yet.
I actually cancelled my spa trip with a friend last year because of this.
So you're doing better than me!
I get you have a choice regarding hair removal but I'd probably be the only hairy woman at the place. I'd rather not attract unwanted stares and feel at ease. And a spa day is a lot of money so I'd like to feel good and enjoy my day.
I completely agree with everything you said. I'd add grey/white hair and the joys of getting older for women. Men do have it easier.

Dutchhouse14 · 21/04/2026 22:25

YANBU
Periods and menopause are unavoidable .
Men have no idea about the physical toll of preganacy, childbirth and breastfeeding, pet peeve is when a couple anounce "we'te pregnant" No youre *** not just one of you is! It completely iignores and undermines the physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth on a womens body .

Hair removal you can opt out off but it is hard to ignore social conditioning and norms.
I have fair skin and dark hair so hair on legs, arms, under arms and bikini line and upper lip are very noticeable.
I envy my fair haired friens who have much less noticeable fair and fine body hair.
I also used to suffer from heavy painful periods and putting on a swimming costume would be the last thing id want to do , defintely puts a dampner on special occasions

tofumad · 21/04/2026 23:10

Well periods can be a fucker alright but the shaving stuff is optional. I don't bother with most if it

tofumad · 21/04/2026 23:15

StrawberryShieldsForever · 21/04/2026 17:42

Sorry but most men have utterly disgusting bodies and do nothing to improve upon it. Especially as they age.

They just … go around with bald heads and flabby guts, unkempt clothing and we just let them do it.

We have high standards for ourselves, we need to pressure men to DO. BETTER.

No. We need to pressure women to stop caring so much about their entirely natural body hair and obsessing about trivialities to do with appearance.

GlomOfNit · 21/04/2026 23:20

Well, it IS your body, OP, and you're never going to have another one. You can spend ££££s on cosmetic surgery and hair removal but it will still be your own body and you're a woman, so ... I would, as tedious young folk say these days, 'lean into it'. Also, some of those young people think that leg and armpit hair is incredibly chic these days, so there's always that to consider.

Shave or don't shave, nobody is forcing you to do this. The periods are a PITA but you know - don't you?? - that you could go onto a continuous contraceptive pill regime and just not bleed. Talk to your GP about a Mirena, for instance.

SOD making your pubes 'pretty'! You're right, men tend not to obsess about the shaping of their pubic hair and nor do I. If I care enough about it, I wear a boy-leg costume which completely sidesteps any 'need' to prune and sculpt my lady garden. Pubes are there for a reason, ever stop to think about that? Why do we feel this need to strip them off? It hurts, you get ingrown hairs and spots, you have to keep on doing it. Fuck that shit.

Otterloverfrenchielady · 21/04/2026 23:34

ainsleysanob · 21/04/2026 20:06

Always makes me laugh on Mumsnet when so many women consider periods to be of minimal disruption! On days 2, 3 & 4 of my period I have to wear a super++ tampon and nighttime pad, in the day, that needs changing every 45 minutes. If I don’t, it leaks all over my clothes and chair and I have to leave work for an hour to get changed. If I get showered without a tampon in then actual pound piece sized clots will be all over the shower floor and covering the towel I get dried on. I am up and down through the night to make sure I don’t leak all over my bed ruining yet another mattress. For the rest of the FIVE days it’s just a normal ‘heavy’ flow. And no, I don’t have a gynaecological problem. This is just how my periods are and periods like this are a fucking ordeal every month.

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Not to be disrespectful as I know you have said you don’t have a problem, but that sounds like fibroids.

Pyjamatimenow · 21/04/2026 23:34

Agree it’s a hard job. I had all the hair lasered off twenty years ago. Very liberating. The periods are a pain in the arse. Last month I only had about two days I felt normal.

mjf981 · 21/04/2026 23:41

Yeah but having to live with sweaty balls and penis between your legs and constantly having to 'adjust'..... I guess it's just one thing but it's the male equivalent of boobs in a way.

Periods are ridiculous though. Evolution should have done a better job there.