To just hate having a woman's body

[Redgreenbluetwo]

Maybe it's cos everything has happened at once today, but I just hate having a woman's body, and DH doesn't know how lucky he is.

Meant to be going on a spa day tomorrow with my friend. Obviously I got my period today. It fucking hurts, is a mess, and makes tomorrow more difficult. On top of that I have to go through the rigmarole of hair removal. I hate having dark hair and having to shave my armpits most days. Just such a pain in the arse. Now I have to do my bikini line later as well, and woe betide me if my legs are ever prickly. And my bra has been giving me gyp at work all day too.

Just bugger off with it all.

DH has to worry about none of those things. Sometimes I just hate it. I can't really remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the hassle of these things either but they really are just so bloody annoying!! And we have childbirth. And I have the menopause to look forward to. Men can be as hairy as they like, have no periods, no bras, no anything. Aaarggh!

When I watch my husband shave every day, I think I'm pretty lucky.

@Redgreenbluetwo You don't have to shave anything.

DH has to worry about none of those things.

Your DH doesn't shave his face or trim his beard? Most men don't have long beards because they are not practical and have to be looked after.

I can't really remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the hassle of these things either

Men do not have children's bodies.

I have this, from Decathlon via Asda. It looks great on. And no more bikini line.

Isn’t shaving you armpits and legs like three minutes in the shower?

No, I absolutely love it. I'm straight, but think women's bodies are objectively more aesthetically pleasing, especially when the first flush of youth has passed. If I was a man I imagine at my age I'd be a round potato on spindly legs with jowls and massive ears, nose and eyebrows with greying nose and chest hair. I'd take a bra and menopause over that all day long.

Totally with you OP. And anyone saying you shouldn't care, I bet they wouldn't go to a spa day with hairy pubes on show! Men do have it easy. Also true it's not their fault, but doesn't mean we can't moan about it 😅 I am in the process of having my hair down there lasered and I can highly recommend!

Yep. I have a disability that disproportionately affects women, so i doubt I'd have it if I was a man. My hormones give me acne so I have to take a pill that makes me thirsty and dizzy and makes me bleed every 2 weeks so I have to take the contraceptive pill to even that out, which kills my sex drive, but at least i don't have periods so painful i can't function any more. I have to do breast checks even though I have sad nipples so it feels horrible. I am judged and don't get taken seriously if I'm not wearing makeup, and not removing my body hair is taken as a political statement.

My husband? He takes an allergy pill every day as dust makes him sneeze. That's his only hardship!!!

So yes, I agree with you. But I still wouldn't like to be a man

Agree with you OP. And also the makeup. My hubby pulls his shirt on and off he goes. I am stuck in the bathroom verifying made up.

Agree OP and I know the argument ‘well you don’t have to do it’ but I do it all as I feel that’s the standard I hold myself too.

I attribute some of the good/lucky things that have happened in my life to looking good and being well presented especially as I’ve not always been that way and noticed a sharp uptick in life being better when I put the work in on looking good and I wouldn’t want to risk that by letting it all go.

I do love a slobbing out day though when I’m not seeing people and I can wear a tracksuit all day, hair up in a claw clip and no make up.

You have lots to look forward to with menopause. The hair on your body stops growing (but obviously starts growing on the face - smss asllet eyes though!) and your periods will eventually disappear all together.

Another one advocatinglaser hair removal. Had it don in 2000, cost a fortune, but well woth it.

I hear you, OP. It is bloody typical to have something like this planned and good old AF shows up. Fuck off!

You probably feel worse about everything because you're on. I know everything does my head in and I would much prefer to wallow under a blanket and watch shit TV. I definitely don't want to partake in any Bodyform-esque activities or sit around in white robes with other women.

Your DH is being very unreasonable for being a man. Meh.

I feel your pain OP. I'm much older now but have had a lifetime of hair removal and hair 'shame'. Was also v hairy and also had PCOS.
I did eventually get a Philips Lumea which was great. And then a couple of years ago I had proper Laser hair removal of bikini line and backs of my thighs (🙄) at a salon over quite a few months. Game changer. Wish I'd done it years ago. Done wonders for my confidence when swimming. Non hairy women just don't get it. Have a lovely spa day and think about getting lasered. 🌻

Tell that to women with endometriosis

you are very lucky your periods are not so bad to not consider them a problem

I don’t shave anything. I have hairy arm pits hairy legs and have never touched my bikini line. I used to shave but I stopped, very liberating. I said something similar to what you said to my husband once, OP, and he replied he has to shave every single day and he hates it. He also pointed out that his sex drive is tiresome, and has led to a lot of frustration when he was young. The grass is always greener… however yes, I agree women have it harder

Every sympathy OP.

I can only say Buckle Up when it comes to peri menopause. It's basically a shit show, being female.

I’ve had a very very hard few years with some horrible/traumatic things happen to me and my family, but I still moan about periods and trivial things. That’s okay too

Always makes me laugh on Mumsnet when so many women consider periods to be of minimal disruption! On days 2, 3 & 4 of my period I have to wear a super++ tampon and nighttime pad, in the day, that needs changing every 45 minutes. If I don’t, it leaks all over my clothes and chair and I have to leave work for an hour to get changed. If I get showered without a tampon in then actual pound piece sized clots will be all over the shower floor and covering the towel I get dried on. I am up and down through the night to make sure I don’t leak all over my bed ruining yet another mattress. For the rest of the FIVE days it’s just a normal ‘heavy’ flow. And no, I don’t have a gynaecological problem. This is just how my periods are and periods like this are a fucking ordeal every month.

It sucks!

What colour skin do you have?

The Philips Lumea IPL thing (or a course of salon laser) will help a huge amount. Best on dark hair but will work on dark skin tones.

I forget to do it but when I do - it works. I did my legs a month ago and only the patchy-bits I have evidently missed have grown, the rest is non-existent. Same for armpits (although I had those professionally done so only three hairs remain on each!)

Life-changing for us hairies. But also fuck society for making us do this!

Aside from people coming on and saying oh you don’t need to shave blah blah blah an just wear a rash suit (never going to happen in my life, I’d feel even less attractive) I can’t advise you strongly enough to go for laser hair removal. I am extremely hairy and after 5 sessions have no underarm hair, almost no leg hair and a clear bikini line. I’ve tried to do a full Hollywood but it’s taking longer but honestly, I feel like a completely new person, I don’t even have to think about hair removal, it’s like a miracle.

Philips Lumea is great and worth the money.

Menopause can be surprisingly great. I had zero symptoms. Not even a hot flush. My periods just got gradually lighter until they eventually stopped. What a great joy that was.

I hear you, OP. I have had the most horrendous perimenopause over the past 6 years, preceded by terrible period pains since aged 10.

I hate how my body is so sodding sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, and gives me migraines, period pains, dry skin, thinning hair, horrendous gingivitis, painful gums, loose teeth... but if I am being grateful for having birthed three wonderful children, I shouldn't complain about all of these things. apparently

Women's bodies really are absolutely awful at times, I've had to put up with other dreadful health problems over the past decade too on top (head injury, post concussion syndrome, then being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic that gave me a movement disorder).

My DH never really gets it totally. He's sympathetic up to a point, but just thinks I should not be so focused on the shite symptoms 😖😵‍💫 Of course, if men had all this ctap, they would have cured it decades ago by now.

Bras and body hair are optional.
Hormones and periods are horrendous so I'm with you on that one. I only have around 1 week of feeling good per month. A full 7 days of heavy bleeding, few days feeling tired after it ends, feel good for a week, then the anxiety starts, then low mood and very emotional, then back to the period. I can't even get excited about them stopping because given the only time I feel good is around ovulation, I'm kind of expecting to feel miserable when they're over.

Why book a spa day for around the time your period was due? That was always going to be risky.

I think having endometriosis is an example of what PP was talking about - people can have bigger issues.