To just hate having a woman's body

[Redgreenbluetwo]

Maybe it's cos everything has happened at once today, but I just hate having a woman's body, and DH doesn't know how lucky he is.

Meant to be going on a spa day tomorrow with my friend. Obviously I got my period today. It fucking hurts, is a mess, and makes tomorrow more difficult. On top of that I have to go through the rigmarole of hair removal. I hate having dark hair and having to shave my armpits most days. Just such a pain in the arse. Now I have to do my bikini line later as well, and woe betide me if my legs are ever prickly. And my bra has been giving me gyp at work all day too.

Just bugger off with it all.

DH has to worry about none of those things. Sometimes I just hate it. I can't really remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the hassle of these things either but they really are just so bloody annoying!! And we have childbirth. And I have the menopause to look forward to. Men can be as hairy as they like, have no periods, no bras, no anything. Aaarggh!

Absolutely this too. I do truly understand the shitty nature of hormones and their impact on a woman's body/life, but my goodness.. I'd literally give anything to just deal with hormones, ratherthan trying to deal with the joys of perimenopause on top of my other chronic neurological disorder and health problems.

Before my head injury and post concussion syndrome and movement disorder, periods were shitty. Now I'd love to have just a bit of hormone problems to worry about and nothing else 😟😪

I'm very envious of those who have no symptoms of menopause and wonder sometimes what i did in a previous life to get some many crappy symptoms 😵‍💫

It’s weird because my periods were a nightmare - heavy, flooding, migraines, anaemia, etc. I always envied women with light periods.

Yes I really just meant I think the tide is turning on it being a desirable look to be shaved.

I mean I still do ... but who knows what the future holds.

OK, we can't have periods or bear children or give birth, so I'll concede you those 😀
But it's very wrong to dismiss male hormone changes - after 40, you're losing 1% of testosterone levels per year, leading to baldness/hair loss, accumulating tummy fat and breast tissue, as well as muscle loss and other effects.
Shaving your face every day can be a PITA, as can looking after a beard (I've done both).

🤣🤣🤣🤣 menopause?

I have done laser hair removal. It works best on dark hair. I wish I had done it years ago.

Oh! Do you have regular periods! Well done you!

Sometimes I agree OP. I sometimes think us women need to change social convention a bit. It shouldn't be mortifying to have an accidental bleed and walk around with a little patch around the bum. It shouldn't matter if your arm pits are hairy, to the contrary we shouldn't be shaving unless we really like to. It also should he normal to put a napkin under your chin like a baby because a napkin on your lap is an absolute joke when anything falling would have to go around massive boobs on the way down.

100% Agree with previous posters re mirena coil and laser hair removal for pits, legs & bikini line - I did both when I started getting into swimming regularly and it’s so incredibly liberating! I only occasionally need to do a top-up hair removal treatment and the freedom it’s given me to wear what I want in summer and swim whenever I feel like it with no preparation is huge.

I only shave my armpits if someone is going to see them so for me that's not daily.
For the bikini line I have a legsuit for swimming pools. It wouldn't look as good on the beach, but then I could just add shorts or a sarong.

Does laser hair removal hurt?

I agree OP, I hate shaving, my hair grows back so fast but I also hate having any hair on my armpits, I don’t feel as clean

My friend booked it about six months ago, and I can't plan with certainty that far ahead! It only occurred to me last week that I might have my period tomorrow. And even then I wasn't sure whether I'd get away with it.
I don't really track it these days but my cycle varies by a day or two. Until this afternoon I was hoping I'd be fine til Thursday. Alas not.

I knew someone would say this!

I don't think it's all social conditioning. Lots of body hair is masculine and I think most of us women look objectively better without it.

I would say that very heavy periods like that are a gynaecological problem.
Mine aren't that bad even with a condition that my gynae wants to take my womb out over.

Laser is your friend. Book a few sessions - life changing. It doesn't hurt at at all.

You might understand not having perfectly regular cycles when you hit peri.

I won't be the only one to point out the real problem is patriarchal values and demands of female bodies.

Because men don't have wild hormonal cycles, wombs, ovaries and periods, it all feels 'abnormal' even though half the species is, in fact, female. And we all know women's bodies aren't hairless, but it does take a bit of courage to defy the imposed falsehood and let it all waft about.

Sympathies, OP. Hope you enjoy your spa day.

Even if you think you look better without it (due to social conditioning imo, but whatever), why does it have to be done every day especially when it's not hot enough to be sleeveless?

OP, I completely see what you mean. I've had a rough menopause and have suffered years of heartache from other problems that a female body can bring.

But on the other hand, our bodies are so beautiful. The graceful curves of our hipbones and breasts make us look like works of art, unlike men, who look like tree trunks with an elephant's nose randomly stuck on the front. Men look comical whereas we are visually stunning.

And yes, having a female body can bring all sorts of problems, but....our bodies literally manufacture humans. We are AMAZING.

Perfectly normal to have variances in your cycle.

It’s shit, you also feel like shit because your hormones are rock bottom and everything feels bad.

Completely reasonable to feel down in the dumps.

Do you know, about 6 months ago I started going swimming weekly with my kids, and at some point I just thought, why am I shaving my legs when no one gives a fuck and if they do care then I think they are weird? Im not there to attract anyone. I’m more likely to shave for myself if I’m wearing a dress and it feels nice to feel smooth and moisturised. But otherwise, it feels great to just give no fucks. I know you can’t manufacture that feeling, but really, think about how no one is interested in you and they are all thinking about themselves. When we are on our deathbeds, are we going to think ‘I’m glad I spent so much time preening my body for some imagined code for females’?

The period bit sucks. Hope you can relax and it doesn’t dominate things too much.

OP said most days, but for me, I feel cleaner and prettier when I don't have hairy armpits and legs, and when my pubic hair is neatly trimmed. I'm single and I WFH, but still give those areas a quick swipe with the razor when showering, because it makes ME feel nice. I do not think that lots of thick coarse dark hair looks good on me or is comfortable, and I think I would feel like that if I was on a desert island.

Who told you that you HAVE to shave any part of your body or that you HAVE to wear an uncomfortable bra? I haven't done any of those things since I was 20 (and I'm 76 now). Yes, women get periods and pregnant, but they also get to birth and nurse children. I'd stop moaning and rethink who you're doing any of those cosmetic things for if they're causing you to hate your body.

"I feel cleaner and prettier when I don't have hairy armpits and legs"

Which I can understand (although it's not cleaner). However, you'd get that feeling even more if you didn't do it every day.
It's like having clean sheets on the bed. If you change them every day you never get that clean day feeling.

OP finds it a chore (as do I) so why not just do it less often?