Wealthy MIL hoarding money

[hoardingwealth]

MIL is worth a few Million. Lives in a 6 bed, 6 bath mansion. Has multiple cars. Takes several long haul holidays every year, always business class. Lots of investments. Lots and lots of properties that she rents out. She's in very good health and in her mid 70's. Most women in the family live until 95. I'd say she's on track to do the same.

Now here's the rub. She was given a property and a business by her wealthy parents. She also inherited substantially. But she has effectively pulled up the ladder behind her, and has not given any such help to DH or his brother. We are ok for money, however BIL is on the breadline. He has young kids too. They are crammed into a tiny ex-council house and live pay cheque to pay cheque. They have no treats or niceties, no meals out, no holidays etc, as the money just won't stretch.

Obviously when MIL passes, unless she needs care, DH and BIL will receive a very nice inheritance, but if she does indeed live until 95, DH and BIL will be in their early 70's by then.

How would you feel about this? I'm struggling to wrap my head around it, tbh. DH and I have adult children, and we have helped them financially to get on the housing ladder, to get married etc, even though we don't have anything near this kind of wealth.

AIBU to think that MIL should have done the same as her parents did for her, and given DH and BIL a leg up, just like she had?

Has anyone else experienced this?

She might not realise exactly how much Rachel Reeves is going to bank.
Although it might send her off on a wild spending spree that wouldn’t help here….

..imagine someone marries your ds/dd, then starts drooling over your possessions, judging your lifestyle,getting pee’d off that you are spending your money, wishing you drop dead asap so they can he hold of your money, all while dissing your character and taking the moral high ground .. nice!
Op,take a look at yourself.
Dehumanised like this, I would leave all to war children and cats.

OP believes that MIL doesn't know because they never asked her to help.

What she fails to realise is that only 10% of information in human communication is derived from words, the rest is non verbal. With age people get better and better in reading those non verbal cues. I have little doubts that MIL knows exactly OP's view.

Over half of those who purchased their first home in the last five years in the UK received financial help from family. A lot of that will come from boomers given they’re able to do that. So many do help their children but it’s a shame that it needs to be done in the first place.

It wasn't the boomers who shafted the next generation. It was Thatcher's kids who broke that mould. Yes, boomers aspired to decent jobs, wages, houses, pensions and healthcare, but for everyone. Not for a few billionaires to suck up the wealth leaving the rest struggling. The 'bad reputation' comes from those billionaires instructing us to blame the boomers.

Because she is wealthy due to all her fabulous choices. Another boomer thought process, nothing down to luck (previous inheritance) or the prosperous time they started their working lives from. And besides , why would she rather hand it over to the government, to fund those who don't work and claim benefits. Makes no sense. She is just enjoying the position of superiority and power.

Wrong, it's the grey vote that's dominated politics.

Hilarious, so everyone who gets older has some unique ability to read body language.

Who votes is not the issue. 'If voting changed anything they'd abolish it.' Super-wealth has a grip on public opinion and voting patterns, and government behaviour. However the latter means it's largely immaterial who the people vote for. Thatcher's reforms kick-started the wholesale transfer of the nation's wealth upwards, and it has continued since. We are in the midst of a huge acceleration of it now. Grey interests are indeed one bastion of targeted resistance, but that will soon be overcome. Boomer governments tended to attempt a better society. They are long gone.

Using only words as a mean of communication is one of the symptoms of autism. NT people communicate by variety of means, with non verbal communication playing a very significant role.

Yes @nearlylovemyusername @hoardingwealth will not be some Oscar winning actress. Her MIL will know exactly what she's after and that's why she's not doing it.

And I say this from experience. My IL's (MIL/SIL especially) have believed over the years that we should always foot the bill. They don't (always) come out with it but it's there in how they act, what they do themselves and how they hope to kind of bounce us. Always walking to the loo when the bill arrives would be a good analogy. All the while, also behaving like utter arseholes on other things ie: when eldest was struggling a bit with SEND, anything she could do a much younger "genius" cousin could do better and it was rammed down our throats. This means they will get not one penny from me. Not one. And actually there is a situation that has arisen where actually a request could be deemed reasonable and actually if they had been less twattish I would have said let's def do this. As it goes. Not. One. Penny.

Doesn't sound like she is hoarding money at all. Sounds like she is spending it. On herself.

Some people just don't have a lot of empathy for others. For me, no I would not like to see a child struggle while I was rich, but some people don't have that empathy, maybe because she has never been there herself.

Her attitude may also be that her children get it all when she dies, so shes going to have fun while she can and then they get the lot to do what they want with.

You probably should be glad that you will get a large inheritance at all. Some people get nothing. In the meantime I would be dropping subtle hints and hope she catches on.