Wealthy MIL hoarding money

[hoardingwealth]

MIL is worth a few Million. Lives in a 6 bed, 6 bath mansion. Has multiple cars. Takes several long haul holidays every year, always business class. Lots of investments. Lots and lots of properties that she rents out. She's in very good health and in her mid 70's. Most women in the family live until 95. I'd say she's on track to do the same.

Now here's the rub. She was given a property and a business by her wealthy parents. She also inherited substantially. But she has effectively pulled up the ladder behind her, and has not given any such help to DH or his brother. We are ok for money, however BIL is on the breadline. He has young kids too. They are crammed into a tiny ex-council house and live pay cheque to pay cheque. They have no treats or niceties, no meals out, no holidays etc, as the money just won't stretch.

Obviously when MIL passes, unless she needs care, DH and BIL will receive a very nice inheritance, but if she does indeed live until 95, DH and BIL will be in their early 70's by then.

How would you feel about this? I'm struggling to wrap my head around it, tbh. DH and I have adult children, and we have helped them financially to get on the housing ladder, to get married etc, even though we don't have anything near this kind of wealth.

AIBU to think that MIL should have done the same as her parents did for her, and given DH and BIL a leg up, just like she had?

Has anyone else experienced this?

From a tax planning POV she would be better gifting someone money now and hope she survives 7 years, otherwise the Gov will be taking a hefty share of inheritance tax...but up to her really.
A shroud has no pockets.

She is going to be long gone by the time the tax is payable. Maybe she sees it as ‘giving back’?

She will, but her estate will attract Inheritance Tax... by gifting assets now she can mitigate some of that and help her children. Up to her but not how I would treat my family if I was that well off.

I’m sure she’s intelligent enough to understand but she’s decided not to do that.

She may or may not leave the balance to her sons. She would be short sighted to do so imo as she may need it for care costs.

For all we know, she doesn’t approve of her sons’ choices in life. Or she might be horrible. But nobody knows.

By looking after them as juveniles and help them get on the property ladder (as my parents did for all 4 of us) you inadvertently help them in middle age.

I agree all the points you made in your last post....my main point is that personally I could not watch my children struggle if I had an overabundance

This is the definition of "juvenile" from the online Cambridge dictionary: " a person who is not old enough to be considered an adult"