Dick Pic Comment Just Before 1st Date

[BrokenWingsCantFly]

I have been talking to this guy for nearly 2 months. He does shifts. We had a date planned a few weeks back, but he cancelled due to sickness. Tomorrow is our 1st free day to get that 1st date in. I was so looking forward to it but now I'm getting doubts.

He seems exactly what I am looking for. Good job (as do I), good looking, taller than me, seems to have the same views on many topics, we seem to have the same humour, both of us not really into nights out any more. Both close to family and want to do the same type of holidays.

I also liked that he didn't try to do sex talk. Which I have told him before I am glad about as I like to have got to know someone 1st and be actually physically involved with them before that. He sounded like he agreed. Well a few weeks on, last weekend we had both had a drink at home alone, and we got onto subject about pics. He said do I want him to send and almost nudes pic and he said not dick pics lol. He sent a photo of naked but covered his dick. I could tell it wasn't recent, but by god did he look hot and I told him so. Sent bikini snaps from holidays in exchange which are so PG they are on my Facebook.

Well anyway last night we had chats again as we have had every day, and he got a bit suggestive, we stuck to mild sex chat but nothing too explicit, then I said I need to sleep as had work in the morning. He said at the start of the night he was having a drink that night. I look at my phone in the morning and he had said goodnight, but then tried to continue the sex chat and ended with a message of its own saying he was going to send a dick pic never mind.

This has thrown me, I liked who he was to this point and he hadn't tried this sort of thing before last night. Why wait until just before we meet after all this time. He know my thoughts on nude photos, knew I was opposed. Maybe he meant it as a joke or a disappointment I cut off chat to go to sleep? I'm very black and white about this stuff, think autism contributes towards that thinking, but is this a me being too black and white or a pushing boundaries he knew about sort of thing?

After his cancellation last time, tomorrow was already down as a decision day. My worry now is nude photos are just not what I like. I know some people are into it and that is fine but they would not be suitable to me. If he sent photos to exes he had loved i could just pretend it didn't happen, but if he is sending photos to other girls he hasn't even met, then I don't want to be with someone who does this. Thinking if we got together, then many random strangers would have been having photos of my man. Yuk.

I messaged him back around lunchtime making a joke of it saying haha I don't want dick pics, then changing the chat. He hasn't read it since. But I know you can do preview of chats so maybe he thinks I'm too prude anyway

I agree. You need to meet up for a coffee very early on, then it’s easier to escape if you don’t like them. All this long term messaging is pointless. I met dh online. We met for a coffee and ended up staying until they shut the shop around us. Been married 16 years now.

I agree. You need to meet up for a coffee very early on, then it’s easier to escape if you don’t like them. All this long term messaging is pointless. I met dh online. We met for a coffee and ended up staying until they shut the shop around us. Been married 16 years now.

I don't understand the maths. Sounds like firefighter shifts. 2 early, 2 late, 2 nights then 3 days off. So in 2 months he's had something like 20 days off plus a load of evenings.

Thank you. Yes public place i know well at a mid way point. Part of the reason it has taken so long to meet is because I like day dates in open public places to start out with.

His photos are all gorgeous, but some more so and younger looking than others. The ones less so including the 1st photo he ever sent me looked very much his age and all casual, nothing show off or flattering but I still was attracted to him. His eyes especially and other features are the same as the stunning and the almost nude pic, but I can tell those are older. But he is still that same person. The half nude also had tan lines and it is not sunny now and he didn't say it was from now.

If he doesn't look like his more recent looking photos when we meet, if we meet, I will tell him straight and be on my way. I'm not too emotionally invested as have kept my guard up. But still disappointing if you thought someone was like you but may not be.

It has been a mix of both on who has given their veiw and opinion 1st. Humour wise we just bounce off eachother

Yeah those shifts. Wasn't ready to meet for a couple of weeks. Then was but he got sick. Then I had something on 1 weekend day he was free. Then no time off on weekend days until now

I’ve done a lot of internet dating. If you actually want to meet someone for a relationship, my advice is to get on and meet people. You have to meet to see if there’s any chemistry between you. No amount of texting can tell you whether that vital ingredient is there.

Hanging about for two months is odd. If this guy actually wants a relationship, how’s that going to work if he’s so busy you have to wait for two months. My guess is he’s either married or he’s busy texting and dating multiple contacts.

Aw that sounds lovely. Glad you found eachother.
That is what is planned. Lovely coffee shop mid day by the beach, then hopefully beach stroll. Tomorrow is D day. If it don't happen then it dont happen at all. And I'm spurred on by some of these responses such as yours to dive back in and try again. But at the same time men sound so shit sometimes I want to hide away in my happy place haha. Not going to get what I want sat in my house though

The 1st date cancelling was his end. The rest was me being fixed on the middle day weekend day for the 1st date. If a relationship happened then I would be more flexible, plus he works nearer me than his place so would meet him for a bit after my work and before his on days it suited. I wouldn't want that to be our 1st date

But yes in the past I have usually met quickly to know whether I'm wasting time or not. This guy is a 1 off

If the date doesnt happen, you really must call it a day

Can I ask a genuine question ( I have been following this thread with interest) I am quite old and have never had a 'dick pic' sent to me. Somehow I always imagined the pic was of a flaccid dick ( don't ask me why) and thought why on earth would anyone want to look at it? Then reading this thread it occurred to me that it's a pic of an erection! Which would kind of make more sense, not that I would particularly like to be sent one , unless it was of someone I was having sex with already and really, really fancied.

I have only been sent 1 once, and I couldn't tell you if if was hard or not i deleted pic & blocked. I'm guessing they would want it erect though as be pretty small otherwise haha.
I 100% wouldn't find it doing anything for me. It is the whole picture that makes me attracted to a man. Especially the eyes, I can melt with some beautiful eyes. I don't like sex chat at all with someone I havnt even been sexually involved with in real life (not that i like it anyway) it's the moment and real connection that gets me going, not some words on a screen with a photo you don't know is 100% real

He's been his usual lovely self tonight. So will see him tomorrow. If it is cancelled I will be done. Hope this last 2 month's won't be a waste

Why would you agree to him sending a dick pic and then worry that he would actually send you a dick pic ?

He sent you a nearly nude, you told him he was hot. You sent back a bikini pic.
I think you are blurring your own boundaries and sending very mixed messages.

You’ve continually said ‘no dick pics’. Then you fell asleep he said ‘I was going to send you a dick pic’.

It was a joke! He knows you don’t want that, you’ve told him from the start.

A bit like a kid saying ‘Whatever you do Mum, don’t make me wear a Mickey Mouse jumper to the party’. Few days go past, party comes up in conversation, Mum teases child and says ‘Now it’s a Mickey Mouse top you want to wear isn’t it?’

It’s playful teasing, I think you’ve completely misinterpreted him.

^^ Agree with this, you are both sending partial nudes to each other - and now you are getting upset about it because want to but for no valid reason 🤷🏼‍♂️

Yeah I have to agree with this. Also, from experience, you need to give a firm no, not a ‘it’s too early for that 🤣’ as SOME will still take that as a yes sadly.

Have you heard of the Burned Haystack Dating method? Highly recommend

It’s not always a joke though. I’ve had many unsolicited dick pics and I for one and glad it’s considered a crime now in the UK. It’s disgusting.

Chatting to people virtually is such a waste of time. Just meet up, deciding if you like each other is much easier face to face

This with unsolicited knobs on.

A decent man does not send pictures (or have them on his profile) topless, half naked or anything other than wearing normal clothes in a normal photograph. He also doesn't mention sex or intimacy at all before meeting the lady.

Ever.

I would think he was joking but maybe testing the waters to see if you would be into it or not. I do think lines have been blurred though as you were happy to get the pretty much full naked picture and complimented him on it.
I would see how the date goes in person and decide from there if you want to keep talking.

Totally agree. Have a coffee together very early on, just to find out if there’s any chemistry. Otherwise you could both be wasting each others time.

There’s been a recent thread, a poster saying she’s been “involved” with a guy for nearly 2 years, and has heard rumours about him on line. Turns out she hasn’t even met him. Insane.

Let us know how it goes. Interested too see how you get on. Good luck x

You’ve exchanged partial nudes, he’s only ever sent with permission. You have an issue with the fact he may have sent pictures to other people in the past.

hes not done anything wrong and you can’t police what people did before they met you!

Yeah, absolutely. Of course you're not wrong to not want a dick pic, but honestly, you say you were specific about not wanting sex chat before actually being intimate, before going on to have sex chat and exchange nearly nudes? Bonkers.

Why would your worry be that he would have sent you one, if you had said you were happy to receive one? That's very odd logic.