Dick Pic Comment Just Before 1st Date

[BrokenWingsCantFly]

I have been talking to this guy for nearly 2 months. He does shifts. We had a date planned a few weeks back, but he cancelled due to sickness. Tomorrow is our 1st free day to get that 1st date in. I was so looking forward to it but now I'm getting doubts.

He seems exactly what I am looking for. Good job (as do I), good looking, taller than me, seems to have the same views on many topics, we seem to have the same humour, both of us not really into nights out any more. Both close to family and want to do the same type of holidays.

I also liked that he didn't try to do sex talk. Which I have told him before I am glad about as I like to have got to know someone 1st and be actually physically involved with them before that. He sounded like he agreed. Well a few weeks on, last weekend we had both had a drink at home alone, and we got onto subject about pics. He said do I want him to send and almost nudes pic and he said not dick pics lol. He sent a photo of naked but covered his dick. I could tell it wasn't recent, but by god did he look hot and I told him so. Sent bikini snaps from holidays in exchange which are so PG they are on my Facebook.

Well anyway last night we had chats again as we have had every day, and he got a bit suggestive, we stuck to mild sex chat but nothing too explicit, then I said I need to sleep as had work in the morning. He said at the start of the night he was having a drink that night. I look at my phone in the morning and he had said goodnight, but then tried to continue the sex chat and ended with a message of its own saying he was going to send a dick pic never mind.

This has thrown me, I liked who he was to this point and he hadn't tried this sort of thing before last night. Why wait until just before we meet after all this time. He know my thoughts on nude photos, knew I was opposed. Maybe he meant it as a joke or a disappointment I cut off chat to go to sleep? I'm very black and white about this stuff, think autism contributes towards that thinking, but is this a me being too black and white or a pushing boundaries he knew about sort of thing?

After his cancellation last time, tomorrow was already down as a decision day. My worry now is nude photos are just not what I like. I know some people are into it and that is fine but they would not be suitable to me. If he sent photos to exes he had loved i could just pretend it didn't happen, but if he is sending photos to other girls he hasn't even met, then I don't want to be with someone who does this. Thinking if we got together, then many random strangers would have been having photos of my man. Yuk.

I messaged him back around lunchtime making a joke of it saying haha I don't want dick pics, then changing the chat. He hasn't read it since. But I know you can do preview of chats so maybe he thinks I'm too prude anyway

I think sending unsolicited dick pics is a deeply unattractive trait in a man.

Yup it’s the equivalent of someone dropping their trousers and flashing you in the street. But she has stated in a later post she likes it so… 🤣
Some people will just accept whatever little tiny breadcrumbs are thrown at them!

So do I. But it's not unsolicited if you ask for it, is it.

But you’re insinuating the op should be grateful because he asked if he could send her one. Maybe you’re on the wrong thread and should start another thread about people who enjoy receiving dick pics rather than airing your opinion on this thread and basically telling the op it’s not a big deal because he asked.

Jesus christ the man didn't send a dick pic! 🤣
If you can't see the difference between someone who wants to send a dick pic but doesn't until the woman consents to it and a man that sends unsolicited dick pics then there's something wrong with you.

They exchanged some pics that were verging on sexy.. he tested the waters with the dick pic comment, she didn't want it so he didn't send it.

Where's the crimeeeeeee

You are missing the point.

Op said she didn’t want a dick pic. The op also said that after he asked about sending the dick pic and she declined, she never heard from him again, neither did he turn up to meet her. Everyone else on this thread was posting great advice and basically telling op that a man wanting to send a dick pic was just using her and never intended to meet her and that sending a dick pic is a sign of a user and a player and these sort of people do not respect women.

You then piped up and said “oh well at least he asked if he could send a dick pic, I’d be just grateful he asked, nothing wrong with sending a dick pic as far as I’m concerned, I like it when random men flash at me” so basically dismissing how this guy treated the op and insinuating it wasn’t a big deal and that it’s somehow normal behaviour (it really isn’t), when op was looking for a relationship and this guy was clearly wanting sexy pics and lead her on. But in your eyes that’s all ok and you’d happily accept that treatment from a man so op should too…..right-i-o then 👍

I get it, you have low standards, op doesn’t.

Op actually said the issue wasn't having a picture of his dick, the problem was that other women might have a picture of it on their phone 🤣 like women are just keep people dick pics to peruse through 😂

Where did she say she never heard from him again? I read her say that he replied the next day with normal messaging. A man she's been chatting to for 2 months joked about sending a pic and all she's bothered about is that other people have seen it.

As for me, I'm not getting myself into a situation where I've been chatting to someone for 2 months, potentially getting attached, without

1. Meeting them 2.Knowing what they're into sexually

All this crap about not discussing these things early on is ridiculous old fashioned nonsense rooted in misogyny.
If you want to fall for a man with a small dick and no compatibility sexually then go for it. Couldn't be me.

Go and read her posts again… all of them! Where he clearly said he could have sent her a dick pic, she responded saying she didn’t want a dick pic. She never heard from him again, even when she messaged him to confirm the date they had arranged!!

“As for me, I'm not getting myself into a situation where I've been chatting to someone for 2 months, potentially getting attached, without

1. Meeting them 2.Knowing what they're into sexually

All this crap about not discussing these things early on is ridiculous old fashioned nonsense rooted in misogyny.”

So why come on this thread and say him sending a dick pic is ok because op should be grateful he asked and saying “oh well they’ve been chatting for 2 months so it’s not a big deal” then???

Oh it must be great to be you eh? So naive and gullible that you’re oblivious to predatory behaviour and unable to distinguish between someone wanting a serious relationship and someone who only wants sex. In fact so naive you’d happily accept a pic of a random man’s dick that he’s probably sent to 50 other women and still think he actually wants a relationship with you! Yes we are so old fashioned and misogynistic for stating the obvious and not wanting to rush into receiving dick pics 🤣

You sound like a narcissistic abuser’s wet dream 😆

Has he texted back?'
'Yes just normal chat now'

Maybe you need to read it again since you said he never spoke to her again after that night.

This situation would literally never happen to me, so not sure how you've deduced that I'm the naive one.

Happily married with 2 kids and plenty of pics of my husband's dick.
Women can want sex and material as well, you know? SHOCK HORROR. And men can be allowed to ask if you want one. Nobody has to say yes!!

Go and read her later posts and her updates. Duh!

Well good for you but stop giving crap advice to people who don’t want dick pics. And yes you are naive if you cannot distinguish between someone wanting to send dick pics from someone wanting a proper relationship.

A lot of women have much higher standards than you when it comes to men, so they don’t want to engage in sex talk early on or exchange naked pictures. Your bar for what you’re happy to accept from a man is very low - regardless of whether or not you’re married 😁

This is where we are different, I can accept that some people want to and some don't 😊 my bar is not low, hence why I wouldn't end up in a situation where someone's using me for 2 months, with no meeting and no phone call 🤣

This in a nutshell!

Op I am probably old enough to be your mother with one dd with autism.

This guy is not worth investing your energy and hopes in.

He is most likely a player.

Hold on to your boundaries, instincts and self respect 🌷

Edit: apologies have just rtft and see you are over him now op! Great decision! You have swerved a bullet.

You are backtracking now. You clearly said in one of your posts that it doesn’t matter if other women have seen pictures of his dick and it’s ok because he asked first. And that they have been chatting for 2 months so it’s hardly like they’ve only just started chatting, totally disregarding the fact that op said this

“I messaged him back around lunchtime making a joke of it saying haha I don't want dick pics, then changing the chat. He hasn't read it since.”

So basically she never heard back from him after that, not even to confirm if the date was still on. He ghosted her after she declined his offer of a dick pic… because he was only interested in sexual conversations and not meeting, yet he had lead op to believe for 2 months he wanted a relationship.

But according to you treating op like that is all fine and well because he asked her first

Totally agree, I have often met people IRL who when they show me their dating profile I think it just didn't show them well enough. Met a guy at an event last week, I'd seen him on my dating app and had said no, but he was definitely way better in person.

It is fine and well for people to change their mind about who they're dating. He doesn't owe her a date like she doesn't owe him anything.
I'm not backtracking- it is fine that other people have previously seen his dick... unless we're out here looking for virgins then that going to be the case for everyone. And it is good that he didn't just send it without making sure she wanted one- how is it not???

She's made a whole post about someone saying 'i was going to send you a dick pic' he didn't send one!!! They man never sent a dick pic!

It doesn't even mean he doesn't want a relationship, he just doesn't want one with someone who isn't interested in sex chat. So they're not compatible are they? So why would he hang around and why would she want him to?

You lot are absolutely batshit 😂

Like I said, you are so naive it’s unreal. I’d say when 99% of people on this thread are all in agreement that he is a loser and was just using op… and when you seem to have the complete opposite view, then I’d say that you’re the one who’s batshit, not the 99% of the rest of us 🤣