Dick Pic Comment Just Before 1st Date

[BrokenWingsCantFly]

I have been talking to this guy for nearly 2 months. He does shifts. We had a date planned a few weeks back, but he cancelled due to sickness. Tomorrow is our 1st free day to get that 1st date in. I was so looking forward to it but now I'm getting doubts.

He seems exactly what I am looking for. Good job (as do I), good looking, taller than me, seems to have the same views on many topics, we seem to have the same humour, both of us not really into nights out any more. Both close to family and want to do the same type of holidays.

I also liked that he didn't try to do sex talk. Which I have told him before I am glad about as I like to have got to know someone 1st and be actually physically involved with them before that. He sounded like he agreed. Well a few weeks on, last weekend we had both had a drink at home alone, and we got onto subject about pics. He said do I want him to send and almost nudes pic and he said not dick pics lol. He sent a photo of naked but covered his dick. I could tell it wasn't recent, but by god did he look hot and I told him so. Sent bikini snaps from holidays in exchange which are so PG they are on my Facebook.

Well anyway last night we had chats again as we have had every day, and he got a bit suggestive, we stuck to mild sex chat but nothing too explicit, then I said I need to sleep as had work in the morning. He said at the start of the night he was having a drink that night. I look at my phone in the morning and he had said goodnight, but then tried to continue the sex chat and ended with a message of its own saying he was going to send a dick pic never mind.

This has thrown me, I liked who he was to this point and he hadn't tried this sort of thing before last night. Why wait until just before we meet after all this time. He know my thoughts on nude photos, knew I was opposed. Maybe he meant it as a joke or a disappointment I cut off chat to go to sleep? I'm very black and white about this stuff, think autism contributes towards that thinking, but is this a me being too black and white or a pushing boundaries he knew about sort of thing?

After his cancellation last time, tomorrow was already down as a decision day. My worry now is nude photos are just not what I like. I know some people are into it and that is fine but they would not be suitable to me. If he sent photos to exes he had loved i could just pretend it didn't happen, but if he is sending photos to other girls he hasn't even met, then I don't want to be with someone who does this. Thinking if we got together, then many random strangers would have been having photos of my man. Yuk.

I messaged him back around lunchtime making a joke of it saying haha I don't want dick pics, then changing the chat. He hasn't read it since. But I know you can do preview of chats so maybe he thinks I'm too prude anyway

Block and delete.

What woman actually wants to receive a dick pick in all honesty . They are just grim . In these circumstances I wouldn’t blame him that much though . I think a lot of men have a warped view that women want to see this type of thing . Maybe some women do I don’t actually know but of all the women I know I don’t know anyone that wound . I don’t think it’s something worth hating him over though just tell him you aren’t into that and see what happens. If he can’t accept that move on .

Thank you. I have said before this to my friends and family, if we don't meet tomorrow then that is it. His reason did sound genuine before and we have definitely not had the time to see eachother since. But if it doesn't happen tomorrow then I had already decided I would be done.
Good point around false intimacy. It does feel like we know eachother and I do feel it is a higher level of intimacy there. I have blocked and deleted men who tried the sex chat or sent dick pics in the past. But wr hadn't had 2 months of him not being that way.

Some others here are also seeing it in the way that maybe he could be joking. He could be. I dont know. Was hoping maybe all would say I am a prude or all would say yeah he a dick pix addict who sending these out to everyone.

If he doesn't message me back after my "haha I don't want a dick pic" followed by how was your day, then I guess he will shine the light as to who he was all along

Sending each other provocative photos when you haven’t even met is as unnecessary as not meeting for two months.

How is he going to have an actual relationship if his work prevents him from any opportunity to meet up with someone for sixty days?

You know, you’ve not met him yet, he’s been messaging for two months and now he’s wanting to do that 🤮 you might get on the date and have zero chemistry, not fancy him or whatever.

I’d be knocking this one on the head.

My impression from what you’ve said is that he is a player and you have developed intense thoughts over a lengthy period without meeting him. You sound honest and as if you have spent a lot of time trying to think carefully about this - viewing it as a potential relationship. Speaking to someone every day who you’ve never met in person sounds very unusual. I think there is a high possibility of getting hurt and upset. I would guess he’s not available for the kind of relationship you may want.

I thought that, but as it goes on it would be different because of things like I go to gym by his work so he could see me after and before his late shift. Also we havnt seen eachother in weekend nights as i don't want to drive around on weekend nights. Plus other nights if it was a casual I will come to you between shifts. It could work. But at these early days I only want to see someone away from my home and also when I got my best face on. Even though the nikino shots I have shared are makeup free and not me done up and looking the most sexy I could be. They are not provoking pics. Just me

This is my worry after last night. I didnt feel that worry before then

Throw this one back. He doesn’t sound like he’s for you. He certainly wouldn’t be for me. Yuk.

Can't see what he's done wrong. He never sent you a dick pic, just suggested it, and you encouraged him by agreeing to him sending a half naked one, told him how hot he looked and sent a half naked one back.

But I don't think it's going to work out - two months chatting and having mild sex chats without meeting seems a bit too long. I don't think it's a good idea to have any sort of sex chat with someone you've not yet met

LOL, he was going to send you a dick pic like it was some special treat for you.

That pisses me off so much - when men think that it's our loss if we cut off sex talk and the line is 'well, i was gonna...' stfu.

Sorry OP. Only you can decide if you've got the ick now, or if you want to try and see what hes like face to face. Wish you all the best though

I think the whole thing, regardless of pictures, seems to be a waste of time. If it’s taken two months to meet up because of his shifts, your commitments and the distance how on Earth would this develop in to a relationship?

Am I reading this right,? He sent you a naked pic and you hadn't even met??

Jesus, is that what happens these days??

Yeah i agree, all sex chat should have been avoided. And it was up until last weekend. But to clarify last weekend we didn't actually talk about sex. Just liking photos and I didn't have as many of him, then he said would I like him to send that pic, and as I said in my OP he said promise not a sick pic. I said good. I said this is as much as I am willing to send. Makeup free bikini shots that are more pretty with nice background than sexy. We give flattery back but no sex talk. Last night was the only close to sex talk but ended pretty swiftly with my I need to sleep.

He has actually said in between then of doing a quick date as I had bank holiday off, but I said I would rather wait to do it properly as I knew he wouldn't have had no sleep in the hours I was available. I think with time that would be different and we could meet for shorter times or in between doing stuff. And if we could stay at eachothers places. I just wanted the 1st date to be right.

I do think he was just drunk and carried away last night. But at the same time worry he could have many drunk carried away nights where all these random have his dick pic. But others seem to think also it could have just been a joke. Think I need to just meet and see what happens. Ask about whether dick pics sent out a few dates in if we get that far

Sounds like a classic case of far too much contact. If you are sending thousands of messages, chances are some are going to be not taken as intended. My spidey sense tells me he's wasting your time anyway and the date won't happen. It's a shame but don't invest so much time and hope before meeting someone.

Yeah I'm worrying about this. Kind of convinced myself this contact is going to end tomorrow anyway. It had to have a final deadline

No he wasn't naked. Covered the parts you can't expose in public. But did suggest he would have sent a dick pics last night which I didn't like as makes me feel many others could have them of him. Some people are into this thing, exchanging nudes, that much is well known and I wouldn't shame any which like it. But it isn't what I want and that is OK too

Jeepers - the poor bloke made a joke 🥴

A vast amount of overthinking happening all round here

He's married - and playing you

What makes you think that? I know his shift patterns, they roll on a cycle, same 2,2,2 of each hours, then 3 days off and repeat. He is definitely not married

Hope this is the case. I'm going with this. He has been so lovely, funny and genuine sounding until that point. I think maybe he just got drunk honey and carried away

But it sounds like he was just making a joke, based on the fact that you keep going on about it.

He didn’t actually send you anything you didn’t want. He asked your permission to send the other pic and you complimented him on it. He’s respected all the boundaries you’ve set and he hasn’t tried to make you send him anything.

My worry is that Iif i said yes when we havnt even met, he might have. So how many people would have his dick pics.

So what? Every woman he’s ever slept with has seen his cock anyway. What does it matter what he did with previous girlfriends? He’s not with them now. You can’t expect to police someone’s past sex life.

Has he texted back??

Two months is way too long to chat without meeting. You wind up setting yourself up for disappointment because you’re building up all these expectations around a person you don’t actually know. Talking in person is very different to talking online.

Yeah he has. Just normal chat now