AIBU to feel upset by partner opposing my breast reduction?

[GreatMintPeer]

I have 2 DCs (17y and 18 months). I have always had very large breasts and at my age (50) now that I’ve finished breastfeeding after having my daughter very late, I have taken the decision to have a breast reduction. The level of back pain I have been experiencing lately has been extremely debilitating, and I also don’t like the way they look after having my DD.

My DP has been with me for just over a year and when I told him my plans he reacted with confusion, and then anger. I feel incredibly shocked and hurt by this as he has always been a sweet, loving supportive partner until now. I just can’t overlook such a possessive reaction over a decision I want to make about my own body; it’s not like I’m having a double mastectomy or they’ll suddenly be tiny, I just want them to be a more manageable and proportionate size. He thinks I’m being frivolous and selfish. What do I do?

What a prick, get rid of him.

Bin him off and have the surgery. It's your decision, not his.

I had a breast lift and reduction in my late forties. I wish it had been done much earlier; go for it and drop the boyfriend! This is a really good time for 'our bodies, ourselves.'

Ooh, he saw you coming @GreatMintPeer

A woman in her late 40s with a teenager and a little one, on her own. Financially stable. To him, you are a Mummy Meal Ticket.

There are lots of men like this. As the saying goes “There’s no man more in love than the man who needs a roof over his head”.

This. Honestly, is there no end to the ways men find to be selfish pricks?

I’m not planning on having it imminently, I’ve always thought of it; awful memories of school as a teenage girl have stuck with me into adulthood.

But yes I will wait to see how they look once I’ve recovered more, though I highly doubt I’ll change my mind on this.

He has just popped in and we had a talk. I explained that the way he reacted really hurt me and why it hurt me and he seemed to understand. I’ve asked for him to give me space for the time being but I’m starting to think this is something I can’t forgive, and everyone here seems to agree.

I don't think it's a matter of forgiveness with stuff like this OP, his reaction will have fundamentally changed the way you view and feel about him, and rightly so.

His first reaction was his true reaction. Get rid

A friend had a breast reduction, it completely changed her life. If they were his, he could do what he liked, but they're not.

Don't let him know that!

Yeah sweetie if he’s got issues with money and doesn’t feel you should have body autonomy then you need to end this.

It’s a thing on social media that men complain about the before and after pictures of women who have had reductions in a very objectifying way. So perhaps he’s feeling validated being a massive knob

You get rid of him. I’m enraged on your behalf.

Get your reduction and concentrate on your very young child OP, she needs stability and security not bellends like this in and out her life. Whatever you do don't marry him.

Dump him. What a loser.

Not to mention the teenager, who has been at college presumably throughout the birth of a new sibling and then the introduction of a new partner.

Like they say, no one so loving as a man who needs accommodation

Your body - your boobs - your choice

you do what’s right for you .

I’d put two watermelons in a plastic bag. Get him to carry that around with him everywhere for a couple of weeks. His thoughts might change.
Either I’d probably ditch him tbh and focus on the kids.

The red flags with this man are literally screaming. Nasty selfish money grabbing arsehole, would rather you be in agony so he can grift off you a bit more. This is disturbing and I’d be wary of his priorities and intentions.

This is v funny and right to the point.

Dump him, he should be on your side and he isn't

"he reacted with confusion, and then anger"

The anger is a real red flag.
If a man gets angry because his partner is taking action to improve her health, comfort and quality of life then he really is not a man to have around.

What else might make him angry? How angry might he get?

The "selfish comment belies an attitude I couldn't forgive. I know lots of men and many women dont necessarily immediately get the physical implications, but to whom does he think you'd be acting selfishly!?

This is a no brainer. Dump this man immediately and get your surgery. Concentrate on your family.