AIBU to feel upset by partner opposing my breast reduction?

[GreatMintPeer]

I have 2 DCs (17y and 18 months). I have always had very large breasts and at my age (50) now that I’ve finished breastfeeding after having my daughter very late, I have taken the decision to have a breast reduction. The level of back pain I have been experiencing lately has been extremely debilitating, and I also don’t like the way they look after having my DD.

My DP has been with me for just over a year and when I told him my plans he reacted with confusion, and then anger. I feel incredibly shocked and hurt by this as he has always been a sweet, loving supportive partner until now. I just can’t overlook such a possessive reaction over a decision I want to make about my own body; it’s not like I’m having a double mastectomy or they’ll suddenly be tiny, I just want them to be a more manageable and proportionate size. He thinks I’m being frivolous and selfish. What do I do?

Not his body, he can fuck off.

Only 5 pages and people still don’t bother to read all OP’s updates before posting… 🙄

@GreatMintPeer Well done you!! 👏🏻 🥳

Well done on dumping tit no. 1

I had my reduction 20 years ago, I’m a bit older than you but not much, my main motivation now is to keep active into my old age, I honestly think that would be almost impossible if I hadn’t had the reduction. Go for it.

I’m sorry @Butterme, but I laughed out loud at your suggestion that men aren’t interested in 50 year old women. I am happy to personally confirm, that very many men from 18 onwards, are very interested 🫣😂😜

I won’t comment on the massive tit you’ve already got rid of thank goodness but just came to say absolutely do have a breast reduction! I had 36Gs and had awful back pain so had a breast reduction in my 30s on the NHS but they were still quite big so a bit disappointed. I had two more children and they grew back to a 36H! So I had another one privately 4 years ago with a brilliant NHS breast surgeon who finally did what I had dreamed of since my teens! I’m now a perky 34C/D and don’t need a bra apart from at the gym. It’s changed my life! No more pain, clothes finally fit and I feel great. I hope it all goes well for you!

Ignore! I had one three years ago and it is the best thing I ever did and I did a dramatic size change! My husband knows it was the best thing for my health (back) and confidence

Can I ask, did he move in with you?
and you pay for most of this?

what does he exactly contribute to your life?

Not rocket science is it.

Ditch him.

You’ve done the right thing OP. He showed his true colours and you took swift action.

I agree!

Had far more men after me in the last five years than in the previous fifteen. And most of them are atleast ten years younger. I turned down one chap, a lovely guy and a friend I know through a hobby, because he is six months younger than my eldest son!

You’re a mature woman who is bossing it as a mother the second time round after a huge gap and who is clearly capable of managing your own life. You do not need some twat telling you what to do. Dump him and get the breast reduction.

I agree with your decision to end the relationship and hope the operation is a success, giving you the pain free life you wish for.

If only every woman did what you've done. You believed him when he told you who he was and acted accordingly.

Why the hell was he angry because your dishwasher was broken???

I'm also amazed you had a baby naturally at 48! wow!

Congratulations!!

You have done the right thing telling him it over. He has shown you now who he is and you have noticed this. He had no right opposing your breast reduction. I have a friend with big boobs and I have gone shopping with her. It hard to get tops that fit right. Even when she loses weight she still looks heavy because of her big boobs.
Then if the weight of them are causing you back and shoulder problems it worse.

If you can afford a breast reduction with a reputable surgeon in a proper hospital near where you live I would get this done. I would get your doctor's advice and make sure of the surgeon qualifications.
It will help you look and feel better also.

I know not the point but this made me laugh!

I had a breast reduction when I was 53 and it was the best decision I have ever made. I have always hated my large breasts. I went from a 32gg to a 32b. My husband was so supportive which is how it should be but even if he wasn't I would have done it anyway. I would urge you to go ahead with your plans it's been life changing for me.

I'm older than you and my larger than average boobs not causing back/neck pain (under boobs soreness can be a nuisance though) My partner of over 40 years loves my boobs but should I decide to have a reduction for health or cosmetic reasons he would support me all the way. If you can afford it and have support to help you post-op then go for it once your body has settled after breastfeeding your little one.

He seems like a chancer.

I’d be dubious of any man who tried to seduce me while I was out with my young dc.

Tell him to fuck off and dump him. I had one greedy boyfriend who used to ask about money all the time. It’s your body. I got a boob job at 18 and didn’t ask for my boyfriend at the times permission. I just went ahead and did it. If he had tried to stop me, he would have been dumped. Comes across as controlling.

You've probably stopped looking at these comments but just to jump on and say I think you're incredible. I'm sorry people were so vile at your baby news, in this day and age you would think people wouldn't be so nasty and that actually it's a wonderful miracle and hope for other women the same age who want children.
You're 50, two children and extremely independent. I'm glad for you that you've sent this man packing, you've lived a whole life before him and you do what you like with your breasts, you don't need him 🩷 I don't know you but I'm proud of how you handled this. Well done bad *ss mumma 🩷🩷

You could be the only person in the world to have a tit reduction and have a knob removed. Bin him off.

I don't know you OP, but I am so bloody proud of you that you dumped him. What an absolute prick.

Yes, end it. Sounds like he preys on vulnerable women, maybe thinks he can control you!!

I would have more sympathy here if this was your devoted husband of 20 years.

But a partner you’ve known for one year gets no say at all. I’m afraid it feels horrible to me, like he is only attracted to you because of your chest.

This cheeky fuckwit has some audacity! Red flag walking. Imagine thinking, on any level, you have the right to be angry about someone else’s decisions about their own body. Imagine what else he’ll soon have opinions about. Dump him OP

I’m also so pleased that OP decided to end the relationship. Definitely the right decision. Well done from so many of us here on MN that saw the red flags.

I hope you get your reduction OP and it makes things much better for you.