Some girls don’t look after their hair and it gets bugs in it

[Fishfingerssmellfishy]

The class assistant in Dd’s class told her today, after putting up her hair…again
Dd has just past shoulder length, curly hair, it’s tricky to style and takes a long time. Dd is Nd and hates having her hair done.
Sometimes I can get it into a nice french plait, normal plait, ponytail or bun if she’s having a calm morning before school. Sometimes I can’t and I pick my battles and sometimes she simply wants to wear it down, so we do.
With it being curly and her running around, it invariably gets a little messy.
Recently, Dd has been coming home with it in a quite messy ponytail and telling me the classroom assistant keeps doing it

Aibu to find this a bit annoying/feel a bit offended?

Where is this load of utter garbage coming from in this thread.

I never had nits at school with very long, thick wavy hair and it was never tied up.

My children also with very long thick hair never ever tied their hair up and never had nits.

Honestly the perpetuation of complete stereotypical, old wives tales is crazy. Long hair that is not tied back does not equal nits!!! 😤

Yabu. Nits not bugs which makes you sound nasty and horrible are in clean hair not dirty. It make sense to put hair up or cut it short at primary school and it's in my primary school uniform policy that long hair needs to put up. Your child with long untied back hair is at high risk of passing her nits into other children.

I’d rather have a TA who hadn’t been to charm school than lice.

@YourShyLionyou were lucky then! It doesn’t stop the fact that nits spread very easily and having hair tied back can help avoid spread.

Standard policy in many schools for long hair to be tied up. It’s specifically to stop nits spreading when their hair touches. Just tie her hair up before school.

Long loose hair in school often = nits. Nits are rife in schools nowadays.

Good luck with that in schools these days. Don't get me started on threadworms either. Also rife in schools and nurseries.

So staff can’t comfort children or help them when they fall but they can style their hair ?
I’d be telling her to keep off your DD’s hair

I know it's difficult but I would be making the effort to put your DD's hair up in the morning. My DD is also ND and hates having her hair brushed and I've just had to spend the last month nit combing her hair after her brother brought them home. Honestly it's been beyond tough. Lots of screaming, crying and meltdowns both because she can't deal with either bugs in her hair or the fine toothed nit comb. I think the TA is trying to do you a favour. Also don't rely on a letter home as that usually means the parent of the child with headlice has been responsible, treated their child and informed school. There is absolutely no need for a parent to tell the school though.

Are you sure your DD isnt asking her to put it up? Is it getting in the way? I imagine you are only getting part of the story here.

Hair tied back at school has been a rule at schools in the UK for about the last 100 years.

Teachers enforced it when I was at school in the 80s and still do now my daughters are at primary school.

It needs to be tied back every day. Doesn’t have to be an elaborate French plait, a low pony tail in a simple hair band will do.

I imagine there’s no school rule at many places now because there are children who can’t tolerate particular hair styles.

If they can tolerate it though - hair needs to be tied back in some environments. I can’t wear my hair down at work - my choices are tie it back or cut it short - and it’s not ok to wear it down for schooling either. Hair shouldn’t be in the way when playing sport, cooking, or participating in art or science classes.

This isn’t really about the TA but about appropriate choices for school, where able.

Yeah it’s only at abiut 60-80% after a Google so it’s more common than not despite anecdotal examples.

*A genuine sensory issue?!

If there's a school rule about having hair tied up/ away from the face, then she's NBU.

If there's a general hair rule that makes life difficult for your ND child, I'd seek an exemption while assuring the school you'll do your best with the hair.

If this is just a TA with a bee in her bonnet and too much time on her hands, YANBU.

If there's an outbreak of headlice in the class and the teacher hasn't informed parents, she should have done so. If there are no lice and there's no school rule, then the TA needs to find something else to do with all that energy.

Frankly, that all sounds like a you problem.

Why would the TA have mentioned bugs if not to coax the child into letting the TA tie it up?

Same. All five DCs wore their hair however they wanted and we never got nits. Weirdly, they all managed to do science and four years of daily PE in high school without setting themselves alight or running into walls. The only rule about their science classes was 'no open toed footwear'.

Maybe I'm being silly here but I can't see how tying hair up prevents head lice? Dont they congregate in the scalp not on the ends of hair?

Yeah they really don't care. Your daughter needs to wear her hair appropriately for school.

Sorry but if they are using Bunsen burners hair MUST be tied back. If the school didn't insist thenthey were being negligent.

my DD’s old primary had a rule of hair up. Thank God really as she already got nits several times. Never again after a good friend moved (she had kids in my DD’s class; and my DS’s), don’t think they repeated the treatment a week later. DD only wore her hair down once in secondary school. I’d tie it up, as nits is so easily spread.

Maybe not the best thing to say, and it’s not very educated as you can take all precautions and still get nits as mine did multiple times and I tied it up daily and checked regularly.

I agree. Some parents are just so precious about every little thing!. Kids are wrapped up in cotton wool and grow up not being able to cope with anything !. Exhausting!. I see nothing wrong with what the TA said and with tying up her hair as long as its not tied tightly. Loose long hair gets in the way of everything.

They don't care in terms of intentions and personal preference.

Technically clean hair will get slightly higher incidents overall though, as it is slightly easier for them to get infested than dirty and greasy hair that makes it harder for the initial lice to get established.

So the end result is the same as lice "preferring" clean hair. But it's not a choice made by them or something that specifically attracts more attempts, just the practical reality that less attempts made will succeed by a small amount.

Yeah, I get that. Lots of things don’t gross me out at all but sometimes watching long and wild hair being unwittingly dipped into/brushed against various gross things did make me feel quite sick. I always thought that if the parent actually saw they’d tie their child’s hair back.