Some girls don’t look after their hair and it gets bugs in it

[Fishfingerssmellfishy]

The class assistant in Dd’s class told her today, after putting up her hair…again
Dd has just past shoulder length, curly hair, it’s tricky to style and takes a long time. Dd is Nd and hates having her hair done.
Sometimes I can get it into a nice french plait, normal plait, ponytail or bun if she’s having a calm morning before school. Sometimes I can’t and I pick my battles and sometimes she simply wants to wear it down, so we do.
With it being curly and her running around, it invariably gets a little messy.
Recently, Dd has been coming home with it in a quite messy ponytail and telling me the classroom assistant keeps doing it

Aibu to find this a bit annoying/feel a bit offended?

I have a dd with curly hair, also autistic. Nits are an absolute nightmare and you need to tie it back every day in primary. Its school rules for us. Thankfully they mostly bugger off by secondary

I know exactly what it says

Reasonable adjustments sometimes mean a change can be made to enable something to happen, sometimes the change needed is unreasonable.

It entirely depends on the situation.

Some other girls' PARENTS don't look after them and they do pass untreated problems round.

School staff will know if there are repeatedly outbreaks of nits and probably where they repeatedly come from or aren't dealt with,and aren't out of order to explain it simply and neutrally.

It's entirely normal to tie long hair up at school for hygiene and practical reasons. Many schools expect this and enforce as part of uniform rules.

Well even when your autistic child has a parent well versed in inclusion, schools will still exclude. It was only a month ago my own child was excluded from an activity they had been working towards for months due to a reasonable adjustments they needed, and which was advised but the GP, but they were still excluded from taking part as it would make them (school) look bad. The decision was made without me being informed in enough time to argue it but they have had a strongly worded email about it since and that this is an adjustment that needs adding to her plan. It doesn’t effect any health and safety (other than my child’s if the adjustment isn’t made) and basically school is worried about what other parents/kids might say. It’s infuriating.

I really don’t agree with excluding pupils from taking part in activities. I’ve fought it over the years. Compromises for my child to be able to take part in some activities has been ridiculous - one was a parent had to take the day off work to accompany her on a school trip, another was a retired grandparent had to accompany her to a school activity for a whole term (working parents can’t tell that much time off work especially ones that work in schools). Neither behaviour related but deemed something the school weren’t prepared to support.

For sensory related things like tying hair back, wearing protective helmets or other protective wear, things like gradual exposure can help. I’ve worked in send settings where this has happened so that a child can eventually take part in something. I’m not sure anyone would allow a child to abseil down a cliff edge without a harness for example, or a helmet.

Schools cannot use health and safety as a blanket excuse to avoid making adjustments. In many cases, risks can be reduced through reasonable adjustments rather than excluding a disabled person.

Lots of things that can be looked at in all sorts of situations.

Do you think a child should be allowed to partake in practicals in D&T/ science/ food if they won't tie up their hair because they are autistic?

I would say the reasonable adjustment is your choice of hairstyle and hairband, otherwise no practical. Physical safety must come first.

All sorts of things can be looked at.

Please, do elaborate.

Reasonable adjustment, key word 'reasonable'.

Not my job, classroom, lesson, building, environment, class etc. All will vary as will what can be looked at. But the fact is you have to try to come up with reasonable adjustments Schools are legally obliged to work with the pupil, their family and any other professionals involved.

A Bunsen burner is a Bunsen burner whatever the context..

As a teacher I'm also curious as to who you think should be making such decisions.

Yep and just a blanket banning of a child without thinking of ways they can access a lesson is not ok.

Ok so if it's not ok you're welcome to come up with a solution as well as suggest who you think is responsible for the solution.

Nobody can unless they are familiar with the child, building, classroom, lesson etc

The TA is coming from a good place. Prevention is better than cure when it comes to head lice. And it doesn't sound as if it's a rule, more of a recommendation. Maybe the TA knows another kid has hot them, and your dd was in close proximity.

Isn't that just what people say so that the nitty kids don't get bullied? I doubt that the nits would be fussed about cleanliness.

Sorry but what an absolute cop out. Really shows your lack of understanding on this issue.

😆No it shows your unwillingness to explore all options as clearly each individual case varies and will alter what adjustments can be considered .

You are over thinking this and yes hair should be tied back at school

You haven't provided a single example of any other possible adjustments. Like I've said (multiple times) a piece of equipment is a piece of equipment, if there is a risk from long loose hair then the equipment cannot be used.

I've also asked you who should make those decisions. You know in the real world, beyond 'people who know and have a relationship with the child'. So is that the teacher in that particular class? The subject lead? Deputy head? SENDCO? Neither, all?

It's all good and well claiming it's unfair but you've not made any suggestions or solutions.

As a teacher I'm unwilling to allow a child to risk setting themselves on fire in my care. If you're saying I'm breaking the law, tell me what should happen next.

Absolutely.

Sometimes, no amount of reasonable adjustments can make an activity accessible to someone, be that due to physical limitations or safety.

At my children's school long hair has to be tied back (until the last year - who have the privilege to be allowed their hair down - as long as they can put it back up themselves if needed).

It does keep the spread of nits down.

DS had to just deal with it - he didn't want his hair tied back, took a couple of months of coaxing, but now he does it himself (including to eat dinner so he doesn't get his hair in his food). So it's a good safety rule, and a good skill to have.

As an adjustment, DS wore a hat for a while, with his hair tucked into it, until he was comfortable with having his hair tied back - how about that?

Are primary school students really in mortal danger because of having their hair loose?

You're really over egging this souffle.

No, it's a recognised fact that they prefer clean hair.

What to know about head lice - Mayo Clinic Health System https://share.google/sdETCOr6ujaioNrhJ