to want to carry on working so I do not end up doing childcare?

[skizz]

I mentioned to my DC that I was thinking about retiring, just exploring options, nothing even decided yet. Their immediate response was along the lines of “oh that would be perfect, you could help with childcare, school pickups, when they are ill, that sort of thing.”

I actually do not want to give up work and slide into being on-call childcare. I like working. I like having my own routine, my own space and my own independence. The idea that any flexibility automatically gets translated into availability for childcare does not appeal to me whatsoever.

I have friends who do regular childcare for their grandchildren and honestly they are constantly picking up bugs, dealing with sickness, plans being cancelled last minute because a child is ill. It looks absolutely exhausting. It is not how they imagined retirement but they got railroaded into it by their daughters/DILs.

I would rather keep working than be doing childcare.

There's nothing wrong with that. Be honest with them. Cheeky to assume you'd automatically
do it.

Just set boundaries- no, I don’t want to do that.

Book a few holidays before you retire. Sounds like hell.

they got railroaded into it by their daughters/DILs.

It seems OP that you are blaming other women (and only women, not the childrens' fathers) for your inability to set clear boundaries.

No need to start a thread about it there's enough around already.
There was a very good one but I don't remember the title etc.
Just tell your kids to pay a separate enterprise for their offspring.

Mind your own business, anyone can start a thread on what they like, unless obviously it is offensive. You are not the thread police.

it is not how they imagined retirement but they got railroaded into it by their daughters/DILs.

Where are the sons in law and sons in these situations?

Yep, you're not wrong, this is why you do voluntary work or at least say you do voluntary work

Surely not another post about grandparents and childcare?

Why are there suddenly so many threads on this topic??

So just tell your DC no. It’s not hard.

Yes, I wouldn't normally comment on someone starting a similar thread but it seems like Grandparents have been invented this week on here.

Why did you need to be so rude? This is a discussion forum, where people come to speak to other people. Why shouldn't she start her own thread?

Saying no to them because you want to enjoy your retirement would be fine. Continuing to work past retirement age because you enjoy work would be fine.
I find it odd that you'd consider not retiring just to avoid being asked to do some childcare. Are your GC that bad that you'd rather opt out of retirement so you can avoid a bit of childcare?

How am I blaming other women? I am repeating what they said to me.

Staying out of it. The expectations are much higher for women than for men.

The GC are not bad. I just don't want to do childcare. It is not a bit of childcare. It would be school pick ups which is a lot.

YANBU to not want to do regular childcare, or sickness childcare.
YABU to think that the only way out of this is to keep working rather than just saying no. Surely your children have been told no by you before.

Set some boundaries then and do your bit to push back on "expectations are much higher for women than for men."

Theres the judgement right there

So much for 'just say no' and 'boundaries'

You are an exact example of why OP feels the need to manufacture her life so that she is literally not avaible.

Your friends are blaming other women then and you are repeating it.

YABU here. So the men stay out of it, act like childcare materialises from the sky by magic, leave their partners scrabbling around to get it sorted, AND manage to avoid getting the blame from the generation above.

Don’t do childcare you don’t want to do though. That’s perfectly reasonable.

Do you never repeat what someone says to you when in conversation?

Is it time to move?