These men NEVER wake up and reflect on being a better man independently.
They just get worse, a lot worse if it is tolerated.
He's an abusive loser who really thinks he can punish and threaten the OP.
Her mother has the measure of him.
The only marriages that survive such selfish pricks are when women hold the line and tell them crack on, pack up, and move the hell out.
The shock can sort them.
An old friend of mine married one such prick.
Once she finally woke up she put him on notice and to this day 30 years later, she doesn't take an ounce of nonsense from him.
He was spectacularly selfish when her twin boys were born and she battled on alone until they they started school and she resumed working full-time.
Money is strictly separate and she will not pay one penny more than 50%., he is a vie principal so on a good salary too.
Her husband developed very painful arthritis which put a stop to his endless sports outings which had dominated her childrens childhood while she did it all.
She never helped, eased or accommodated his illness.
If he is in pain and complains, she quietly raises her eyes to heaven.
Why she remained married is beyond me, but she lives a completely independent life of him.
She is very Catholic and quietly doesn't want to divorce, so she avoids him and has for years.
She has two lovely sons that spend zero time with their father, very "Cats in the cradle" ish.