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AIBU?

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Dh in mood as I said I may get mcdonalds for my dinner he said its selfish

557 replies

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 16:06

Hey mn!
I have just read some other posters complaining about their partners wow there seems to be a lot. I don't want that to cloud my judge ie being angry on their behalf and therefore my dh is wrong.
So I am asking here.
My baby who is 9months woke at 830am and hasn't napped today. She fought her last two naps and I have wasted an hr each time trying to get baby to nap. She usually naps but the last few days she seems more active. With no naps I have found it really impacts my night when baby doesn't nap, she has a bad night. So I have gotten ready. Dh who works from home popped downstairs and asked how day is going. I said its been full on she hasnt napped! He looked at her and said "cheeky" she laughed!
I said I was going a drive as she will nap in the car. I said I was thinking of getting a Starbucks via drive thru so I am not just driving around. At least it'll give me a destination! Then I thought ohh i could get a McDonald's! That'll sort my dinner out. Baby will nap in car. Dh then told me that was weird. I'm a grown women. And then.... wait for it... what about him? I offered to bring him mcdonalds and he said no. I then laughed and said you are a grown man I'm sure you can sort dinner. He stormed away saying "dont treat me like a child!".
Am i wrong?! He has never acted like this!!!!!!
What would you do??

OP posts:
Marmalade71 · 14/04/2026 18:34

Just seen your update - he ate them precisely because he knew it would upset you and now you won’t want to risk “disrespecting” him again.

What a cunt.

FlyingApple · 14/04/2026 18:34

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:27

He said he feels bad for eating baby snacks. But I did offer him one earlier. Yeah, 1!! He then said he couldn't stop as they were so nice so compliments to the chef. He then says anyone would be happy their husband likes their cooking. I said it was the baby snacks!!!! U couldn't control yourself or was this to punish me?? He then said not everything is about me and walked out. I texted my mum and she just texted "wanker"

He is incredibly manipulative, he must think you're stupid. Faux compliments to gaslight you into accepting his horrible behaviour. I don't usually say this but he's genuinely a twat.

LizandDerekGoals · 14/04/2026 18:35

I bet your mum has thought that he is a wanker for a while and is now relieved you see him for what he is.

nomas · 14/04/2026 18:38

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:27

He said he feels bad for eating baby snacks. But I did offer him one earlier. Yeah, 1!! He then said he couldn't stop as they were so nice so compliments to the chef. He then says anyone would be happy their husband likes their cooking. I said it was the baby snacks!!!! U couldn't control yourself or was this to punish me?? He then said not everything is about me and walked out. I texted my mum and she just texted "wanker"

Hide all cooking and baking from now on. He gets nothing.

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:38

Honestly he isnt usually like this but saying that he has been a bit off since last night. Baby went down and I said to him "its upto you what you do but baby is asleep and I think we would both really benefit from an early night" he smiled and then I said "oh to clarify, I don't mean for sex, I am still om my periods and absolutely knackered". He then said "alright!" Very abruptly. For context, yes our sex life has taken a hit but we are having sex about once a week and in-between we are still affection everyday lots of hugs, little kisses etc.

OP posts:
driftingdownintomiami · 14/04/2026 18:41

That just underlines that he thinks of you as a functional object that's not doing what it should for him.

Keroppi · 14/04/2026 18:45

He's a selfish controlling man baby, time to withhold all cooking and cleaning and maybe try and go back to work soon

He will still be expecting you to do all cleaning cooking and childcare once you're back at work, too.

MimiSunshine · 14/04/2026 18:46

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:27

He said he feels bad for eating baby snacks. But I did offer him one earlier. Yeah, 1!! He then said he couldn't stop as they were so nice so compliments to the chef. He then says anyone would be happy their husband likes their cooking. I said it was the baby snacks!!!! U couldn't control yourself or was this to punish me?? He then said not everything is about me and walked out. I texted my mum and she just texted "wanker"

No that’s not why he ate them all. He’s just back tracking and trying to confuse you.
he sent you a message morning that the pastries weren’t good enough for a grown man’s dinner.

bow he’s making out he just wanted a snack but got carried away.
hd absolutely did it to punish you.

ByRealOtter · 14/04/2026 18:53

Your mother is 100% correct.

PumpkinScarf · 14/04/2026 18:55

Wow I’m with your mum on this one!

Tacohill · 14/04/2026 19:13

Many times men show their true colours after their partner has had a child and suddenly they’re not the centre of attention anymore.

I hope this isn’t what’s happening here but honestly his behaviour is pathetic.

I don’t know if I’ve ever known a man acting so childish and vindictive over something so minor.
And he carried it on!

Collapsiblechairwithacushion · 14/04/2026 19:15

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:38

Honestly he isnt usually like this but saying that he has been a bit off since last night. Baby went down and I said to him "its upto you what you do but baby is asleep and I think we would both really benefit from an early night" he smiled and then I said "oh to clarify, I don't mean for sex, I am still om my periods and absolutely knackered". He then said "alright!" Very abruptly. For context, yes our sex life has taken a hit but we are having sex about once a week and in-between we are still affection everyday lots of hugs, little kisses etc.

Edited

I don't know about you, OP, but the sort of behaviour you've had to witness today from your (D?)H would put me right off! He'd have to make a big effort before I could be bothered to have sex with him again. He can make a start by making another batch of pastries for the baby.

Hammy19 · 14/04/2026 19:15

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 17:59

Mcdonalds hasnt been worth it now 😔

And that's exactly why he's done it. To punish you and stop you ever treating yourself again

And taken something nice away from his own child to do so

PleaseAccepyMyUserNames · 14/04/2026 19:17

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 14/04/2026 16:13

My reading of it was you only offered to bring him some after he asked? Not before.

Oh no!!!! How will he ever get over it 😂
Have 2 maccies OP, and a flurry, just out of spite

Bristolandlazy · 14/04/2026 19:18

Give him the recipe, he can replace them, he's being a dick

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 14/04/2026 19:22

PleaseAccepyMyUserNames · 14/04/2026 19:17

Oh no!!!! How will he ever get over it 😂
Have 2 maccies OP, and a flurry, just out of spite

Sigh. And as I said to someone else who quoted me, I was just trying to understand what had happened and when given OPs initial post was rather incoherent 😊

Whatthefork1 · 14/04/2026 19:24

Absolutely crazy! You did nothing wrong and he is being really immature. Eating babies snacks that you made would send me over the edge , he’s done that out of spite. Not cool.

Applecup · 14/04/2026 19:27

Really spiteful.

Loub1987 · 14/04/2026 19:28

He ate his childs food?! God, I don’t think I could be around him. He chose himself over his child. That’s pretty pathetic and gross.

Sorry @Tomcdonaldaornot, he’s an idiot. I wouldn’t stay around.

RJMacReady · 14/04/2026 19:29

Omg 😳 I'm with your Mum on this one - what a knob!

StandingDeskDisco · 14/04/2026 19:32

You can't brush this under the carpet and pretend it all never happened. He needs to know how angry you are.

He was annoyed that you were not making dinner for him - because he sees that as your job. You exist to serve him.
Then to spite you he deliberately ate the babies pastries and made a comment about them not being good enough for a 'grown man's dinner'. The comment was to drive home to you the point that you should have made him a "man's" dinner, not offered a McD's.

Then when challenged, he tried to back-pedal and make excuses about them being delicious, instead of sincerely apologising.

You need to look long and hard at the lack of equality and respect in your relationship.
Did his mother do everything? Was she a slave to the menfolk? If so, that is all he knows, that is where he gets his expectations from. So you will have to spell out to him loudly and clearly every time he is being sexist or treating you as anything less than his equal. Exhausting, but it needs to be done.

Go back to work ASAP - even if the childcare costs your whole salary. This is not about money, it is about firstly making sure you don't become his domestic appliance and servant, and secondly securing your future. Staying in the workforce protects your career and pension.

When you are back at work, it will be easier to set clear expectations of who cooks on which nights, who puts baby to bed on which nights, who does which chores, who gets which night off for themselves, etc.

OriginalUsername2 · 14/04/2026 19:33

He gets angry about you having a McDonald’s because “you’re a grown woman” and then literally eats the baby’s food for dinner… my oh my.

Matronic6 · 14/04/2026 19:33

What a fucking loser. He literally ate his child's food to spite you and is now backtracking as he knows he's been an absolute wanker. A grown up can prepare his own dinner, he's not one he's a fucking man child who is having a tantrum.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 14/04/2026 19:41

Enjoy your McDonald’s! If you do take him some food home, make sure it’s a happy meal. You don’t want him having another tantrum x

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 14/04/2026 19:43

Tomcdonaldaornot · 14/04/2026 18:38

Honestly he isnt usually like this but saying that he has been a bit off since last night. Baby went down and I said to him "its upto you what you do but baby is asleep and I think we would both really benefit from an early night" he smiled and then I said "oh to clarify, I don't mean for sex, I am still om my periods and absolutely knackered". He then said "alright!" Very abruptly. For context, yes our sex life has taken a hit but we are having sex about once a week and in-between we are still affection everyday lots of hugs, little kisses etc.

Edited

Sorry Op! I should have read all your updates.
He’s awful.
You deserve better

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