Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

I wouldnt send my child to this nursery.

If your child is happy what's the problem?

What is it you are actually worried about happening?

Are they good nursery teachers? I would expect a yes they are as they are employed. Their gender isn't my business.

What exactly do you think is going to happen?

No. Nope. Absolutely not. No. No way.

HTH

Are you worried they'll push through trans agenda?

It would be a no from me too. I don’t want my child growing up with the false notion that you can change sex.

Just because they are hired, doesn’t mean they are good? I don’t know as I haven’t met them. One is new as of this week and the other works at a different setting.

YANBU to feel uncomfortable, that's up to you. Your feelings are your right to experience. And if you wish it's your right to move your child to another nursery. Though you won't necessarily find they only employ staff you're comfortable with. You likely wouldn't even know if your key worker, who you thought was female, was a trans woman.

But it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, whether the workers are women, men, trans, non-binary, couldn't care less.

Plenty will tell you that someone’s “gender expression” should not make any difference to you and the nursery is free to employ whom they choose.

Equally you are free to send your child to the nursery of your choice. I know I would be looking for somewhere else.

But you trust the other nursery teachers employed?

Combination of normalising the idea that you can change sex. Normalising regressive gender stereotypes (ie if you are stereotypically different from your sex, it’s because you are the opposite sex) and of course I am slightly worried about abuse, less so that from the female member who identifies as male.

The only issue I would have here is how their mental health is and are they appropriately managing that to work with young children.

Lots of very young (I am not generalizing or looking to be inflammatory or trying to cause offense) trans people that I have met have had significant mental health issues and as a nursery manager this would be something I would be concerned/conscious of.

No thanks, I wouldn’t like that. There’s been cases recently of male nursery workers abusing children, I wouldn’t want a man in a dress near to my child.

What about their sex? Is that your business? Would you want a trans woman (man) helping your DD use the toilet or changing her nappy?

As much as it’s possible to trust people you don’t know to look after your children. It obviously highlights how little control you have over your children when they are cared for by others.

I wouldn't mind. It's a nursery teacher.

This too 💯

I wouldn't like it. My concern would be with the fact that a woman was being introduced to my very young child as a man. I wouldn't want my nursery age child being exposed to the idea that people can change sex, or being told that an obviously female person is actually a man.
Whether I actually moved her would depend on how much I liked the nursery otherwise, and what alternatives were available, but if I left her there is be tempted to ask some questions of the staff about what the children were told about this person.

True. But I don't get that sex is a thing trusting nursery teachers or not.

What do I need educating in?

My worry would be that gender - which is a load of stereotypes and regressive ideology - would become both accepted and promoted in an educational setting to the detriment of the children. Its hard enough for small children who are beginning to decipher sex to understand that short hair doesnt make you a boy, or liking pink a girl. That what's between your legs doesn't define your personality.

Same.