Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

So what is the difference between a male with a trans identity and a transvestite?

But a chap in a red suit with a beard that everyone insists is called Santa and will deliver presents to every child in the world on the same night is fine right?

Because pretending is fine if it's "magic". Because magic is real isnt it - scientifically and as a concept 😂

They have the right to work in a childcare settings, the same as men, same as women.

Agreed. And the same as any other men or women working in a childcare setting they are not allowed to push a political or religious stance such as ‘gender’ or ‘trans’ onto children.

That means no male people telling kids that he is ‘really a girl’, no telling kids to use incorrect pronouns for his sex and no telling kids that they can choose their ‘gender’ (when they are using it as a synonym for sex) when they grow up. (And vice versa for female people)

It also means no wearing of fetish related clothing or anything that could be construed as such in a childcare setting. As female clothing is a commonly known fetish for men I think it prudent to disallow all wearing of obviously female coded clothing for men around children.

Equal treatment for all would be a fine achievement.

Take a look at this video, https://share.google/djGQHXvFWU9O3aXYE

1min

If that man actually believed he was Santa, lived as Santa all year round, and was trying to teach reindeer to fly, and made everyone else call him and treat him as Santa, all of the time, if his belief that he was Santa meant he tried to oppress other beliefs that he was not, I would continue that he probably shouldn’t be working around children in a nursery.

His belief system is not the obligation of everyone else to validate. And children are strictly off limits for validating any adults delusions.

@Wearenotborg
A trans woman is a person assigned male at birth who identifies and lives as a woman, representing a gender identity. A transvestite (or cross-dresser) is someone who occasionally wears clothing associated with the opposite sex but typically identifies with their birth sex.

The key difference is identity versus temporary, behavior-based dressing.

Trans woman is a gender identity, a social construct. Society and the law recognise this, you can personally disagree and deny their existence, it doesn't make it fact.

Yes. This highly contested and politicised area of ‘social constructs’ is not suitable for children and adults in childcare should keep their views on this topic to themselves.

Wearing a piece of jewellery or acknowledging a sneeze is not the same as telling a little boy who likes dolls that he could become a woman if he takes harmful drugs and removes his penis.

HTH.

You are also conflating cross dressing males with trans women.

Why do you think that trans workers in nurseries will be sharing this information with children? Introducing themself as their chosen name or Miss/Mr X and expecting a child to accept and use their chosen name is not unreasonable.

I don't know why you are so convinced every trans person will be insisting children are made explicitly aware of their gender and biological sex. Where is the evidence of this beyond your own opinion?

Children are very accepting of face value.
And also, do you know any nursery workers or teachers? Kids call them everything from Miss to Mum to Dad to thingy and everything in between!

Ensuring no adult has opportunity in a setting to be able to abuse a child and that children are taught to keep their private areas private based on their age, its irrelevant whether Miss has a penis because it's not something they need to be aware of!!

Who is actually doing this though?
Why are you so insistent that this is the reality?

If any person - trans or not - says to a child "you can become a woman if you take drugs and cut off your penis" then they are acting extremely unprofessionally and should be fired.

HTH.

You are conflating trans women with transvestites. They are not the same.

I’m glad you have acknowledged that transvestites exist, we used to get told off for that so we’re obviously getting somewhere.

How can we tell the difference between the following:

a transvestite,
a ‘transwoman’
a transvestite that calls himself a ‘transwoman’ (like so many of them do these days)?

Should a transvestite be allowed to work in a nursery?

Where are these reports you refer to?

Look at any trans social media area and you will see, straight from the horses mouth so to speak. There is a fantastic lady on X with an account dedicated to listening to what trans people say. I can’t believe you haven’t come across her already - it’s fascinating.

Good. Another good step forward.

That’s quite a few children’s charities and school training providers out of the picture as well as activists in schools.

We’re doing really well today - acknowledgement of the existence of transvestites AND a proposed ban on proselytising about ‘transition’.

I think we can remove some books from school libraries on that basis too.

The idea that you wouldn’t know if a supposedly female key worker was, in fact, male, is ludicrous. Unlike in pictures, in real life it is almost always very obvious - through voice, height, hands and feet size, gait, etc. The OP also says they are young nursery workers, and depending on how young, they are unlikely to have made many, if any, hormonal or surgical changes.

I wouldn't mind the woman (trans man) but wouldn't be comfortable with a man, trans or otherwise.

Nooo, they are both males wearing women’s clothes. No difference. Both come under the trans umbrella according to stomewall. Neither are women.

Erm no they don't.
Neither Transvestite or the newer term "cross dresser" appear in the Stonewall glossary.

Transvestite/cross dresser is not a trans woman at all.

Both men in a dress. Neither should be anywhere near young children. What difference does it make?

What?? Nooo! That’s soo transphobic of you! You’ll be saying next that just putting on a dress doesn’t make a man a woman ! So if I see a man wearing a dress going into the ladies, how do I know he’s a “transvestite” and not a male with a trans identity? And you’ll find yes, cross dressers do come under the trans umbrella.

I agree people who dress in a particular way for personal sexual gratification should not be around children.

I refute your claim that is the same as trans women.

Sounds like you are ok with trans woman in trousers.

It was removed from their umbrella definition in 2024.
Keep up.

Oh sorry, im not that invested in the whys and where fires of males with a trans identity. Still no difference. Both wear women’s clothes. Both have their er… reasons, usually the same one.

Sure. Men can wear whatever they like, trousers, dresses, bikinis. As long as they accept they are not women and use the facilities suitable for their sex, they can do what they like.

Which includes working in any role they are qualified for. Good.

Perhaps if you bothered to educate yourself you'd discover your humanity. Haters gonna hate though.