Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

Gender and sex are different concepts.

Being trans does not mean they think they are biologically another sex.

It's like saying any man who wants to be a gynaecologist or obstaeteician is questionable, and only wants to work with women at their most physically vulnerable for the thrill of being sexually aroused by them!

What, even fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers and cousins?!

Haven't we come so far that women STILL think only women have the monopoly on caring for offspring!

I mean we women obviously have the monopoly on cleaning toilets so...

I don't believe we are at risk from trans people. I believe we are at risk from men. So if a TIM worked in a nursery it wouldn't be the trans bit that would concern me, it would be the man bit. For this reason I wouldn't be remotely concerned at a TIF working in a nursery. Because I don't think people's risk is dictated by the gender they say they are, but by the sex they actually are.
I don't see how that's at odds with feminism?

Not what I was saying at all.

I just think if I was trans and dealing with all of the difficulties that comes with that in society, I would want to reduce the stress it comes with rather than add to it. (i.e. a quiet life).

Everyone thinks differently. I never claimed to be right and cannot know anyone's motivations. It was purely a thought.

This is literally what the row has been about for the last 7 years.

Feminists said self-id as the basis of trans status in law wasn’t a good idea because some predatory men would lie. People like you called us bigots.

Now you are calling us bigots because, as expected, some men lied and are being treated as trans by the criminal justice system on the basis of self-identification. Which is what trans activists advocated for.

Didn't say it was!

I would have hoped that for such claims to be considered valid in a prison setting, the individual should have verifiable evidence of identifying as such, not just deciding thats how they now feel!

Or you know, prisons being effective and safe to alllow for rehabilitation and punishment, rathe than allowing violent criminals to take justice into their own hands.

Flawed systems are bad for everyone and marginalised people suffer the most.

All this outcry around trans women, yet STILL no real accountability for male predators... i give you Donald Trump president of the US!

This is literally a major feminist position.

Self-identification with no checks or investigation has been what trans activists have been advocating. Feminists have been pointing out the problems.

Why on earth are you cross with feminists that trans activists got their way?

The UK doesn’t have legal self-id because feminists put up a fight. But a lot of self-id policies were introduced through the back door, including in the prison service. It is feminist organizations that are campaigning against self-id, because of exactly the problems you mention.

Lack of accountability for male predators includes trans women (the ones who are predators) as they are male. Unless you think they are now female.

👏 👏 👏

I'm not a trans activist but I am a feminist and I am an ally to all marginalised people.

I support people living their lives, safely and lawfully, causing no harm to others. Being kind and respectful to others living their lives as they wish, causing no harm to others.

Unfortunately the powers that be seem to be clueless how to achieve this across society and fail to identify and hold people to account for breaching the laws of the land.

So everyone is squabbling amongst themselves about literal nonsense, who is more of a risk to who, who is right or more right, who is to blame and who isn't and all the while those in power who we are ACTUALLY at risk of harm from, keep on doing what they're doing and benefiting from the dog eat dog society where everyone tramples over everyone else!

No. I don’t want my child to think gender is a thing. It’s not. It’s just a pile of sexist stereotypes.

I suppose it depends how you define causing no harm to others. To some this causes harm. I am also a feminist.

I am cross with any 'ists' that mean genuine innocent trans people are effectively denied equality and experience suffering and discrimination, because of failure to address the actual issue.

Surely the solution to protecting people from predatory people committing abhorrent crimes is education and prevention and more rigorous investigation and tougher sentencing for those that commit those crimes? Regardless of whether they say they are trans or identify as cis?

The risk of harm ISN'T from trans women per se, but these arguments mean we lose sight of the real risks!

There is no way on this planet I would have my child in a nursery that employed a trans identifying man. Not a fucking chance.

Please tell me how a man identifying as a trans woman causes direct harm to you?

In what tangible ways does that individual's choice on how they chose to live their life, by what name or pro noun they wish to use, or what clothes or accessories they choose to wear cause you real emotional or physical harm?

I am genuinely interested, please do humour me because im at a loss and i would like to understand.

Because some trans women have a fetish for dressing in women’s clothing. Have a browse through r/mtf. How can you tell if a trans woman is genuine or a creepy man. Often fetishis come in groups and men who get off on dressing as women are often into other things. Voyerism for example. (I know one such person, they do not advertise that they are a pervert, but I know them to be)

this is my child’s nursery where they have access to vulnerable children. I am allowed to have concerns.

introducing to my child the false idea that they can change sex is potentially dangerous as it can lead down a path of harm (removal of breasts or genitals, mental health issues)

not to mention that one of the individuals shared about taking testosterone gel on their sm, which could carry potential harms to children if they are not extremely careful.

You would be happy with them being taught by someone who believes they can change their sex?

It opened to a "page not found" i did try to read it

Sexual abuse goes hand in hand with abusers. Regardless of gender.

Odds are many nursery children are being taught by someone who believes the earth was created in seven days, or that reincarnation is real, or that the earth is flat.

People can believe whatever they like. As long as they're professional at work, it doesn't matter.

Again transvestism is not transgenderism

I assume your child won’t be on sm while they are nursery age so no need to worry there. I don’t think they will be asking you to remove their breasts or genitals either while they are nursery age

I guess you tell the difference between people who are “creeps” using all the things you normally do - you make judgements through your intuition - but the nursery would have done this for you

How about - neither? It's perfectly possible to think sex is rooted in biology and gender is a societal requirement to conform to a set of sexual stereotypes.

So what is the solution? Change the legislation so only bio women can teach children?

That wouldn’t stop a grown women who identifies as a ‘boy’ so they can ‘date’ girls applying for a job and getting access to even younger girls.

I wouldn’t like this, I would remove my child. I think a nursery is totally different to any other service you pay for. Do I care if the person washing my hair at the hairdressers or serving me in the pub has dodgy pictures on instagram? not really, do I want someone like that looking after my child, absolutely not.

Tranvestism is not transgenderism

Wrong again. That used to be the case but thanks to the TRAs, transvestites now come under the transgender umbrella. (And it's transphobic to argue otherwise btw).

how would you tell the difference between a male who wants to appear female for genuine reasons and a male who wants to appear female because it turns them on. Some will be obvious of course, but not all will. I’m not saying I believe this person 100% is a problem, but I wouldn’t know would I.

what does sm have to do with anything?

no one can ever screen all creeps out, and plenty of creeps have and do target nurseries to work in.