Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

Not a chance. I’d remove my kids. Children should not be taught that their boundaries are meaningless. They also shouldn’t be lied to. Girls especially need to know who men are.

It isn’t TRA putting pressure on women to believe trans people have changed biological sex I’m afraid.

I have a fundamental issue with telling children that you can change sex , however I need to weigh up what I think is more important, which may change as the situation changes.

i mean it’s a statistical fact that men pose a far greater risk than females to children. It’s not an opinion.

safeguards fail, unfortunately.

No. I would move my child.

There was a post not so long ago regarding male nursery staff, this is no different. I wouldn’t want any male stranger having access to my child especially not one with mental health issues.

Who then?

Why would a male identifying as female pose a greater risk than a male identifying as male?

Because they do. Over 60% of trans identified men in prison are there for rape and sexual abuse as compared to 15% of men who do not identify as trans. This includes CSA.

Frankly though, I'd be concerned about ANY man who wanted to look after small children but especially one who was probably enacting a sexual fetish.

The danger from trans identified women is more ideological. They are no more likely to physically abuse a child than any other woman. But far more likely to lie to that child about gender and changing sex.

The male is at a different nursery, but under the same franchise. Occasionally they switch staff, so it’s not 100% impossible that person could end up at my child’s nursery, but fairly unlikely.

the trans person at my child’s nursery is female who identifies as a male.

If you don’t believe in gender how can you say that certain clothes are for women only?

Of course it is. That many other ridiculously captured people are going along with it, doesn't change where the narrative is coming from

gender stereotypes exist. But also due to biological differences, there are obviously some differences in clothing. Shape, underwear are sex specific.

this person has not shared their beliefs with you or your child and i am sure they never will

I'm equally certain they definitely WILL share their belief with the children. In fact, just by enacting that belief they are doing so.

Kids CAN tell men from women you know? It's completely disingenuous to pretend they can't.

???

you can’t see people’s underwear (apart from all the celebs now posing naked nearly!)

so when you say men are acting out a fetish you mean wearing clothes that don’t match their shape?

wouldnt you have to look really close and include all people In poorly fitting clothes?

If you don’t believe in gender (but admit there are stereotypes)

I don't think that men, TI or otherwise should be working in nurseries, so I'd have the same concerns about the TIM as any other man. The TIF wouldn't worry me any more than any other woman.
I don't want men in women's spaces and I don't want men around small children in environments where the vetting and supervision often falls short.
I do accept that people with a trans identity have the right to, and will, inhabit public spaces and will be employed, and that it is inevitable children will encounter them, and don't think its appropriate to seek to keep children from them merely on the basis of their trans identity.
I think its up to us as parents how we explain trans people to our children in an age appropriate way. And at 3, it would be unlikely to present an issue. But if it did, for example if the person was teaching them things I felt inappropriate, I'd address this with the nursey in terms of the specifics.
It is after all entirely possible that young non trans allies amongst the staff could also be telling the children things you'd rather they didn't. So it's behaviour rather than the fact she's a TIF that matters.

Sorry what?

I personally don’t care if someone is wearing the “wrong clothes” for their sex, unless they are using it to get off on. Some men unfortunately have a fetish for women’s clothing and wearing it turns them on.

I was just clarifying what about clothing makes it “for women”. Only thing that would make it that way is shaped specifically for women’s body, or underwear for body parts you don’t have.

if you just are more comfortable or like it, that’s one thing. Who cares. If someone is wearing it because it’s a turn on then that’s obviously not appropriate for a nursery.

Then how do you square that intersex people exist (and have throughout documented history)? It’s not even super rare. The accepted solution until a few decades ago was for doctors to lie to the parents and say that the baby was the sex that the external genitalia most closely resembled.

it’s never been as simple as male or female.

I think I would have to question the self awareness of a trans person who has actively sought to work in one of the careers that might be most difficult for them and one of the few that is likely to be met with most resistance.

To me, it strongly lacks self awareness which causes concerns.

I don't have an issue with trans people (although I don't believe you can change sex) but the career choice is questionable - it's not one someone who just wants a normal quiet life, same as most people desire, would choose.

This is why I haven’t moved them or made plans to as things stand. Ultimately these people exist and have a right to work, even if I don’t agree with their beliefs.

I do have the same thoughts that for all I know they are telling our children things I don’t agree with any way, or if we moved it would be more of the same.

and they will encounter people like this in life, and it is up to us as parents to explain the world best we can.

I would feel very uncomfortable and would be very tempted to remove my child in that situation.

What are the other ways to create a baby then? Other than combining male and female gametes. That is what sex is, it’s about reproduction. People being born with incomplete or combinations of genitals or sex organs are not a different biological sex.

trans gender is not intersex anyway.

Intersex people are still either male or female. They have a DSD specific to either males or females. And it is rare, unless you are talking about the fairly nonsense 1.7% stat bandied about on TikTok which includes things like pcos.

What I’m saying is that OP has no way of knowing if these nursery workers are actually trans or if they are simply intersex and are choosing to dress either male or female presenting? They may not be clearly male or female biologically, and that’s none of anyone’s business, but they have to wear clothes. Perhaps saying they are trans is easier for them than having to explain the details of reproductive system.