Trans nursery workers?

[ThatWaryGreenBiscuit]

Am I being unreasonable to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my child’s nursery?

A couple of weeks ago they shared a post on the parents app about two people with feminine names completing some training. One of the people pictured was clearly male. I found them on instagram and they are a trans woman. Now this person did not work at my child’s actual nursery, just one of the other settings in the franchise, although they do occasionally switch the staff around, it’s not often. So I thought, I don’t like it, but ultimately moving my child because of somebody working at a different setting is unreasonable. Also it took my child a while to be comfortable and now they really enjoy it. (3y and verbal which also makes a difference too)

Then last week there’s a post about our nursery setting and a reshuffle of staff. Now working at our nursery is another trans person. A female this time who identifies as male. I confirmed them as trans through their instagram again, which honestly contains a lot of potentially worrying stuff. Very heavy on the transition side, art about top surgery, testosterone, nude art, “protecting trans youth” and protests.

Both individuals are young and I haven’t met either, however apparently my child knows the trans man (female).

I’m really not sure what to do if anything? Obviously I have no right to tell them who to hire, and I have no wish to be cruel to these young people.

But I cannot deny the feeling I have in my gut. I feel like my boundaries are being pushed and I’m worried about what their potential motives are for suddenly hiring two trans people and posting about them on the parenting portals/social media in increasing frequency.

There has been a change in management, but I have no idea who is in charge of hiring.

Will it matter as they are young? (The children) Because the trans individual at my child’s actual nursery is female would you be worried? I feel so unsure. It’s very recent so I’m weighing my options.

I will likely only openly share my thoughts on this if I decide to remove my child, as I believe that saying anything will not result in anything positive, and in fact could mean my child is “educated” because of their “horrible bigoted family”.

I wouldn't have my child being indoctrinated in the lies that make up gender identity. It's why I didn't allow them to do Brownies or rainbows. A friend actually admitted that I was right that the "non binary" leader did take the chance to push her ideology and tell the children that she was neither a man or a woman.

For a lot of men, cross-dressing is sexual behaviour.

So yes, that would worry me a lot.

From a putrely practical point of view:
For all you know, other parents are having the same thoughts. I'd get my skates on about enquiring about spaces elsewhere, because you can't move if the spaces are gone.
Once you have that information then you can make a decision.

I don’t want my child growing up with the false notion that you can change sex.

Would you be ok with a trans person who understands biology and knows they have only changed their gender?

Very few trans people think they have changed sex.

mental health issues! So I would say no.

The problem with this is the potential gaslighting of very young children.

The transman is NOT a man. Will this person insist on preferred pronouns? Are they an activist type who will tell the kids they can change sex if they want to? Many of these young trans people are like that because they believe it themselves.

It's not good to lie to children in this way. It teaches them to ignore their instincts and disbelieve the evidence of their own eyes. I'd be removing my child immediately. Frankly a business that is endorsing gender ideology is suspect anyway, even if my child was not personally being cared for by a trans person.

In true TRA style we jump straight to genitals. And worse you disregard the safeguarding risk of men working with children as recently seen in the press. Not all men, we know.

Its actually about beliefs and how this persons beliefs could be inappropriately instilled to a young child without the parents consent.

And the fact that the individual is managing complex mental and physical health conditions that in my view does compromise their ability to work with children and ensure appropriate safeguarding

I might not move straight away but I would monitor more closely, sensitively ask my child questions and look at alternative options in readiness.

Whilst not all trans people think you can change sex, a large majority do, and imo younger people are more likely to think this. Obviously I haven’t asked them.

Ultimately it’s up to you, but you have to ask yourself whether it’s more important for you that your DC has a settlement environment, or who the staff are: you could move DC and then weeks or months down the line find the new setting also employs a transperson or a man, and you probably aren’t going to be wanting to move nursery whenever it happens. Likewise, your concerns about the staff member’s social media: any of the people working with your DC could have a mental health problem or beliefs at odds with yours, and just not be posting about any of it.

Yes i would , as i would expect all Male staff to do changing as its not a sex act - its hygiene

they are vetted the same and now a days usually go to the toilet/ changing area in twos to avoid allegations ( or achual abuse ) from taking place

I think the concerns you mention are entirely reasonable. It might also be worth looking into the reading materials and general approach to see if they are pushing a certain agenda. Also worth remembering that you can be completely clear and open with your child when they start asking questions. If the man moves to your site I would definitely move your child because in that environment it indicates that they are not taking safeguarding seriously.

What is this "gender" that they've changed? Do you really think they've swapped one set of likes and dislikes and natural aptitudes for another? What have they actually changed other than their name, pronouns and clothing?

Wouldn’t bother me but we had both Women and Men at my kids nursery (no idea if any were trans I never thought to ask)

*small minority

I think this might be my actions right now. My child is very happy there and they are very open about what the children get up to and I was so happy with it before this. I’m also aware that we could move and have a similar situation occur or not even know as not all nurseries are so open.

Why would a female identifying as male pose a greater sexual abuse risk than a female identifying as a female? Why would a male identifying as female pose a greater risk than a male identifying as male?

You are free to feel uncomfortable about people who aren't like you or who don't conform to the standards you think are correct. You are free to remove your child. Anything beyond that would be unreasonable.

Are you for real? The whole notion is that they have adopted a ‘gender’ that over rides sexed bodies and biology is irrelevant. The latest that taking HRT actually changes your chromosome make up to that of the opposite sex so you literally change sex. Some Women have a penis, that’s all.

This has no place around children of this age.

It’s a fairly mainstream view these days, so I think it’s likely that these people think that. It’s certainly considered wrong to call them by their actual sex. (Ie to say a trans woman is male is 100% considered transphobic)

No disrespect, but this is NOT NOT NOT a nursery teacher. They have training and degrees etc. Anyone can work in a day nursery

Very few trans people think they have changed sex

So why all the "Trans women are women. No debate" then? Why all the silencing and shaming for those that disagreed? Why all the trans women in women's wards, and sports and prisons? If most trans people don't believe that they've changed sex, why all the pressure on the rest of us to believe they had?

If you have a fundamental issue with trans people and how they live then of course you should remove your child. That’s entirely your decision to make. Rather that then make demands to the employer about who they are allowed to employ.

I don’t agree there is an increased risk of abuse with any particular sex or gender working with children as long as robust and appropriate safeguards are in place.

No adult should have any opportunity to abuse a child in a nursery/school/any other setting.

I think your concerns are valid and much as I respect anyone’s right to choose what they do to their own body I’m not sure that I would feel comfortable sending my child. It’s a sensitive subject but in a nursery setting everyone has a right to feel comfortable with the people they leave their children with.

I’m not sure about a female identifying as male posing a greater risk for abuse, although I think more likely to be passionate about educating children about gender identity.

However a male identifying as female is a greater risk than a male who knows he’s male, I think, considering dressing in women’s clothing is a fetish for many (obviously not all) and often people have more than one at a time.

I'd be concerned too that it seems to be a deliberate ploy from the management.

But in this case, the kids aren't going to know that the transman is in fact a biological woman, unless she brings it up, which would be incredibly unprofessional.

I wouldn't want a trans identifying male nursery worker, as there have been too many cases of male nursery workers abusing kids.