Would you forgive a mother-in-law after upsetting behaviour with your newborn?

[Bubblebabynewmum]

Sorry this is probably going to be a long post. I'm a new mum they are just over a month old now. We had a really bad pregnancy and birth and was in hospital for the first 2 weeks after birth. We didnt tell anyone about the birth untill the next day as it was very overwhelming and has some complications. Mother in law wasnt happy she wasnt told on the day and didn't talk to us for the whole time we was in hospital. When we got home we asked for a few days to settle in she didnt listen and came round without telling us ( we had be home less than a hour). She held the baby and wouldn't give them back when we asked. She kissed the baby even though we asked her not to. Our last straw was when she was holding our baby and said she wants to hurt them to make them cry because they don't do anything they just lie there and do nothing. Obviously this really upset me and hurt me and we have gone no contact for now. My question is would you forgive her?

I wouldn't let her anywhere near my DC.

Not in this or any future lifetime.

Cut the overstepping bitch off.

What is your husband's reaction?

She sounds unhinged

How did she get in the house?
If she has a key, get it back pronto.
who suggests hurting a baby so the ‘do something’?

Keep her away from your child

why would she say she wants to hurt a baby? I’d be worried sick about her

My husband has agreed to go no contact for now but wants to sort it out. She hasn't apologised and has said she hasn't done anything wrong and when she said she wants to hurt the baby to make them cry apparently it was just a joke 😤🤯

She sounds seriously disturbed - I would not let someone like this anywhere near my child… but your DH needs to step up- how can anyone defend such appalling behaviour.

Your mil sounds psychotic

I wouldn’t go no contact, that’s rather definitive, but I wouldn’t let her be with the baby alone for now.

She sounds a bit odd - was she normal pre-birth.

Look after yourself and don’t dwell on her behaviour.

Has she got mental health issues??? This is very concerning behaviour!!
Whats the Hubster say??????

No. But im not the forgiving type.

I haven't even got children (and sometimes think parents are a bit over the top with pfb syndrome) but anyone suggesting hurting a child in my presence would never get within 100 yards of that or any other child ever again.

She hasn't behaved this way before but ive never seen her around children before. She has always wanted to be center of attention. She didnt let us have a first dance at our wedding and we couldn't cut our wedding cake she had to do it because shes the one that made it. No one ever stands up to her or tells her no they just let her get on with what she wants to do and if you try and tell her she just cries.

So she has behaved like this before

Too many red flags, do not let her near the baby now nor in the future, definitely not unsupervised. This type of attitude and behaviour is not benign and will only escalate as the child grows. Heard too many disturbing stories about in laws like her.
You deserve time to rest now and relax with the baby, block everything out

She sounds a nightmare.

This is her acting like this before!
so she said you cant cut your cake and you and DH just went ok and stood by as MIL cut it in front of the guests? And then you planned a dance and she said no and you both just agreed not to?
seriously OP, she is walking all over you because you are letting her. Pls make a stand or it will only get worse. This is how she is. Sorry OP.

I wouldn't make any announcements, I just wouldn't see or speak to her again until she apologised, which will be never. It's your husband's problem to deal with. Or rather, she is.

Why are you both so passive about this? Not having a first dance at your wedding and letting her cut the cake? You both sound like a pair of wet bath mats. You've got a dependent child now, time to both grow up.

Agreed

Doesn’t bode well for the next 18 years at least of parenting their newborn

I would report her to SS or similar, in case she makes similar threats to other children. You poor thing.

Jokes are meant to be funny not psycho. I wouldn't trust this woman as far as I could throw her.

No. And she would never see my child ever

She's a narcissist. Cut loose now or she'll ruin all your lives.

And both of you need therapy for allowing those previous examples of insane behaviour. As previous posters have said, standing up for your child is part of being a good parent.