To have let my dc have a wrap for lunch?

[Foodfumbles]

We nipped to the shop after swimming and they asked if they could have a wrap for lunch (this is a rare treat for them).

I let them have a whole wrap each (450cals if relevant) and since arriving at my mum’s she has lectured me on letting them eat an adult portion and saying I obviously want them to end up like me (overweight) letting them eat that.
To them she’s said how big their lunch is and even she would be full with a wrap and they should be sharing.

I have had endless food issues throughout my life thanks to how I was raised around food so I struggle to know what’s normal and what is her warped thinking. This is the same woman who told me my child was overweight and was getting fat (she wasn’t at all, she was on the 55th centile and very average!)

Aibu to let them have a whole wrap every now and then?

How old are your children? Actually, regardless of their ages, your mum’s language around food is likely to be damaging. YANBU.

My 7 year old has a wrap most days in his packed lunch. They also serve wraps as a snack in his after school club and the portion is a whole one. Sometimes, therefore, he has two wraps a day! I have a similar mother so I feel your pain…

Your mother clearly has food issues that she has passed onto you OP given you both think of a wrap as a rare treat and have given the calories and are questioning whether one is too much

How old are your kids and I would stop taking them to your mums before she passes her food issues on to them.

Let’s be logical here.

You know her parenting has led to you having food issues.

You are taking a different approach. She is of course going to object (she sounds like a narcissist, suspect this is the tip of the iceberg). But equally obviously she is WRONG.
The fact you are questioning yourself and allowing her to undermine your parenting suggests some
therapy would be beneficial

One meal does not make a diet balanced or unbalanced. My kids often eat more calories than me as they’re growing taller and doing more activity so comparing a child to an adults intake is not helpful.

This is literally ridiculous and I’d be explaining to my mother that she needs to stop making comments on what other people consume.

It's a non problem.

A wrap is a perfectly normal lunch. I wouldn’t even be labelling it a treat, except in that a lunch out is a treat.

Ignore your mum.

Why is a wrap a rare treat? It’s a standard lunch in my house. Cheese, ham, salad, chicken. I buy the mini wraps for DS2 to take in his packed lunch box during the week.

Whats a standard lunch for your dc?

Why did your Mum know what they had for lunch? Why is this a topic for discussion?

Your mum is so out of order it's hard to know where to start.

It’s absolutely fine. Your mum is being ridiculous. So please ignore her. You need to tell her to stop making comments about what is being consumed and your kids weight.

It’s not something you do often and even if it was I think it’s fine too. It also depends if you’re talking about a 3yr old or a 10yr old.

My 8 yr old now needs an extra burger with her happy meal as it isn’t enough for her. She eats about the same as me and sometimes more. Her appetite went up so much about a year ago. She’s very active though and tiny but jeez she can eat!

We were coming over to do some jobs this afternoon, so they ate the wraps at her house.

This. My 11 year old has had 3 wraps as burritos for dinner in the past. I’m not going to limit her food if she’s hungry and enjoying it.
Keep your kids away from your mum if she’s talking nonsense like this. Sorry you have to deal with it OP.

They’re 4 and 7 if it’s relevant.

It’s really sad that you’re even questioning this. You’re passing on similar food issues to your own children.

You don’t say how old your child is! Obviously age is a big factor here. 7 months old and it’s probably not suitable at all, 7 years old and it’s fine, 17 and I’d think they’d probably still be hungry!

It's totally irrelevant, wraps couldn't be a more normal for lunch for anyone

I'm sure it's easier said than done but please don't pass on your food issues to your children, this is sad to read

Did she say that in front of your Dc?

Of course YANBU to give them such a lunch. But even if you had given them a packet of Wotsits and a creme egg instead, she would have had no business saying something like that to you and in front of them.

I would be telling her very firmly that she is not welcome to comment on your weight ever, nor to talk about weight and eating to your Dc.

You have the reins here: you’re doing jobs for her as a favour!

The wraps are fine. Your mother should be avoided though. Poor kids having to listen to that! As the parent of an anorexic, keep them away from that kind of fucked up talk.

Ok, your Mum clearly had problems around food - I would avoid unnecessary meals at her house.

I'm not quite sure how a wrap is a treat.. surely that's just a normal lunch thing to have, like a sandwich?

Buying it from the shop was the treat! I usually make them lunch at home.

Well if the wrap contained an entire jar of Nutella then YABU, but if it's a regular wrap with meat/veg etc... then it's a sensible option for kids. Mine eat wraps all the time for lunch.