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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My Dad told me I'm a shit parent. AIBU to just want to pack up and leave to go home right now?

187 replies

PoppyBlunt · 11/04/2026 00:26

At my Dad and his wife's for the weekend.
Earlier today he shouted at 5yo DS and told him to get off the sofa and stop playing with the buttons (he wasn't playing, had simply sat in the chair bit and raised the foot thing). He then shouted at me to stop DS playing. Before I had a chance to do anything he dragged DS off the sofa by his arm and his leg. This was half an hour after he'd had his hands around DS's neck 'play fighting'.

DS was understandably really shaken up and upset by all of this and had some time upstairs with me and older sibling.

I said to my dad this evening that I was highly uncomfortable with him being physical with the children and I didnt want it happening again or there would a final line drawn..

He got very angry, descending into a rampage of him telling me I'm a "shit parent", my children arent discplined whatsoever, he loves them but doesnt like them at all, they're totally feral, he feels sorry for me because I have allowed them to get like this and bite and kick me (older DC bit me once when 18m old, so guess he is referring to this one instance).

He said older DC understands the word no now, but there are a host of other issues with her.

He said that when they have other families here after they've left they say to one another "so that's what a normal family looks like" and mention us.

All the while he's shouting this at me and effing and blinding throughout.

AIBU to just want to pack up the car and get out of here. He was utterly venomous and I just don't want to be here and especially dont want my children being somewhere with someone who doesn't like them.

DH saying stay put and see how things are tomorrow.

OP posts:
EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 11/04/2026 00:29

Presumably the kids are asleep? If so, I would leave it until morning.

PoppyBlunt · 11/04/2026 00:30

Yeah kids asleep.

OP posts:
SimonWigglesBaratoneVoice · 11/04/2026 00:30

I would leave. He was physical with your child, and called you a shit parent and says he doesn't like your kids.

I'm struggling to think of a reason you should stay.

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 11/04/2026 00:32

Leave first thing tomorrow. Try and pack your stuff now so it's ready to go.

Get a few hours sleep and just get in the car. Stop somewhere for breakfast.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 11/04/2026 00:33

I also think you should leave tomorrow morning unless you feel unsafe now. You say he was shouting earlier. Has he calmed down since?

AyeDeadOn · 11/04/2026 00:34

Id leave as soon as the kids wake up. Get packed as much as possible tonight and get your belongings into the car. Then go as soon as kids wake up. Hopefully you'll be away before your horrible dad even wakes up to start a fuss in front of the kids.

freedomformeismotherhood · 11/04/2026 00:35

Girl, go home right now

Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/04/2026 00:35

I’d be packing my stuff now and getting some sleep to leave very early In the morning - no way would I be having that not a chance! Sorry you’ve had this to deal with

PoppyBlunt · 11/04/2026 00:35

I'm worried what the kids will make of it if we just head off.
We are meant to be here until Sunday, with a day out tomorrow. Was thinking go for the day and go from there?
I said to DS at the time that what Grandad did wasn't ok at all, we dont treat people like that etc and I would talk to him (my dad) later.

My head is fried.

OP posts:
PoppyBlunt · 11/04/2026 00:37

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 11/04/2026 00:33

I also think you should leave tomorrow morning unless you feel unsafe now. You say he was shouting earlier. Has he calmed down since?

I dont feel unsafe. Dh here. Just so so upset by his actions and words.
He didnt calm down. I walked away when he said about the "normal family"

OP posts:
DallazMajor · 11/04/2026 00:37

The irony.

StrictlyCoffee · 11/04/2026 00:37

Leave in the morning

Your dad is a horrible cunt

Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/04/2026 00:37

I absolutely wouldn’t entertain a day out with him and on further consideration if you can get the kids to the car now and all your stuff without waking him up then I would just go - how far from home are you?

outerspacepotato · 11/04/2026 00:46

Your dad is physically abusing your 5 year old.

WTF putting his hands around a little kid's throat? Crush injuries there can be lethal. Then dragging him off the sofa by his arm and leg, he could dislocate joints or break bones. Is your 5 year old ok?

Pack up and get the hell out of there. If he tries to stop you, call the police.

You need to think very seriously about going no contact with him and never letting your kids see him again. There is no good to be had from you and your kid being around an adult who physically abused them and had a rage fit with you.

Strangulation as play. WTF.

Sc00byDont · 11/04/2026 00:48

StrictlyCoffee · 11/04/2026 00:37

Leave in the morning

Your dad is a horrible cunt

@PoppyBlunt this!

💐

KerryPippin · 11/04/2026 01:00

Go in the morning.

Has he been like this before? The uncontrolled anger, I mean.

audhdandme · 11/04/2026 01:01

PoppyBlunt · 11/04/2026 00:35

I'm worried what the kids will make of it if we just head off.
We are meant to be here until Sunday, with a day out tomorrow. Was thinking go for the day and go from there?
I said to DS at the time that what Grandad did wasn't ok at all, we dont treat people like that etc and I would talk to him (my dad) later.

My head is fried.

By staying your teaching your kids that his behaviour is ok. Protect your kids, set some boundaries and leave

VivienneDelacroix · 11/04/2026 01:05

I would have left when he put hands on my child.
I packed my children up and came home when my dad had a vicious racist rant at the television in front of them. They were in pyjamas ready for bed, but absolutely no way was I letting them think that I tolerate or excuse racism.

WoollyandSarah · 11/04/2026 01:09

Your children need you to leave, so that they learn that it isn't acceptable for them to be treated like that and that if you are in an abusive relationship, you leave. That's what they need to get from this now.

TheSlantedOwl · 11/04/2026 01:21

Fuck what an awful man. You have to leave tomorrow morning. You can’t tolerate his physical abuse of your child or his emotional abuse of you.

Don’t ask your DH for permission, let him know it’s what you need to do.

RoseField1 · 11/04/2026 01:24

Leave in the morning. You cannot stay any longer after he physically and verbally abused your children and yourself in that way.

Gostraight2hellnowtrump · 11/04/2026 01:27

would leave at the earliest opportunity and never set foot in the place again!

ModestlyPrudent · 11/04/2026 01:29

@PoppyBlunt it’s sad but you have to leave in the morning, you could have the day out first if it’s just you 4 going and then head-home.

The kids hopefully won’t remember if you said Sat or Sun but you could make-up an excuse anyway if they do, that you all need a day at home to get ready for the week-ahead.

MrsMoastyToasty · 11/04/2026 01:33

I would pack up, wake the kids and load them into the car in their pyjamas and head to the nearest hotel.

Laughanotherday · 11/04/2026 01:37

I would go now - find a hotel and get out, never expose your kids to this again. I have a similar family - be the change and stop the cycle.

I would tell the kids the truth - your family cannot be trusted and they will never be abused like that again.