10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

She is safely playing happily with her toys, I can't see a problem. I never had a playpen for my dc but yours sounds great.

No she doesn’t. She sounds like a normal parent. Nobody needs to be interacting or educating their child during every second of every day. The baby is happy playing.

It feels rather restrictive. At 10 months old, babies are usually confidently crawling, and getting near to walking. It seems a shame to restrict that.

Because play pen is massive. It literally takes up the whole of the livingroom. We keep saying we will take bits off to reduce size but we are used to it now. Plenty of space to keep all livingroom toys! I also read to her in my bedroom, nursery, etc.

I think it’s fine to watch tv for yourself. I wouldn’t be putting on for a 10 month old. Can’t you give her pots and pans on the floor and a wooden spoon or something? Ir move the playpen while you are cooking so she is near?

The effects of screen time on under 3s is really bad. My daughter is 3 and 1/2 and did get screen time from 1. Mainly the odd film if she was ill or extra fussy. Then ms Rachel, ms apple and other educational stuff from 2. There were definitely days I’ve given too much screen, I’m not saying I’m perfect and found it easy without. My husband would tend to use screens with her, so I really tried not to at all because I didn’t want her getting too much.

My friends child is a year younger. Has had unlimited screen time. Literally walks around with a phone in her hand. Is more violent than mine, and has a lot more tantrums.

edit as I’ve just seen you say it’s a large play one. Maybe get a pop up ball pool type one?

Who bloody cares if it's 'lazy'??

Enjoy your slow morning while your baby is happy playing. You won't always be able to have a gentle start to the day so why not enjoy it now.

What a stupid comparison. Are you suggesting the OP is paid staff? Should her dh be treating her like paid staff because he’s working and she’s on maternity leave?

She can crawl in playpen and usually stands and walks around edge. We also let her crawl around livingroom too but playpen safer when we need to pop out toom to answer door, pop to loo. It honestly is massive hence why I sometimes sit in it. We should probably reduce the size but we have just gotten used to it and its a massive space.

OP if actual suggest somehow removing yourself from this post as MN will eat you alive for this, you will have hoards of women - who probably don’t even remember what it’s like to have a baby - tell you you’re failing as for some reason women seem to love to do this as it makes them feel great about themselves
baby seems fine, if mum is happy baby will for sure be fine. Keep doing what works for you x

I’ll be honest, whilst I enjoyed baby naps on me, I worked quite hard to get them napping in their room for my sanity. DD1 had colic and cried solidly for 12 weeks. naps were like handling an unexploded bomb (blackout blinds, hairdryer noise etc). I used Baby Whisperer techniques because that fitted my vibe. Gentle but firm.

it was hard work but my god, when they napped without me it was awesome!

It's good for children to learn to amuse themselves. She has toys available and you are available if needed.
Tell him if he wants to do it differently he's fucking welcome.

If I were employing a nanny I’d be more worried it they thought is was a good idea to be entertaining my child 1:1 all the time and didn’t understand that sitting playing alone was important. sitting in a playpen for that is fine if it isn’t necessarily safe to not be in the playpen.

OP, does she need to be in the highchair while you are cooking. Is there somewhere else she could be playing by herself? Perhaps the playpen in the kitchen if it will fit. That might make her happier than being strapped in.

Kitchen is quite small as we have a table in there too. So cant have play pen or travel cot as it would restrict space to move around for me. Also can havd her on floor as she is so active she would be crawling everywhere and pulling herself up on me and I wouldn't feel safe cooking like that.

Kitchen doesnt have the space. I have thought about leaving her in playpen whilst I cook but thats in a separate room and I don't like that

I would say fine for 20-30 minutes. An hour is pushing it, really.

@RaspberryRipple3 no, I’m saying that those of us who’ve employed nannies or use nurseries, generally want our kids looked after well. If the people looking after our kids were watching TV we wouldn’t be happy. Which suggests that watching TV isn’t not considered good parenting. I was asking OP to reflect on whether she would be happy for other people caring for her child to watch TV.

He hasn’t even cooked this baby a meal in 10 months? Time for daddy darling to step up. He sounds rather opinionated for someone with limited hands on experience….

I don't know anyone who gets up with their baby then watches their own TV programmes for an hour.. maybe 20 mins would be OK.

I feel a walker would be better than a play-pen at 10 months old. She probably does feel restricted in the play-pen and even more so in the high-chair for no reason whatsoever other than for you to cook dinner (usually kids go in it to eat!).

Time to open up your house for more movement.

Contact naps are lovely not sure what other poster was implying with me saying that. I Just mean that as she wont nap in cot, she wakes instantly if I try popping her down. She was only happy napping in moses basket strangely. Everything else, next to me, big cot, travel cot - nope and I have tried so many times.

This.
Like it or not OP, your child is growing up, and needs to be able to roam. You can’t keep her locked in a pen for ever.

Hmm trickier. How far is the other room? I’m assuming you couldn’t see her from the kitchen.

Is some sort of stagnate system across the kitchen or across the kitchen door so she is in an adjoining room possible and would make you feel more comfortable.

She isnt locked in a playpen all day! After her morning milk, then at times throughout day where i usually sit in it with her and I will most often leave the door open where she will go and crawl and I let her. I only close door in morning, but she doesnt look to get out as she is happily playing or if answering door, taking in shop delivery, nipping to lop etc

Its a funny layout but no cant see livingroom from kitchen. I will have a think if anything can be moved.

Honestly op don't. Listen to some of these responses. It's not good parenting to have a child that. Needs constant parental entertainment and can't survive in a safe space with toys for half an hour. This is why kids and teens are anxious and can't manage to be independent in any way.