10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

Also - would you consider paying a sleep consultant?

I know ChatGPT doesn't get everything right but it's also a free alternative, we used it to tweak our DS's routine when he went through a phase of waking up for the day at 4.30/5am

Some absolutely nonsense on here. My children are now in their 20s so we didn’t have phones and non stop children’s programs etc until much later but I definitely put on dvds for them and stuck them in front of the tv to get a break. They watched tv in between going out to parks and farms and walks and going to groups and reading and playing sports and all the other normal and educational things children should be doing. They have not grown up violent, inattentive and non verbal, they have all attended university and have professional careers and are lovely well rounded people.
While they watched tv I got on and did the million other things I had to do or sat and read a magazine and had a cup of coffee. This was perfectly normal and no one was made to feel guilty about their children watching tv. My husband certainly didn’t expect me to be up and doing things every minute of the day while he was at work and had breaks

You’re a man aren’t you @LondonPapa

Lucky you… you have a wife 😆 . We could all do with one of them.

I am completely baffled by them 😂 arguing against me then agreeing when you just reword what I said! 😂 I was using driving as an example of watching multiple things at the same time while I am currently typing on my phone, have a full view of my son eating and can see he's watching Mario on the TV out of the corner of my eye (peripherals for the one that was arguing with me!) All at the same time! It's not hard 🤦‍♀️

I think this thread has taken a turn 😂😂

Fuck me a lot of judgy pants here aren't there OP! Are you happy with it? Will you regret your behaviour later? One thing guaranteed as a parent: you will be wrong regardless so within reason do what makes you happy. It seems this does. I wouldn't change a thing

This thread is so nuts its just about persuaded me that my time on Mumsnet is done. I know nobody cares about that and nor do I expect them to.

Good luck @ILoveFatFaceSocks it will all come right in the end, although that doesn't help you now. My terrible sleeper is now 28 and I never solved it, only time did.

True 😂 I haven't even replied properly to your question that you are definitely not unreasonable needing that hour to set you up for the day! Or for given her a little bit of supervised screen time so you can safely cook dinner! Some of the responses you've had are madness! My son is 10 now and a bit of TV time when he was little hasn't caused him any issues, he loves being outdoors and can play independently well too!

please don’t feel like you can’t use the screen if it is what is needed to keep DD entertained. for me personally the penny dropped when i realised that watching the black and white sensory video for babies is no different to the black and white sensory cards as i was still engaging in the same way “can you see the bird” “what a lovely red bird” “how many strawberries can you see. 1. 2. 3.” etc it meant that after the c section i had i was not forever sleep deprived trying to rescue cards from under the sofa, between the sofa etc. the issue is not the screen but a uninvolved parent which is definitely not you.

I’m confused. Aren’t toys meant to be played with and there to entertain our children? I have a 6 month old so a few months behind you, but this is literally what we do. He plays on his mat while I watch tv with a coffee for a bit. He lets me know if he’s not happy and I grab him. There’s only so much of the day reading, walking and play groups takes up.

My baby is learning to roll and I was in the floor with him trying everything and ChatGPT told me I was being overly involved and just to let him play, I took a step back and now he is so close!

First of all, there are big playpens and there are absolutely huge ones which are around the size of a sitting room. Obviously, when you said yours was big I wasn't visualising one that takes up almost your whole room as you say, so I apologise for assuming it was a normal big one. Also, I wasn't recommending walkers. Personally I think they're very unsafe and there have been numerous cases to prove so. What I was suggesting was a walker WITHOUT wheels. Not sure what they're actually called. They are safe as they are grounded by weight so won't topple over. I suggested it as a way to provide variety along with a playpen. So when you say 'make it make sense', I believe it did. And I have no issue with some screen time for toddlers. When I was on maternity leave, I often sat in front of the TV watching something with my coffee or lunch as my toddler sometimes ate at different times to me. You asked was your dh unreasonable to be commenting on you spending up to an hour watching TV first thing in the morning, and I gave my opinion saying this would annoy me too if I was him. If you're not happy with differing opinions to your own, don't ask people for theirs.

Trike. I bought one for my son around 11 months for the same reason. They can see a lot more from a trike than a pram and they're less restricted generally. He's almost 2 and still really loves it.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1EQYkJqMMv/

Thought of you OP ☕️

Just to add to those judging TV time: when my now five year old was 18 months old I was pregnant and had a very difficult pregnancy. My DS ended up watching far too much tv per day because I wasn’t functioning and it made me so guilty. He loved watching number shows, and because of that became obsessed with numbers, maths and science. Now at 5 he is 3 years ahead in maths. His school has had to move him to upper grades for maths and we’ve had to bring in tutors to keep up with him.

When I felt guilty about the tv time my husband would remind me that we both watched hours of tv per day growing up and ended up at the best universities (my DH at the #1 rated university in the world). There is so much judgement in parenthood and in most cases that judgement is unwarranted and just makes life so much harder.

i do believe that is where DS (23 months) got his obsession for numbers, alphabet, phonics, and quiet recently the order of the planets from. any order and sequence he is hooked so i do try encouraging that with and without the tv

I love that! There are so many wonderful tv shows that can help with learning. It opens up conversation too. DS has been asking a lot of questions about space, planets, etc with how much we’ve been watching about the moon journey this past week.

If you don’t have a Yoto player I highly reccomend. Great audio cards on maths, space, etc. DS started learning Spanish through the cards and it’s what tipped us off that he’d do well in a Spanish immersion school. Also just lovely storybooks, he still loves listening to Winnie the Pooh as he falls asleep.

we had it but at 23 months i think DS was a bit young so swapped to tonie box for now which has been great. he is even starting to have favourites. we have been using the bear night light tonie for wind down (we have the penguin night light too) and he actually took the bear from his shelf when he saw me get the tonie box for the first time tonight which is so great he is starting to get into the night time routine

also so great he is interested in languages it is so good and the earlier the better. i fully plan to let ds have his tonie or yoto (which ever he prefers) when we move him into his own room in a couple of years time in his own room when he goes to sleep

Many of our friends have tonies and love them! Currently pregnant with baby #3 and I might get one once she’s here (and a not a newborn haha) and try it out!

It is interesting because nothing that our DC are interested in educationally are things we’ve purposely encouraged (besides a love of books). It’s all been things they’ve gravitated towards with the TV or Yoto and then we try to encourage it by reading them books based on what they’ve shown us they like.

The sleep sounds exhausting no wonder you need some down time in the morning. I have no idea how you get a baby off contact naps, can you lie down next to her and get some sleep then? I think we used to have the big cot right next to the bed at one point. Would that help at all? I had twins and one of them was like this waking all the time. The other slept like a log! It’s exhausting look after yourself. You’re not unreasonable at all.

in all honesty you should have a look at the my first tonie sets and the night light. and yes it is funny but does show that tv as long as carefully selected and co-watched can even be beneficial

Little Einsteins with a colicky baby prevented my brain from melting out of my ears and he always stopped crying for the theme tune. He could probably still quote some episodes.

So many judgmental comments about TV time! Im sorry but who cares if there is a bit of TV time thrown into the day it can be so full on caring for babies and toddlers and when there's always lots of chores to do and the child has been out for walks, doing lots of activities, playing etc. There is no problem with a bit of educational TV or even a Disney film. Congratulations to everyone who successfully raised children on zero TV time obviously your better than those of us cruel parents exposing children to screens 🙄

Baby slept 1030pm until 530am!!!
Huge win!!

She did sleep 830-1015. She woke up being transferred to cot but that only happened once 😊