10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

Can you explain why?

Why give screen time at all? You ca do audio only if you must. Or you know, involve your child in what you’re doing - narrate the cooking or whatever. Putting a 10-month old in front of the TV is dreadful.

Would completely understand if she was put in playpen with TV on and left for hours but its literally after her 1st milk before breakfast solids. I only pop ms rachel on my phone whilst I cook dinner as breakfast and lunch are quicker so dont need a distraction. When food is ready is goes straight off and I sit and eat with DD.

I mean, dumping a baby in a playpen first thing in the morning so you can sit around watching TV is kinda lazy/self-indulgent, but if you're busy the rest of the day, I don't blame you for having a chilled start to the day!

What if is teaching her is to amuse and entertain her self, concentration and other important things. You DH is a tool. Ignore him. Neither of you will be doing her any favours by entertaining her for 100% of her wake time.

I have tried this. I give her toys, she throws them, I have tried lots of sensory items on highchair tray, she gets bored and screams to get out, I sit next to her and show her what I am doing she watches for a little bit of time then cries to get out. I have tried just singing to her whilst I make food, she likes for a little but then gets bored. So putting ms rachel on wasnt my automatic go to but it works and its only when I am making dinner.

Not something I would have done but each to their own. As long as you’re doing plenty of other stuff with baby like daily outdoor time, books, baby groups, swimming etc

I clicked to find out why you'd married a ten month old.

Yes, baby doesnt nap in cot it has to be on me. She doesnt nap anywhere else but in bedroom. So I am stuck there. Rest of day is very busy so yes, its my little break before day kicks in and she sits and plays happily.

Your baby seems to spend a lot of time stuck in a playpen. And it’s too much screen time. I don’t think my elder child even saw a screen until he was nearly 2.
Why do you sit in the playpen to read? I expect if your baby wasn’t locked in a playpen for so long, she might complain less about being in a high chair for meals.

10 month old DH - Is this thread about a dear hamster?

I think a bit of a slow/ chilled morning is absolutely fine. Some of us aren’t morning people and like to ease into the day, becoming more active later on.

Some people start off the day full of life, but then slow down later in the day. Neither is wrong!

If I was being picky, an hour with the morning coffee (you said this was the max) is a bit long. About 20 mins would seem more usual. But I still don’t think he has any right to comment!

Sounds like you’ve got nailed to me.
if I had my time again I’d be more like heya youve deceived, it’s so much healthier than the helicopter tangle of anxiety social media makes mums into now
she’s safe, you’re connected, carry on x

She is 10-months, she has a short attention span. Seriously diving into screen time at 10-months is really bad as the recommendation is zero!

Turn the tv off fgs

But if the baby is contact napping on you in
a comfortable position, that’s quite nice isn’t it ?

Controversial opinion, but babies can be quite boring. I loved my mat leave but was secretly pleased to be back at work after a year each time. I relished the brief moments they were willing to chill out without intervention, which is why two kids was great as they entertain each other.

Anyway, I learned I could never work in a nursery or be a childminder. Mine are 16 and 14 now and I love it. Baby stage was fab, but not my favourite.

Tell him self directed play is crucial for development, problem solving, emotional regulation and creativity…why wouldn’t he want that for her and why wouldn’t he think you deserve time to relax …you definitely put in the hours with a 10 month old. Ms Rachel is fab too. If your day starts before 8 you have the right to a break

Same

Yes, we go to 2 baby groups per week and usually go a walk after. Saturdays we do swimming. Then once a week I visit family or meet other mum friends where we go to a softplay. I go to book bug with her too and local playgroup in village. In the house I read everyday to her, I sing to her all the time, constantly playing with her, tickling her, talking to her. She is only in playpen for my morning coffee.

If she’s being read to, why does it matter if that’s sat on the sofa or sat in the playpen?

Same.

That said, first of all, your DH needs to be left with DD for a day without you, from when he first wakes up to after dinner. It’s about to be the weekend; perfect time. Of course he thinks you’re “lazy” if he’s never actually tried to care for DD or make her dinner while she screams in her high chair.

But… maybe this is daft or maybe there’s something I’m missing but couldn’t you just drag the playpen so that it’s temporarily in the kitchen or at least visible from the kitchen? I mean, your problem is she hates the high chair, so the solution is not screen time; it’s not putting her in the high chair until it’s time to eat (can you imagine if we made an adult sit, then trapped them in their chair the whole time dinner was being cooked???? It’s pretty natural that she hates it).

Turn the telly off and do not give a 10month old baby screen time on your phone. What am I reading?

OP if you were working and you employed a nanny, would you be happy for her to watch an hour of TV while your baby was sitting in a playpen?

It’s literally fine. The people who won’t let their baby play independently for an hour are the ones who complain when they have a Velcro toddler.