To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

No he is not a nice boy. He's a psychopath in the making.

Didn’t RTFT

👏👏👏

This child has escalated from attacking his peers to attacking adults, unless I've misunderstood?

⬆This

Sorry doesn't stop somebody dying in less aggressive and prolonged attacks than this though, does it?

Sorry doesn't unbreak bones, stop bleeding or make scars disappear. Or bring somebody back to life after a single punch, never mind being battered with a hefty lump of steel and stamped on. Which is why action needs to be taken before he attacks somebody else, perhaps a teacher or another, smaller, more vulnerable child.

You tell his parents and they discipline him, he will only get worse

If I had been hit multiple times with a scooter and my wrist stamped on (even if it was a kid) and my partner tried to justify it with “he’s a nice kid” and “your tone wasn’t very nice”, they’d be dumped before they even knew it…wild

Are you saying

"don't tell his parents because it will get worse"?

Or

"You must tell his parents or else it will get worse"?

Your single, incomplete sentence was ambiguous.

So your cousin only said sorry once his mum was called ? He had a long time to apologise but left it to the last minute.

He has serious issues. A 9 year old causing this level of injury to an adult sounds out of control. He used the scooter as a weapon.

Added with his fighting at school, his behaviour is concerning to say the least.

She was very angry at cousin and took him home but she wasn’t pleased at how BF treated him either.

That shouldn't even have occurred to her.

When my son was little there was a few times adults were mean to him, and I'd be pissed off, but if my son in response whacked them across the face with a scooter and then stamped on their wrist I'd say I wouldn't care that the other person was mean. It would be one thing if your boyfriend demonstrated extreme behavior towards him and was screaming and shouting and roaring but you said all he did was took his seat and told him to go and play somewhere else in a mean tone, if it was a female friend or your mother or father or someone else who did it would you all be discussing what they did wrong also or would you just be all completely horrified by how the child retaliated.

This is SO bad. Parents need to be told. The cousin needs help - if je did that to another child he could have killed them! He needs to get his rage and violent tendencies under control.

just saw the update. At least the mum knows but... This is really scary. I would be terrified to have a child like your nephew anywhere near my kids. I hope your aunt takes it very seriously.

How?
That's a wild take.

What if the OP posted that she took the chair and told him to go and play somewhere else and used a mean tone, And she got the same treatment, would you think she was more wrong?

Or if it was OPs mother or father? and they got whacked across the face with a scooter and their wrist stamped on? Would you also think they were 'more wrong'?

Every child at one point or another will probably encounter an adult who is a bit mean to them or tells them to go and play somewhere else, they may not like it but they don't respond with extreme violence.

Call me old-fashioned, but in my world 9 year olds don't demand that adults vacate seats for them. I don't believe that your bf did anything wrong. Your cousin is a thug and if he were mine, that scooter would be gone first thing.

I'd be very curious to know what the other fight was like, a 'normal fight' between 2 kids or was it also an excessive show of violence by this boy?

Also I wonder is he witnessing rages and violence in the home, or is he on the receiving end of any?

He definitely needs immediate help, and the parents are failing him if they don't get it for him.

Your cousin is a nasty degenerate. Your bf sounds awful. Hope you didn’t call an ambulance - take home yourself or get a taxi.

???

Cousin sounds like a thug. I’d report to the police to give him a shock. He can’t behave like this

This is abnormal violence for a 9 year old. You do need to tell his parents.

I've reported your post for the same reason.

How do you know this out of interest?

This, also what happens when hes older and stronger and a smaller child annoys him. He could end up putting someone in hospital or worse. This child really needs to speak to someone. Your aunt needs referring to CAHMS at the very least he needs to see a specialist as he could be a serious danger.

I wonder what a mean tone really means. However, it is reasonable that he get out of a chair that has been vacated by someone else, because that someone wants it back? Does the mean tone mean a stern tone, an irritable tone, a tone that says 'I am not doing what a 9 year old tells me to', or is it a 'don't you dare tell me what to do or I will batter you' tone? Hard to say.

Did the boyfriend hit back at the child as he was being attacked? I am assuming he could have done, but didn't. Would it have been acceptable if he had? What do we think of the fact that he probably didn't?