To be incredibly jealous of friends home?

[NeverMindMee]

One of my friends has recently bought a new home and is doing it up and I can’t help but feel so incredibly jealous.

We have a lovely home but I feel it’s so boring. We bought a new build a few years ago and it’s a lovely house. I am very happy with it. We have not millennial grey washed it but it we have been very sensible with our choices. Carpets that don’t show dirt, solid furniture in sensible colours for children that will last. Sensible storage options etc.

We get lots of compliments on our home and it is lovely but I feel like it has absolutely no personality, you would never walk into it and think “oh that home belongs to so and so”.

My friends house on the other hand has so much personality. She has spent ages going to thrift shops and up cycling one of a kind items, hand selecting everything. You would absolutely walk into that house and know it belongs to her and her DP. It reflects their personality so beautifully.

I can’t help but compare. Her house isn’t what I would have myself so I’m not jealous of her things but I am jealous because I’m sat here in my boring home. If I wanted to bring anything crazy in I’m sure DH would say no way.

Comparison is the thief of joy but I do this! Our friends are married and bought a lovely new build home and we live in a mouldy flat. I’m always comparing to friends that live in houses but I’ve had things happen in my life that meant I couldn’t save for stuff like that until now in my 30s and I’m still years off even with DP there. You can always decorate your place to make it have more personality. Lots more colours, knick knacks etc. our flat is covered in figurines and art from games and race cars. The walls are bare white though. Everything is what you make it.

edit to add: it’s your home too what’s your other half gonna do? Say “that rug is too colourful, take it away immediately!” Probably not.

Some people have a great eye for design and details… and some of us don’t. The easy option of to ask her for advice and simply jazz up your home with fresh bright paint. It takes half a day and less than £50 to make a room ‘sing’. Try it!

While I appreciate homes with lots of colour and bright patterns etc it’s so far from what I would want in my own home that I really appreciate coming back here!
Our house has muted colour and is quite neutral. Most of the furniture has been made and built in by dh so it’s not moveable and will be here until we leave (and then it’s down to whoever lives here after us!).
I like having a calm and neutral house, find it very relaxing. One particular friend has a really colourful house, it totally suits her personality. She has purple hair and dresses so brightly, her husband just goes along with it because it makes her happy 😂😂

Buy some accessories for your home

I wish I'd gone plain and practical when my children were little as they tend to wreck things. Easy to clean is definitely the way forward.
If I was you though I'd choose one room to do a bit differently that would bring you more joy, take your time to find things you love for just one room.
I'd go for somewhere smallish like the bathroom or porch or something and find special pictures for the wall or lovely rugs or whatever you particularly like.

I know how you feel and I've felt the same, I'm now gradually adding pieces that really take my fancy. I love this lady's videos: Your home isn't weird enough

Go treat yourself to something interesting! I've been searching vinted and I love that it then suggests similar things.

I think it is just the stage of life you are at. When my children were little our house looked very different to the way it does now - more like you describe your house. As they grew we were able to indulge our own tastes more and now I love our house and feel it really reflects our personalities. Mainly because we now have more money, don't have to worry about fingerprints on everything, don't need storage boxes for books and toys, can have a book room instead of a play space, can afford to make a few mistakes or buy something a bit pricier than we did.

Maybe have a look on line or at library books about interior design and begin to develop your own taste for when the time comes that you are ready to renovate/repaint/etc.

Do they have dc?

But my thread isn’t about those people. You could literally post that comment on half of the threads people post on here.

Don’t complain about your job because people don’t have one. Don’t complain about your house because people don’t have one. Don’t complain about how much money you earn because people earn less. There will always be someone out there with less than you. It doesn’t mean you can never complain about what you have.

Maybe this thread isn’t for you.

Life is too short to live in a house with decor you don't love, especially when you own it & can, theoretically, decorate however you like.

You can change up your own house - you're not stuck forever

Try to identify what sort of style you love, i love looking at interiors magazines online, & start implementing some changes

Thank you for this I will take a look!

Oh come on! Nobody could complain about anything if they had to compare their lives in that way.

I had a look at an interior designer who charges £500 per room to plan it out for you but even her “budget” recommendations suggest you should plan approx £2500 for decor. So 3k to redesign my living room on a budget. Definitely not something we could afford any time soon!

I would ask my friend but her style is a very specific style and so far removed from anything we have would chose so I’m not sure she be of much help!

I should have thought you'd be pleased that your friend has created a lovely home. Instead you feel jealous. She's not a friend is she? We don't feel jealous and upset about friends' achievements

oh bore off

I’m like you and have always been very practical, but have been trying to bring a bit more joy into the house recently and think about what I actually love, not just what is the easiest/ most sensible.
There is a balance though because I know I’d be annoyed if I got something totally impractical and then the kids ruined it.

You can definitely change the feel of a room with some nice wall art, new curtains, cushion covers or more interesting lighting.

Don’t be ridiculous.
I assume you never complain about anything!

You don't need an interior designer just use chatgpt. You can change a room quite significantly by just a few small changes.

If you’re thinking about repainting I find Instagram good for decor inspiration and the Farrow & Ball website.

Where did I say I was upset and not pleased for her? You’ve made that up.

Jealousy is a completely natural emotion, it’s how you handle it that makes you a bad friend. Whenever my friends achieve anything I am thrilled for them and often jealous. I use this jealousy to drive my own ambition. Because I’ve saw something and want that for myself also.

Right now that jealousy has highlighted how soulless my own house is.

But no one’s making you have a boring house, OP. Think about what you’d like it to look like. Next time you need to repaint a room, choose an interesting colour. They’re not any less ‘sensible’ than dull colours. Strong, saturated colours show up child handprints less than paler ones, for one thing. And you can always make it less dull by hanging interesting things on the walls — buy yourself some art. Check out local auction houses, galleries, art groups that exhibit, your nearest art school degree show etc. We used to live in a house we knew we’d be reselling within a few years so we just painted it white throughout and kept flooring very neutral —all the interest came from what was hanging on the walls and lighting. Good lamps are key. And plants! Hanging plants can be kept away from children.

OK. Have it your way

I think you can absolutely redecorate a room for FAR less than this!

I've embraced putting out things I already have, holiday souvenirs, game pieces, kids art work, pretty books. I've tried to get prettier/quirkier practical things like lamps, doorstops, cushions, fruit bowl.

For quirky kid friendly, I love the stickers on this website.

I'd immerse yourself a little in interior design content, not to compare but to get ideas. I think just a few vignettes on a mantel piece or shelf can make a big difference.

Look at the importance of scale too.