AIBU to expect my husband to buy lubricant for sex?

[Orangeducks]

For years me and my husband have used lubricant in sex because otherwise I bleed/ it chafes and isn't that comfortable. The bottle ran out about a month ago and I asked him to buy more (I know I could buy it but im a teacher and terrified a student/parent will spot me buying it). Its always been him that buys it. He just keeps forgetting and the last couple of times we've had sex without it but I bleed and its become like a joke that he hasn't bought it. We were about to have sex earlier and I got annoyed that he hadn't bought any yet. I explained that I play my part in our sex life by going to the pharmacy every 3 months and getting my blood pressure checked etc to get the pill and put artificial hormones in my body every day (he refuses to get the snip though were definitely done with kids) as well as all the other stuff that women accept comes with sex (I get thrush fairly frequently) and that I felt it wasn't much to ask that he picked up a bottle of lube. I am almost always with the children (they attend my school) as well so any time I'm shopping, they're with me. He works away 3 days a week so has a lot more time alone and I am very rarely out of the house with out my kids and don't fancy going to the lube aisle with them! He's just stormed out and said I could buy it and now is sulking.
AIBU to make it his responsibility to buy it?

Leaving aside the nonsense about shared Amazon accounts (other online retailers of lube are available), why are you letting a man penetrate you vaginally if it's going to lead to pain and bleeding?

I can't believe the amount of posters missing the actual point.

Her husband's knows she bleeds and sex is painful. She is fully responsible for contraception, he has one job and sulks when reminded because he isn't arsed about his wife's comfort when they have sex.

I'd say the issue is much deeper than 'buy your own lube, you prude'

You clearly have no understanding of teenagers. They will have done an MI5 espionage level of analysis of her trolley contents in the time she's said 'Why are you buying WKDBlue.' And will have posted pics of it online before she's through the checkout.

It’s the principle. He should sort it and hasn’t . He sounds like an arse.

I hope he's been treated for thrush too. You should address this

Slightly off topic but if you're getting thrush often is your DH treating himself for thrush or only you?

Have you been to the dr about the bleeding? Its not normal to bleed when you have sex. I really think you need to get checked out.

So you share an Amazon account with his mum. Guess what? I think given the fact you've got kids, she already knows you have a sex life with her son 😂

Otherwise there's LoveHoney, Ann Summers and a million other places you could order lube online.

I think this was always my point. It was not the actual issue of buying lube. It seemed to me to be his one job in our sexual relationship. So not doing it and expecting sex anyway and sulking when I didn't want to felt hurtful and disrespectful?
I may have mislead people by making it sound like my AIBU was 'AIBU for feeling ashamed of buying lube'.
But its actually about the wider issue of balance in our sexual relationship

Can’t you order it online I mean plenty of sites sell all different kinds of lube these days or even do a scan as you shop & pop it straight into your shopping bag. You are entitled to a sex life being a teacher personally I wouldn’t give a hoot what anyone saw in my trolley. Supermarkets sell sex toys these days there’s no shame in it. You both utilise the lube so both take responsibility for making sure you’ve got it & crack on with enjoying fun time with your husband.

I share an Amazon account with my bloke. We can’t see each other’s orders.

You know you don't have to have sex with him,

Messing about with the pill, buying lube, dealing with thrush and the sulky man. Wouldn't even want the sex.

Thank you for your concern! Yes I have multiple checks by the doctors and the gynaecology team at the hospital and I have cervical ectropion which is harmless bleeding after friction. They've been very thorough in their checking and it seems to not be something to be overly concerned about which can be eased with lubricant

Thank you for your concern! Yes I have multiple checks by the doctors and the gynaecology team at the hospital and I have cervical ectropion which is harmless bleeding after friction. They've been very thorough in their checking and it seems to not be something to be overly concerned about which can be eased with lubricant

I was completely with you until this.

Does his mum not know you have sex? What does it matter?

But I agree he should be taking responsibility too. I’d leave him to sulk until he eventually buys some but I’m petty like that and I can go much longer without it than my partner

Also I have always bought the lube in my partnership, even though it ‘benefits’ both of us. This is not because my husband is lazy or selfish but because I am a more details-oriented and practical person than he is. Also, I had been around the block more than he had and knew that lube wasn’t simply for bum sex, Similarly, when menopause brought a dry vagina and low libido, I sorted out the right HRT regime. Did the research, chased the GP, got the referral to the menopause clinic and the right meds. Two happy people. because life is too short not to take action to resolve simple stuff.

So you should see your GP about the vaginismus and thrush and get some proper gynae care (unless you’re too worried about what the GP might think of you 🙀and short term. buy the lube!

You can order in bulk to get free shipping from £39:
https://www.chemist-4-u.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=Lubricant

Dear lord. The amount of people excusing your husband being a complete knob! He should be buying it.

Just seen your update - pleased you have gynae advice. Buy the lube!

This. I am also appalled by the posters saying op should just do everything and her poor husband, working away three days a week with plenty of time on his hands, shouldn't hold any responsibility at all.

Op, you are not unreasonable in the slightest. The point isn’t that you could buy it. It is that he has to contribute one thing and refuses to do so.

I would not be entertaining sex without the lube so if he hasnt bought any next time, don’t risk it.

Edited as I missed the last post: Given that you have a diagnosis after speaking to your GP about recurrent thrush and bleeding after sex a d the cause is friction that could be resolved with lube, and your husband knows this, he is an arse. Is your dh treating himself every time too?

I completely understand this. Yes, you could buy it yourself but he really needs to make the effort, especially if he refuses to get the snip and relies on you to be on the pill.

DH & I share an Amazon Prime account; we cannot see each other's purchases.

I can’t imagine having sex with a man who wouldn’t care that he left me bleeding. That’s beyond grim.

I’ve got dry with peri, and dh has seriously upped his foreplay game because the man loves a challenge, encouraged me to see the gp and researched different lubrication options. He also has the self control to stop if I’m not comfortable because I’m a person he loves, not a sex hole.

Sorry @Orangeducks but nothing about this ok. Buying the lube is the absolute barrel scraping minimum anyone should expect. But your standards need to come up much, much higher. You deserve so much better.

Sorry I've just gone and checked and its not antibiotics but Flucanozole which is an anti fungal medicine. One a week for 6 months. Seemed to have worked so far!